Memories of Us
by EtrnlPsyche
Summary: Bella is hired as Edward's nanny after the death of his wife. Having lost her husband and child, can they help each other heal and possibly find love along the way? AU/AH. OOC.
1. Prologue

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AN: Alright, I decided to go ahead and post the prologue for this and I'll start with chapter 1 on Monday. This is a NASCAR related story. The guys are all drivers and though they're are many parts that take place at the track or during races, much like Somebody, it' a story about their lives, not racing so even if you don't like NASCAR give it a chance. Please. If you don't like it, you don't have to read it.

**Enjoy! Please remember I thrive on feedback. It helps me remember to update :D**

**HAPPY NEW YEAR! HOOK 'EM HORNS!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. All characters belong to the wonderful Mrs. Meyer and NASCAR is obviously property of Brian France and all such related entities.**

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Prologue

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" he pleaded looking into her beautiful baby blues, their lively luster all but gone through months of radiation and chemo.

She closed them slowly before looking back into his emerald eyes, doing her best to hold in her tears as his began to fall. "Edward, I have to do this… I don't have a choice. Just take care of Kellen if I don't come through this."

"Don't do that Paige. Don't talk like you're not coming out of that room. I can't lose you, baby. I can't raise a baby on my own…"

Reaching up with a fragile hand, she brushed his tears from his cheek. "You're not on your own Eddie. You've got Anne and Esme, you'll always have me whether I'm here physically or not."

"Mr. Masen…"

He straightened and turned towards the nurse that had tapped him on the shoulder. "Yes?"

"We need you to sign some paperwork for your wife, sir. And we need to get her prepped so… If you can…"

He nodded, angry that they were rushing what might be the last moments he ever spent with his wife. "I love you, Paige. I want you to you know that. I'll be waiting for you when you come out."

Edward leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips, tasting his own salty tears.

"I love you Eddie…" she said softly, dropping his hand as they rolled her into the operating room.

As soon as the doors closed he wiped back his tears and went to the nurses' station, signing the papers that Paige had made him promise to sign if ever in this situation. _Do not resuscitate_. He bit back the bile rising in his throat and tossed down the pen before joining his stepmother and sister in the waiting room.

Esme Cullen reached out to her little brother, absently rubbing his back as they began the long wait. None of them thought it would come to this when Edward's wife, Paige had been diagnosed with breast cancer shortly after the birth of their son, Kellen.

After years of research and fundraising, no one died of breast cancer anymore. She'd had a mastectomy and gone through the routine treatments but upon her latest check up they found that the cancer had spread into her lungs and short of a very risky surgery there was nothing they could do.

Nine months ago all any of them could think about was how happy they were that Edward had finally found someone to spend his life with and a beautiful child, the spitting image of his father except for his vibrant blue eyes, to spoil and pamper.

Since when did 27 year-old women suffer from such a horrific disease?

Edward glanced at the clock on the wall realizing only a few hours had passed. They'd told him it would take at the least eight hours but her chances of survival were minimal. He just didn't understand why they couldn't just leave her alone. She wasn't in pain they'd given her so many painkillers all she ever did anymore was sleep.

And all he ever did was lay with her, holding her tightly, praying nonstop that God would just make this all go away.

The last thing any of them wanted to see was the swinging of the operating room door as a doctor walked slowly towards them, his bloodstained clothing more than they could bear.

"Mr. Masen…"

Slowly looking into his eyes, Edward quickly hung his head as wrenching sobs spilled from his body.

"I'm sorry…" He added, casting glances at Anne and Esme before walking away.

"WHY!?!?!" Edward yelled suddenly, unable to reign in his anger any longer before storming from the hospital and out into the downpour that had so suddenly swept through the Carolinas. He looked into the storm, not flinching as hard drops of rain bit into his face. "WHY GOD!!! If you had to take anybody why'd it have to be her!?"

He fell hard to his knees on the hard pavement not caring that he'd attracted a crowd as he began to rock back and forth with his hands clinched over his heart. "Why her…"

* * *

Anne stood in the doorway of Edward's house not ready to leave as he tried to push her out. "Edward I'm not sure you need to be alone right now…"

He shook his head. "I've got to deal with this Anne…"

"Edward… Look at me. It's barely been 8 hours it's too early to deal with it. Trust me. If anyone knows it's me." She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Sweetie, you need to be with people who love you right now. We've been by your side this entire time and we're not just going to abandon you because she's not here anymore."

He refused to look at her. He understood where she was coming from, she'd been there when his dad died and that had been sudden. They'd all watched Paige slowly die away for almost a year and now she was gone. How did he tell her that all he wanted to do right now was go upstairs and hug her pillow and breath in her scent trying to forget that she's not there anymore. How he'll sit on the couch and wait for her to walk through the front door with Kellen hanging halfway off of her hip as she struggles with the groceries and he'll rush in and save whatever she tossed at him first.

"Look," she said softly. "I'll keep Kellen with me for a few days alright. But I really want you to try to at least come over there and spend some time with your family Edward. We love you and you're not alone in this."

"I know Anne…" He pulled her into a hug and watched as she ran to her car, before closing the door and slowly taking the stairs, stopping outside of their bedroom door.

He stared at the unmade bed and the soft indention her head had left in the pillow when she'd gotten up that morning, before sinking to the floor and allowing the tears to flow.

The one woman he'd ever truly loved was gone and now all he had were memories and a 9 month-old baby boy to remember her by.


	2. Chapter 1

**AN: I'm going to give you some info really quickly regarding the character's relationships and ages in this story. As the story continues it becomes more obvious but I'm mainly going to just explain the relationship of the Masen family. Everyone else's relationships are pretty much mentioned outright. But I'll start out with ages.**

**Edward is 30, Esme is 32, Carlisle is 35, Bella is 28, Jasper is 25, Rosalie is 23, Emmett is 28 and Alice is 18. The two children in this story Kellen is 1 and Karsyn who is Esme and Carlisle's daughter is 4.**

**Now the Masen family explanation....Elizabeth Masen is the mother of Esme and Edward. Anne Masen is the mother of Rosalie. Edward Masen Sr. is the father of Edward, Esme, and Rosalie. Anne is Edward Sr's second wife (now widow). Carlisle is married to Esme. **

**Enjoy! Please remember I thrive on feedback. It helps me remember to update :D**

**HAPPY NEW YEAR! HOOK 'EM HORNS!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. All characters belong to the wonderful Mrs. Meyer and NASCAR is obviously property of Brian France and all such related entities.**

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Chapter One

Edward rushed through the house picking up the toys that were scattered carelessly around, nearly breaking his foot as he tripped on a Tonka truck at the base of the stairs. "I swear to God!"

"Problems little brother?" Esme asked with a smirk as she walked into the house, her green eyes sparkling in amusement.

He rolled his eyes. "Don't mess with me right now Es. I've got a meeting in half an hour and I've been trying to clean up Kellen's mess for the last two."

"Where is he?"

Edward threw his hand in the direction of the living room and shook his head as his sister went after her nephew. "You're spoiling him! He's a big enough handful as it is, especially with all the sponsor stuff I'm trying to take care of lately. Fender's running out of toys for him to play with."

"Hey there mister…" Esme cooed as she scooped the small child into her arms. "You're driving your daddy crazy. Yes you are…" She walked back into the foyer to find Edward sitting in a frustrated heap on the stairs, his green eyes dull with defeat and his bronze hair pointing in various directions from his hands running through it. "Have you given any thought to my suggestion?"

He looked up at her shaking his head, laughing at the gurgling noises Kellen was making while she bounced him on her hip. "I don't know if I can do that, sis. I don't want to leave him with some stranger all the time."

"Edward. You work entirely too much to give him the adequate attention he ne…"

"Esme! I spend every waking moment with him. I need to be with him… I want to be with him."

She rolled her eyes. "Would you just listen to me for a minute? You can't spend every minute with him and drive a racecar too, Edward. I'm not telling you to give up your son or that you can't spend time with him, I'm just saying that you need some help."

"And just how do you suggest I do that? Advertise it on my car? Want to help raise my kid… Ask me how?"

"I swear sometimes that bleach job you did on your hair a as a teenager killed some brain cells. No you dork, post an ad in the paper. I'll do the interviewing for you, that way I'll know their hired on ability," she smirked.

He stood up and crossed his hands over his chest, his narrowed eyes only emphasizing the darkness beneath. If she hadn't already known the apparent weariness on his face and darkened circles were proof of his exhaustion. "Well I'm telling you now, I'm not going to the track without him with me. So what are you going to do about that?"

She threw her free hand in the air. "Edward, I'm ahead of you on that one too. I'm going to find you someone who's able to do the job well, someone who can help out around here because you obviously need it if picking up toys after a 1-year-old is that much of a problem for you, and someone who can travel so they can be at the track to watch Kellen while you're busy with other obligations. Most likely a live-in."

He sighed, scratching at the few days worth of stubble that scattered his face and looked at the floor, rubbing his foot over a scratch in the hardwoods. "I don't want some stranger living here with me… Jasper's here most of the time he helps…a little."

"Look. I know this is the last thing you want Edward but it's been three months since Paige died and, well you haven't been at the track since. I'll admit, you've really come a long way in a short amount of time but I don't know how you're going to handle this alone. It's going to be hard for you and I know Kellen's your anchor but he's going to need someone to take care of him when you can't because you're not going to be there all of the time once the season starts back. The only reason you've had all the time you've had with him anyway is because you've got sponsors that have a heart and gave you some time to grieve. What are you going to do when you've got to fly to Missouri or Utah or something for a signing ? You can't just dump him on my and mom's doorstep, or even Anne's, every time you're on your way to make the corporate people happy. It's not fair to him. He needs some stability in his life too, Edward."

"You think I don't know that Esme? I'm doing all I can to be the best father I can be and all I can think about is how I shouldn't be doing this without her. She told me I could do this and I… I don't want to let her down," he added softly.

"Edward. Trust me. You're not letting her down by getting some help. Paige knew your organizational skills, I'm sure she'd be thrilled for you to have some extra hands around."

"Kiss my ass, Es," he smirked, remembering the many times Paige had gone behind him cleaning up his cleaning.

She frowned at him. "Language Junior! You need to realize that everything you say, he's going to pick up on it so if you must swear, at least put earmuffs on him first."

Edward rolled his eyes. "Yes mom." He quickly glanced at his watch and grabbed his keys. "You're going to be okay with him, right?"

Her only answer was a raised brow.

"Sorry. Just…"

"I know but I do have a four year old at home. I think I've got it covered. Go before you're late. We're going to go over to Anne's in a little while anyway. Rosalie's moving back home and she's itching to get her hands on this baby of yours."

He nodded and pressed a kiss on Kellen's cheek. "If there's an emer…"

"I know Edward…" She watched as he rushed out of the house, shaking her head in amusement. If someone had told her 2 years ago that her baby brother would be a single father raising a child on his own, she would've laughed in their face. But as it was, she'd never seen a more attentive and loving parent as Edward and that included herself and Carlisle. "Who would've imagined it, Kel Kel? We've just got to get your daddy some help before he drives us all crazy."

* * *

"So he finally agreed?" Anne asked with relief, as she took Kellen from Esme and sat on the sofa, giving him a kiss before her daughter quickly snatched him out of her hands making faces at him as she bounced the little boy on her knee.

"Careful Rose, you don't want to bounce him too much."

Rosalie Masen just rolled her eyes at her mother and looked at her nephew with a big smile. "I've held a baby before mom. "

Esme shrugged, returning to the conversation that Anne had started before her twenty-three year old bombshell of a daughter , Esme and Edward's half sister, had interrupted their conversation. "I'm not sure it was an all out agreement but I told him I'd run an ad and do the interviewing. The last thing I want is for him to hire some girl that doesn't know where to stuff a rectal thermometer."

Rosalie snorted, trying to carefully pull her long blond locks out of her nephew's tight grip as she responded. "He's not that bad anymore and you know it. Paige settled him down a lot but this little guy has done a number on him. Edward just better hope Kellen doesn't act like him…"

"Should we put an age preference in this thing?" Esme asked. "As much as we want to have an old school teacher take this job, I don't think she'll have the stamina for it, especially with the traveling."

Anne gave a thoughtful nod. "I'd say between the age of 25 and 40? I don't really think Edward's going to be looking for anyone any time soon. He's still…"

"I know. Of course it's going to have to be someone that doesn't have much of a social life either. We can't have anyone with kids or a husband at home because they'll never see them. I'm definitely thinking live in…"

"Well. Do what you think is best Esme. You might want to run it by Ben as well. Let him do some checking up before we do any interviews or hiring. Have you talked to Elizabeth about it?"

"Yeah. Mom completely agrees he needs a live-in but Edward's her baby and she doesn't want him upset either." She sighed and stood up, stretching her tired body. "I guess I'll try to get this worked up so we can put it in the paper tomorrow. That should give us barely a month to get everything situated before Daytona."

* * *

Isabella Black rolled her neck as she turned yet another page, looking for the perfect job. She didn't know exactly what she was looking for but she'd know it when she saw it. As far as she was concerned anything that got her out of her current situation would be the answer.

Taking a long sip of her espresso, she took a moment to look out of the front window of the coffee shop, watching as throngs of people went about their daily grind, some of them smiling, others mirroring the way she felt, trapped and lonely.

Looking back at the paper one ad in particular caught her attention repeatedly.

_Wanted: Single female with no children between 25-40 years of age for a full time, live in nanny position for one-year-old boy. Constant travel will be involved and expenses as well as room and board will be provided in addition to salary. Experience encouraged but not necessary. Please mail resumes and inquiries to Esme Platt, PO Box 880, Charlotte, NC 28206._

Circling the ad with a red marker she glanced at her watch, biting back a curse when she realized she was late and could only hope she wouldn't be fired until something else came up. Working the graveyard shift in the county morgue was by no means her idea of a good time but she didn't have anywhere else to be or anyone else to be with.

As a matter of fact, she didn't have anything at all.

She said a quick prayer as she threw her belongings into her bag that this job was a sign of things to come.

* * *

"So Isabella, I noticed on your resume that you don't have any experience taking care of children… Why do you think this would be a good job for you?" Esme shifted uncomfortably in her chair as she looked across the table at the young woman in front of her.

According to her application she was 27 and her only job experience was her current job at the county morgue. How this woman thought she was qualified for this job was beyond her. Yet there was something in her eyes that she couldn't quite get past.

"Well, I love children. I've always been partial towards them. Quite honestly I'd rather spend time with them than I would people my age. They're too young to be judgmental." She gave a weak laugh and absently picked at the arm of the chair. "And… well I really don't have anything keeping me here."

Esme nodded slowly. There was nothing shifty or uncomfortable about her, she was actually quite soothing compared to many of the people she'd interviewed. She was definitely a candidate, despite her lack of qualifications. "Alright. Well, we've got a few more interviews lined up after yours so we'll probably make our decision in a few days."

Bella nodded and smiled. "Thank you." She closed the door softly behind her as she left.

The moment the door latched Esme picked up the phone. "Ben, I need you to check on someone. Isabella Swan Black. Birthdate 9-13-81. I don't have a social but it's not a common name. Just let me know as soon as you get something."

* * *

Edward picked up Kellen, tossing him in the air with ease, smiling as his son frantically waved his arms and laughed. He caught him and swung him around in a circle then they fell in a tired heap on the couch.

Kellen crawled against his father's chest, snuggling his head beneath his chin as Edward gently stroked his back and stared at a picture of Paige and Kellen right after he was born.

"I don't want to let you down baby…" he spoke quietly. "I know you said I can do this but I can't do it alone…"

Kellen tightened his small hand, grabbing a handful of his shirt as he fell asleep in his arms.

"I can't do this without you…" he whispered as he closed his eyes and pressed his lips to Kellen's head, smelling his delicate scent. "I can't do this without you…"


	3. Chapter 2

**AN: How's it goin everyone!? First of all... thank you for all of the feedback I've gotten on this story so far. My udpates on this will still be daily, they just may not be in the morning when I usually post because I'm having to elaborate on some stuff as I go. I sometimes forget to throw in character descriptions the way they need to be because obviously, we're all very familiar with the physical descriptions of these characters so please bear with me in this story. I'm trying.**

**Just a quick not about White Flag. I'm leaving the poll regarding this story up until the end of the week that way I can go ahead and get some chapters ready to post in the even that the majority of you guys want me to go ahead and post not instead of waiting for it to be completed. As of right now, it's leaning in the favor of post as I write so we'll see where we stand on Friday. Even though I'd personally like to finish the story first, I'm going to do what you guys want so please VOTE!**

**Now on with the story and btw... HOOK 'EM HORNS! My boys play tonight at 8 ET on Fox so watch and cheer them on! If they win I'll even post two chapters of this story tomorrow. How would you like that?!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. All characters belong to the wonderful Mrs. Meyer and NASCAR is obviously property of Brian France and all such related entities.**

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Chapter Two

"Her name is Isabella Swan Black. 27-years-old. Widowed. Her husband, Jacob and 5 month-old son, Seth, died in a car accident three years ago. She has no living relatives and no criminal history. From what I can tell she's just someone trying to make ends meet and make it from day to day."

Esme flipped through the pages Ben had given her passing them to Anne when she was finished. "Well. I say that's our girl. She said nothing's keeping her here so …"

Anne frowned. "That's so horrible. I couldn't imagine losing a child…" she wiped her eyes not wanting to get caught up in her own past. "Well… She sounds like a good candidate to me. I suppose that explains her lack of employment until recently. Did she seem like a NASCAR fan?"

"Well, I know she's not a fan of Edward 's, or one of his rabid fans because she didn't recognize me. So I think we're safe with her."

"That's good." Anne smiled. "Well, get in touch with her and get her out here as soon as you can. We'll let her get acquainted with Edward and Kellen here and see how they get along, she and Kellen that is. Edward 's not going to like anyone coming into his life right now, whether it's to help or not."

Esme nodded. "I'll give her a call first thing in the morning. Maybe she can help him get through this… You know, having been there before."

Anne agreed, pretty sure that Bella was far from through it herself. "Or they could help each other…"

* * *

Bella paid the driver and turned towards the address that she'd been given, her eyes widening in shock at the mere size of the building. "What the hell have I gotten myself into?"

She took a deep breath and walked through the doors in awe of her surroundings. Her gaze lingered momentarily on the black car with a large white 82 on the side just inside of the door, before walking further inside to find out where she was supposed to go.

"Welcome to Masen Incorporated. May I help you?"

She looked over to see a young woman behind a large reception desk. "Yes, I'm supposed to meet with Esme. I was supposed to be here at 1, I'm a little early."

The woman smiled and made a quick phone call. "Mrs. Cullen will be right with you."

Bella smiled and turned to look at the various pictures adorning the walls along with the trophies and memorabilia that seemed to be everywhere she turned. Growing up in North Carolina, she knew that it was the mecca of all things NASCAR but she really didn't pay attention to it one way or the other. To her it was just a bunch of overgrown boys making too much money for playing with cars.

"Isabella?"

She turned around quickly and smiled at Esme, feeling immediately comforted by the bright smile that spread across her face as she pushed a stray strand of bronze hair behind her ear. "Bella please. I'm sorry I'm a little early. I was afraid I was going to be late."

Esme just laughed and waved a dismissive hand. "I'd rather you be early than late. That's my brother's job. If you'll just follow me I'll give you a run down on your actual job. I had to withhold a little bit of information during the interview because of the situation." They turned down a long hallway before stopping at a bay of elevators. "Are you a NASCAR fan?"

Bella shook her head. "My husband was before he died. I never could get into it, then after he was gone… I just…"

"Understandable. Is it going to be a problem for you to work around it?"

Bella looked at her cautiously. "I guess not, I never really considered it would be part of the job."

She followed Esme down a long hall and they stopped in front of two large doors. "She's waiting for you Esme," the secretary said.

Esme nodded and opened the door, allowing Bella to enter before her. "Go on."

She slowly entered the office surprised by the size and the beautiful blond woman sitting behind the desk. Casting a quick glance back at Esme, who smiled comfortingly and closed the door before joining her.

"Bella, this is Anne Masen. Anne, Bella Black."

Bella took a quiet moment looking the woman over. She was looked to be in her late 50s but she was very beautiful. Her sandy blond hair hung in loose waves around her head and her bright blue eyes were bright with amusement.

Anne stood up and shook Bella's hand, noticing her uncomfortable composure. "I promise we don't bite Bella," she said with a smile, happy when the younger woman smiled back and sat in one of the chairs across from them. "How are you doing today?"

"I'm fine." She replied, absently rubbing her hand on her pants. "Just a little nervous…"

Anne shook her head. "Honey, don't be nervous around here please. We're just a bunch of rednecks with a bunch of expensive redneck toys. We're by no means people to be nervous around."

Esme smiled and nodded for Anne to continue, letting her know that they needed to get this out of the way before Edward arrived with Kellen.

"Well let's get down to business. Our ad in the paper was just scraping the surface of the job we need you do to. There's more to it than what was in the ad because of the obvious reasons," she said motioning to her surroundings. "We're hiring you as a nanny for stepson's little boy. I'm not sure if you're a NASCAR fan or not but I'm pretty sure you've heard of Edward Masen, Jr.?"

Bella's eyes widened and she slowly nodded her head.

"Well. That's who you'll be working for or with. I'm going to be honest with you. Because of the obvious security issues, the fact that you will be taking care of a small child and the high profile life he has, we did have a background check done on you. It was by no means a way of invading your privacy but we had to see what kind of person you were. I hope you understand that."

She nodded. "I'm not trying to be nosy or anything but, why does he need a nanny? Where's his mother?"

Anne frowned momentarily. "His mother died about three months ago from cancer. Edward's been taking care of Kellen on his own and it hasn't been a problem but with the season starting back in a month, he's not going to be able to keep a constant eye on him or take him everywhere he goes but he refuses to be at the track without Kellen. So you'll be in great need around the track, as well as at home. But the fact that you've been through a similar situation greatly influences you getting this job more. We hope that not only will you be able to help with Kellen but that you'll be able to help Edward through what he's going to go through over the next few months or maybe years."

Bella took a deep breath and looked at the floor, not sure if she was ready for this. Part of the reason she worked in a morgue was because it kept her from having to open up to people. The truth was, she hadn't dealt with her loss and it had been three years ago. "To be honest with you… it's not something that's easy to deal with."

"Sweetheart, I know that more than anyone…" Anne added. "If nothing else you can help each other through it. Edward is very skeptical about this but he admits he needs help. I don't want you to be uncomfortable around him or any of us. If you have questions, feel free to ask them. We're here to help you just as much as you're here to help us."

"You'll be living at Edward's house, which isn't far from here. We've already got a room ready for you, next to Kellen's and we've had to order you a coach for the track. It should be ready by Daytona because trust me, you're going to need it. Kellen will sleep at Edward's every night but we'll make sure you're next to him so it'll be easy for you to help him when he needs it. Kellen will stay with you during the races, qualifying, and practice, also during any additional meetings or appearances that Edward has."

"Edward will want Kellen with him at some things," Esme jumped in. "But you'll be there. So, anytime he's not asleep in Edward's coach, you're going to be with him."

Bella looked on with wide eyes taking in everything the two women threw at her not at all sure she could handle it. But she sure as hell was going to try. She didn't have much choice. If nothing else she was going to get her life back and quit living like it was chore. With a nod she looked over at Esme. "I thought the ad said your name was Esme Platt?"

"Well, I knew if any of Edward's fans were looking at the want ads they'd recognize my name, Esme Cullen. Edward's my baby brother. Platt is my mother's maiden name."

"Alright, let's get this done," Edward blared as he burst through the office with Kellen hanging on his hip, a smile coming to his chubby little face when he saw his Aunt Esme.

Esme stood up, taking Kellen from his father and turned towards Bella, giving her an apologetic smile. "You'll have to excuse my brother. He skipped the manners line and went through the obnoxious line twice."

"Damnit, Esme. Would ya stop it?"

"Language Edward. This is Bella Black. She's going to be Kellen's nanny."

Edward pulled up to his full 6'2" height, instantly on guard, as he took sized up the woman standing in front of him. She only stood about 5'4" her head barely reaching his shoulder, her chocolate eyes met his straight on as her posture mimicked his to a tee and her chestnut hair hung in waves around her shoulders giving her a Kristen Stewart sort of cute quality.

He gave a short nod, smirking as she did the same. "You know anything about kids?"

Bella looked at him like he'd sprouted a second head. "I'm not answering that question. I wouldn't have been hired if I didn't."

Anne stepped around her desk and put a gentle hand on Edward's arm. "Can I talk to you for a minute? We'll let Esme stay in here while Kellen and Bella get acquainted."

She pulled him into the small lobby outside of her office. "What the hell is your problem Edward? Since when do you behave that way?"

He shrugged and ran a frustrated hand through his unruly bronze hair. "How do you know she's not some fan trying to get her hooks into me?"

"Edward, we're not stupid. She had no clue who Esme was until today or who she would be working with. And we had Ben run a check on her."

"So she's got experience with kids?"

Anne shrugged. "Well… yeah. She had a son. He was killed in a car accident a few years ago, along with her husband so don't get all high and mighty thinking she just wants your body or money. She's got nothing Edward. No family, nothing. Don't be an ass."

He looked at Anne stubbornly before offering a short nod. "Fine."

They walked back in the office surprised to find Kellen giggling loudly as he played with Bella on the floor.

Esme looked at Edward with smirk and shook his head. "So do you approve little brother?"

"Do I have a choice? Seems like Kellen's made his decision…"


	4. Chapter 3

**AN: Wassup people! As I was uploading this chapter I realized I got a little lazy and forgot to actually put lines in on the previous one so that is now taken care of. No more [hr] to confuse anyone. And guess what?!?!?!?! My boys won last night after nearly giving me a heart attack. First my heart was pounding hoping they could some how pull that game out and then they scored a touchdown with 16 seconds left on the clock and my heart stopped. It's very close to getting back to normal so we're all good. **

**But... you know what that win means don't you?! You guys get two chapters of Memories today!! Obviously this is the first one and the second chapter will be posted this afternoon before I leave work so around 5 ET just to give you an idea of when you'll get it.**

**Please keep in mind that what happens in this chapter and the next few has no bearings on the conclusion of this story. This is an Edward/Bella.**

**Btw, I'm having a horrible time trying to update, not sure if anyone else is having problems but everything works until I go to My Stories and nothing happens it tells me the page is down. I'm not happy! GRRRR!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. All characters belong to the wonderful Mrs. Meyer and NASCAR is obviously property of Brian France and all such related entities.**

* * *

Chapter Three

"And this is your room," Esme added, completing the tour she'd just given Bella of Edward's house. Pointing to the room directly across the hall from her, she added. "Occasionally, one of our Nationwide drivers lives here. His name is Jasper Whitlock. Technically he lives here, but he kind of comes and goes so don't scream or anything if you see a guy about 6'3" with crazy blond hair around here. He's a pretty good guy and he's a huge help to Edward…Or has been, with Kellen."

Bella nodded and turned to look at her room, surprised by the large canopy bed that overwhelmed the equally large space, stacked high with pillows and a plush duvet. "Wow…" she muttered stepping inside, unable to contain her amazement. The room was much larger than she'd anticipated.

Esme smiled. "I was hoping you'd like it. Edward put me in charge of decorating in here, little hobby I have, and I don't know about you but I'm a sucker for the Ernest Hemingway collection."

"It's gorgeous…" Bella responded as her fingers followed the scrolling wood of one of the posts.

"This door right here is your bathroom," Esme added opening a door along the far wall. "There's a connecting door into Kellen's room so if you'd like to, you can sleep with these doors open at night so you can get to him if he cries. Edward's room is a little further down the hall. He can hear him but you'll get to him faster." Esme stopped momentarily to watch the look of complete calm come over Bella and could tell at that moment that they'd made the right choice. This was going to be good for her and they could only hope it would be just as good for Edward. "Well, I'm going to get going. Edward will probably be home around 6 or 7 so just take a few hours to rest and get situated. Look around and get acquainted with the house, just stay out of Edward and Jasper's rooms. God only knows what you might find in them."

Bella followed Esme to the door and let her out, locking it behind her before padding into the living room and flopping onto the large sofa.

She locked her hands over her stomach and chewed on her bottom lip as she let her eyes roam over the room. Her gaze fell on a stack of photo albums on the bottom shelf of a bookcase and unable to hide her curiosity, she grabbed a couple of them and sat on the floor, leaning back against the couch.

The first album was more of a scrapbook with newspaper clippings, awards, photos, and other memorabilia from Edward's racing career. A few clippings in memory of his father were casually stuck between the pages and on the last page was a photo of him with his dad and Esme as she held hands with another man. Most likely her husband, he was beautiful and blond with bright amber colored eyes.

The moment she picked up the second album an obituary well to the floor. She picked it up quickly letting her eyes scan the words.

_MASEN, PAIGE MADISON age 27, of Lake Norman, North Carolina, was called home to rest with the Lord on Friday, October 29, 2008. The first child of the late Noah Lytle Madison and Carolyn Drake Madison, also of Lake Norman, she was a graduate of Lake Norman High School and a member of The Cove Church. In spite of physical and medical adversity, she was kind and generous of spirit, and will be greatly missed by her family and friends. She is survived by her loving and devoted husband, Edward Anthony Masen Junior and son, Kellen Edward Masen. Other family members include Elizabeth Platt Masen, Anne Masen, Rosalie Masen, and Carlisle, Esme, and Karsyn Cullen all residents of Lake Norman. A private memorial and burial service is planned. In lieu of flowers, the family requests that memorials be made to the Edward Masen Foundation, Victory Junction Gang or St. Jude's Ranch for Children._

She wiped her eyes and slid the slip of paper back into the front of the book then opened it to find a picture of Edward and what she could only assume was his wife, standing on a beach with the sun setting behind them and her hand outstretched showing an elaborate diamond solitaire.

Bella studied the picture. The woman was beautiful. Her long light brown hair curled around her like a halo and her perfect teeth smiled the brightest, happiest smile she'd ever seen.

Her gaze then fell on Edward, noticing the sparkle in his eye and the happiness on his face as he looked at the woman next to him. He was just as beautiful, long before the hardened lines of reality set in etching his face with the subtle worry and frown lines that marred his otherwise perfect appearance.

She took a deep breath and closed the album, unable to continue. She felt like she was invading their privacy and that's the last thing she wanted to do.

Deciding that she needed to get a good nap in before he came home with Kellen she went upstairs and unpacked the few bags she had, then crawled into the large bed moaning as her body sunk into the pillow top mattress. "Oh my God, this feels amazing…"

"What does your bed have that mine doesn't?" A deep voice with a bit of southern drawl asked from the doorway, startling her.

She jerked to a sitting position and swallowed hard at the sight before her. A man, she could only assume was the Jasper that Esme had referred to, leaned against her doorframe in gym shorts and a sweaty t-shirt, a hat turned around backwards on his head looking very much worse for wear but she could've sworn he was absolutely the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. "Um…"

He chuckled and stepped into the room, holding out his hand. "Jasper…"

"Bella…" she replied softly, taking his offered hand, surprised when he bent forward to kiss the back rather than shaking it.

"I guess we're neighbors now?"

She gave him a shy smile and nodded. "Yeah, seems that way."

"Well, I just wanted to say hi and introduce myself. Sorry to have interrupted… your…"

"Nap…" she blurted. "I was about to take a nap."

He raised a brow and looked at her curiously. "Uh-huh…"

"No… really I was. I just wasn't expecting the bed to be as soft as it is."

He chuckled and nodded his head. "Well. I'll let you get back to your nap then. You're going to need all the sleep you can get around her because between Kellen and Edward, you'll be lucky if you average 10 hours a week."

"What about you?"

Jasper just winked and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

"OH MY GOD!" She managed to whisper as quietly as she could before kicking her feet like a teenager. It had been three years since her husband's death and that had been the first sign of life she'd felt since then. Maybe it was time to put things to rest and move on.

* * *

Edward shuffled into the kitchen surprised to see Jasper with his head stuck in the fridge. "What are you doing here?"

Jasper snapped up to a standing position and smiled, holding his arms out to Kellen, who happily jumped away from his father into his "Uncle Jasper's" grasp. "Wondering why I didn't have a nanny that looked like that when I was growing up…" he said, motioning upstairs.

"Hmph…" Edward just frowned and grabbed some juice out of the fridge and a few crackers, setting them on the bar that separated the kitchen and living room.

Jasper watched him for a few minutes trying to gage his reaction as he sat Kellen on the counter and made googling noises at him. "I can't believe you Edward. You don't like her already and you haven't even given her a chance yet."

"Don't start with me, Jasper. I've got too much on my mind right now and the last thing I need it to worry about is Kellen being with some stranger all of the time…"

"She didn't seem strange to me. She's actually quite nice…" he shrugged in response.

Edward shook his head. "You just think she's hot. Where is she anyway?"

"Taking a nap. I told her it would be a good idea to get as much sleep as she could before you got home because between you and Kellen she's going to be worn out."

"So what are you doing here? I haven't seen you here in a few weeks."

Jasper looked at him blankly. "Just thought I'd come home and offer my support because I knew she wouldn't get any from you. Plus the season starts in a month. I just got back from visiting the family in Texas so I'm all stocked up on quality family time for the next few months." He took the cup of juice and bag of crackers that Edward had taken out, picked up Kellen then went upstairs to the nursery and put him on the floor and sat with him as he played with some cars and stuffed animals.

* * *

Bella woke to the sound of squeals coming from the nursery and before she could think twice she was out of the bed, running through the bathroom and to the doorway of Kellen's room.

She took a deep breath when she found Jasper lying on the floor with Kellen raised above him, giggling and squealing happily as Jasper made airplane noises and flew the little boy through the air. "I hope he hasn't eaten anything recently…"

Jasper looked around to see her watching him and sat up, sitting Kellen on the floor next to him. "Care to join us?"

She smiled and sat on the floor on the other side of Kellen. "I guess Edward's home?"

"Yeah," he said softly, handing Kellen his cup before looking at her. "Look, I know this isn't going to be easy…working for him, with Kellen. I just want you to know that I'm here. You know, to listen to you rant and rave at the unbelievable basta…"

"Hey!" she yelped, quickly covering Kellen's ears with her hands as the little boy began to laugh. "Language."

He blushed. "Sorry. I'm still working on that. Anyway… when you need to vent about Edward being a jerk… you know where I am…"

She smiled and nodded.

"I'm sure she's glad to know that…" Edward spoke from the doorway, his voice harsh but not quite angry. "Why don't you get out of here and let Bella do her job…"

Jasper rolled his eyes. "I'm playing with Kellen right now Edward, so why don't you go and let me do what I was doing before you decided to bring your dark cloud in…"

Bella watched the exchange between the two men briefly making eye contact with Edward before he turned and left the room. A few moments later they heard the front door slam.

"I really am sorry about him. He hasn't been himself since Paige died. None of us have."

She looked down at her hands not ready to see the pain that she'd heard in his voice. "I understand… were you two close?"

He gave a reminiscent smile and smoothed Kellen's hair back. "Paige was like a big sister to me. Always there to tell me when I screwed up and what I was going to have to do to fix it. And to Edward… she was his savior. I don't know what this year's going to be like without her but they got together at a time when his life was really starting to crumble, just after his dad died and I don't know if I can watch that happen again, especially, when he's got Kellen to think about."

"I'm sure he'll be fine. And I know he may seem hopeless right now but things will get better. It's definitely going to be a slow process and he'll never completely heal but…"

Jasper looked at her thoughtfully, his eyes narrowing slightly. "How do you know?"

"Because I've been there…"

He nodded, not saying another word. He'd ask Edward or Esme about it later but at that moment the last thing he wanted to do was rehash bad memories for her.

"What time is it?"

Jasper glanced at his watch quickly before looking back her in confusion. "Around 8…"

"Well, I'm going to give Kellen a bath and get him to bed. I'm not sure what time he normally goes to sleep but he needs a set schedule. Maybe we can get that started before we head to the track."

He nodded in agreement and helped her get his pajamas ready, showing her where everything was that she would need. "I'm going to let you do that… just remember. My ears are open…"

She smiled and nodded. "Got it…"


	5. Chapter 4

**AN: Here you go guys... update numero dos!**

**For those of you that don't know, just a little racing 411. A COACH is a motorcoach, rv, that sort of thing. Its a driver's home at the track.**

**Now... I'd also like to apologize to Kellen's girlfriend, it was me his was kissing on New Years. I'm so sorry! :P lol... yeah anyway. I'm kidding of course, though not by any fault of my own. And I have no problems with Kellen dating, I'm not under the delusion that I even exist in his world but I seriously don't get AnnaLynn McCord. He needs to be dating Ashley. That's just how it should be. Now that my rant has completed...**

**May I present...CHAPTER FOUR!**

**GO HORNS!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. All characters belong to the wonderful Mrs. Meyer and NASCAR is obviously property of Brian France and all such related entities.**Chapter Four

* * *

"_I can't believe you just did that!" Paige squealed looking down at her white blouse as it stuck to her skin, wet with soap from the bucket she'd been using to wash the car. "I'm going to kick your ass for that Eddie!"_

_He chuckled and propped his hands on his hips in a cocky manner. "I'd like to see you try. You couldn't kick my ass if it fell into your foot…"_

_"What?!" she giggled. "Really!? That was the stupidest thing I've ever heard come out of your mouth… So far…"_

"_Oh, so now I'm stupid?"_

_She cocked her head back at him. "That's not what I said and you know it."_

"_Yeah, well you know what… As soon as I catch your fine ass, I'm going to show you exactly how stupid I'm not…"_

_He took off at a run, laughing as she circled the car and ran towards the back of the house, exactly what he'd wanted her to do. "I've got you now Mads!" _

"_Don't call me that! Got me how?" she asked as she came to a quick stop and turned around, yelping as Edward picked her up and tossed her over his shoulder and walked to the edge of the pool. "Don't you dare, Edward Anthony!"_

"_Or what? What are you going to do?" _

_He reached up and grabbed her waist with both hands and prepared to throw her in, not expecting her to grab hold of his hands and pull him in as she went._

_They both surfaced, gasping for air in between their laughter and he quickly wrapped his arms around her, pinning her to the side of the pool. "I got you…"_

"_Now what are you going to do with me?"_

_Edward just smiled and leaned towards her, placing his lips on the sensitive skin of her neck, lightly sucking on her soft flesh._

"_Give her a chance Edward …"_

"_Huh?" He leaned back and looked into Paige's blue eyes. "What?"_

She cradled his face in her hands and gently trailed her thumb over his bottom lip. "Give Bella a chance… for Kellen…"

Edward sat up in bed, tossing aside the soaked sheets that stuck to his body then went into the bathroom to splash cold water on his face. It wasn't even midnight and already he was having dreams. It wasn't the first time he'd had them. Normally it was just a past memory, replaying in his mind. Tonight was the first time she'd said something to him that wasn't part of it.

That day in the pool had been the day that Kellen was conceived. He hadn't dreamed about that moment since she died and it hurt to know that not only was she gone but now Bella was invading the few fresh memories he had of her.

He growled as he threw open the bedroom door and stalked downstairs to the kitchen pouring himself a glass of milk, topping it off with a little whiskey. A little trick he picked up from his mother. It put him to sleep faster than anything else could.

"Can I get a double shot of that?"

Edward looked up to find Bella leaning against the bar, her hair in complete disarray and sticking up all around her head. "Can't sleep either?"

She shook her head and slid onto the closest stool, watching as Edward took out another glass, filling it with milk before adding the same amount of whiskey that he'd added to his.

"No double shot. You're supposed to be watching my kid…" he growled looking at her strangely when she gave a soft laugh. "What?"

"Why don't you like me?"

He watched her for a few moments, her brown eyes meeting his without falter before looking down at his glass. "It's not that I don't like you. I just don't trust you. I don't trust anyone with my son."

She shrugged. "That's understandable."

"It is?"

"Yeah, I mean from a parents standpoint it is. No one can be as good to your child as you can. No one can provide for him better than you. No one can love him as much as you. No one can protect him more than you."

He watched her quietly, surprised by the emotion that clouded her face as she continued.

"Look Edward I'm sure you already know this. I lost my husband about 3 years ago but I also lost my son. He was 5 months old. And no matter how much you protect them, or how much you love them and trust someone to take care of them when you can't…" she shrugged. "In the end they aren't yours, they're just on loan from God until he's ready to have them back, just like everyone else in this world. I love my son so much. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about him and wonder what he would look like now. I can't forget his smell. I can't forget the sound of his laughter. The way he felt in my arms…"

Sighing she rubbed her hands over her eyes as she continued. "I just want you to know that as much as this is a job for me… I want to help you keep your son safe and protect him the way I couldn't protect my own. I'm here to help you, not take your son away. And I'm not asking you to trust me, just to give me a chance to prove myself to you, that I'm fully capable of doing this. And maybe we can at least build a friendship out of it…"

Edward sighed and ran a hand through his hair then drained his milk. "I'm going back to bed… Make sure you shut off the lights before you go back up stairs." He placed his glass in the sink and left the room, leaving Bella behind.

She watched him disappear around the corner and stared out of the back window. "Got any more suggestions?"

* * *

"Jasper! Get your ass up! We're late!" Edward yelled, pounding on Jasper's bedroom door at 7 the next morning.

Bella groaned and rolled out of the bed, padding into the nursery to check on Kellen before Edward burst into the room. "Morning…" she muttered, backing away as he stepped between her and the crib.

She watched as he lowered the side enough to lean in and kiss Kellen's cheek. He brushed back his soft hair and smiled at the soft coos that he made as he slept. Slowly lifting the rail until it locked back into place he turned and walked from the room, leaving the door open as he went never acknowledging her presence.

She followed him out into the hallway, unable to hide her smile as Jasper tripped out of his room with his toothbrush hanging out of his mouth as he put on his shoes. "Hey…"

He greeted her as he threw back his head and stomped his foot down then bent to tie the lace. He took the toothbrush out of his mouth and ran down the stairs and out the front door, spitting on the lawn.

"Jasper! Stop doing that, it's disgusting…"

Bella shook her head as she watched them get into Edward's truck then shut the door, leaning on it for support. "What do I do now?"

* * *

"Bella?!" Esme called an hour later as she let herself into the house. "Bella?"

When she didn't answer she climbed the stairs and went to the nursery, finding the door open but Kellen wasn't in his crib. She walked through the bathroom to Bella's room and found her sleeping soundly with Kellen curled up at her side.

"Bella…" she whispered, smiling at how comfortable her nephew was with her.

She stretched her arms over her head and yawned, then opened one eye. "Oh… Esme… I'm… I'm just…"

Esme shook her head and smiled. "It's quite alright sweetie. I'm going to take Kellen downstairs. Why don't you get up and get a shower? I'm taking you shopping."

Bella sat up and shook her head. "I don't need to go shopping."

"Don't argue with me. I'm your boss… well sort of, and if I say I'm taking you shopping. Then I'm taking you shopping."

* * *

"So how's my brother treating you?" Esme asked as they drove through the parking lot trying to find a spot.

Bella gave a short laugh. "It hasn't gotten any better since we met, if that's what you're asking. We had a little talk or I talked. Neither of us could sleep so we both ended up in the kitchen. I tried to talk to him, thought I was getting through and in the end all I got out of him was 'turn of the lights before you go back to bed' and he didn't even acknowledge my existence this morning when he came into the nursery to kiss Kellen goodbye and I was standing right there."

Esme sighed. "I'm sorry. I wish there was something I could do to help or to get him to understand this but… I… it's just not happening. Just give him time."

"At least I have Jasper there. He's standing up for me and butting heads with Edward a little as well. It's just nice to know I'm not alone."

"Well, I think you've got Kellen on your side too," Esme added. "I'll be honest with you, aside from me, mama, Rose and Anne, he hasn't taken well to any women so consider yourself lucky. That worries me though, because if that baby has too much of his daddy's influence or Jasper's, we're all going to be in trouble."

"Who's Rose?"

Esme glanced over at Bella as she tried to maneuver the parking lot at the mall, searching for a parking place. "Rose is our half-sister. She's daddy's baby from his marriage to Anne. I'm sure you'll meet her soon enough. She idolizes Edward even though he's only a few years older than her and he will drop everything for her. I'm closer to him because we've never really been away from each other but Rosalie's been away at college for the last few years."

Bella laughed. "Well maybe she'll like me and can put in a good word for me with Edward. All I want is to take care of Kellen and do my job. I don't mind trying to help Edward through this either but I don't think that's going to happen. At least he's got friends and family and that's the one thing I didn't have. I was alone. He needs to at least appreciate that. At least he has Kellen. He still has a little piece of Paige."

"Well, sometimes my brother can be a selfish B-A-S-T-A-R-D."

"So I've been told… at least that he was one… not necessarily a selfish one."

"Jasper?"

"Jasper."

Esme noticed the small smile that came to Bella's face as Jasper's name was once again brought up. "You like him…"

"What?! No…"

"Yes, you do…"

"Who?

"Jasper…"

Bella waved her off and looked out of the passenger side window. "I do not…"

"He's single."

"Good for him… I've got a job to do…"

"He loves Kellen and I'm sure he'd be happy to help you with that job when he can…"

She turned sharply to look at Esme. "What exactly are you getting at?"

"I'm just saying… You're single. He's single. You both love kids…Kellen, to be precise. And it's about time you try to have a life… I know I don't know you that well, and I'm not trying to be presumptuous but…"

"Okay… Fine, I'll admit that I like him. And he's really the first guy that has peaked my interest since Jake died but I'm not going there. Not right now, anyway."

Esme pulled into a spot and turned towards Bella laughing. "I didn't say right now. I'm just letting you know there are options. Now let's go buy you plenty of clothes on my brothers money."


	6. Chapter 5

**AN: Well I guess I found out how many of you AREN'T READING MY AUTHOR'S NOTES!!! Pay very close attention to what I'm about to say.**

_**THIS IS AN EDWARD / BELLA FANFIC!!!!!!!!!**_

**I can't make it any simpler than that. There will be a hinting at Jasper/Bella in the beginning but please keep in mind that Edward's wife has died 3 months previous to when this story started. We're only a few days in. He's not ready to move on, he's closed off to any new people in his life at this time. Just be patient. I promise there will be no Jasper / Bella lemons (not that I have anything against them... I'm a huge J/B fan) but you have to bear with me. This story will jump forward weeks or months at a time in some cases because in all honesty I don't have the amount of words to write the time it will take Edward to get over the death of his wife.**

**ANYWAY... now that I'm done with that. Enjoy the next chapter please!**

**And remember to keep those votes coming in regarding White Flag. You have until Friday.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. All characters belong to the wonderful Mrs. Meyer and NASCAR is obviously property of Brian France and all such related entities.**

* * *

Chapter Five

"Where the hell have you been!?" Edward yelled, launching his assault the moment Bella walked through the front door. "Where's Kellen?"

She fought to blink back her tears as Esme walked in behind her with Kellen sleeping in her arms. "What seems to be the problem Edward?" she asked calmly.

He closed his mouth tightly, his jaw flexing as he held his temper in check. "I came home and my son was gone and there wasn't a note or any damn thing telling me where he was. That's my problem, Esme. How was I supposed to know she didn't take off with my kid?"

Esme rolled her eyes and handed Kellen over to Bella, who quickly went upstairs to put him in his crib before heading back downstairs. "She doesn't have a car Edward. How on earth is she supposed to take off with Kellen?"

"She can call a cab…"

"Um… Edward," Jasper called from behind him, clearing his throat as he handed him a piece of paper. "That was on the fridge… It's a note from Esme saying she was taking Bella…"

"I can read the damn note Jasper!" he snapped in response.

Jasper shook his head and slipped by Edward and Esme to grab his keys off of the table then took Bella's hand. "Why don't you watch Kellen for a while Edward, since you don't trust anyone else to do it… When you've straightened your ass up you can call me." He threw open the door and stormed out of the house with Bella in tow.

He opened the door of his truck for her to climb in then ran to the other side, quickly apologizing for Edward's behavior as he drove down the driveway towards the main road.

"I'm going to get fired…" she said softly, staring out of the window as the trees blurred by.

"He's not going to fire you, Bells. Anne would have his head on a platter if he did," he replied, as he reached into her lap to grab her hand, pulling it between them. He held it tightly in his as they turned down a dirt road about a half of mile from Edward's.

He pulled to a stop at the edge of a small lake and rolled down the windows, turning the radio on loud enough that they would be able to hear it from the bank and got out of the car.

She followed him trying not to stare at the way his butt looked in the well-fitted jeans he wore while he climbed over a large rock and turned to help her.

Once they reached the water's edge, he sat on fallen tree, patting the area next to him for her to join him.

"Welcome to the only place I know of around here where I can hide…"

She smiled. "Ah, but you can't hide anymore because now I know where it is…" she pointed out.

"Yes but you don't have a car…"

"I can walk…"

"Not on that road you won't." He added with warning then picked up a rock, standing up to skip it along the water. "Can I ask you something?"

Bella looked at him quickly before looking back out at the water. "I guess…"

"I didn't want to ask you, I was going to wait and ask Esme but last night you said you'd been through this before… What happened?" He watched her waiting for an answer but when it never came he regretted his prying. "I'm sorry… it was…"

"Three years ago, my husband, Jake and my son, Seth, were on their way to see me in the hospital after I'd had to have surgery. I'd been in and out of consciousness on heavy pain killers for most of the day, so my perception of time was a little off. I just remembered him calling as he left the house and then when I woke up a few hours later, they still weren't there. I asked the nurse if they'd ever come by and she just shook her head and ran out of the room."

"The next thing I know the doctor's telling me my husband and son had been brought into emergency a few hours earlier after an accident and neither one of them made it out."

She wiped the tears that she didn't realize had fallen until she tasted their saltiness on her lips.

"I'm so sorry. I knew I shouldn'…"

She shook her head. "It's okay Jasper. I just… I don't know, I guess that's why this whole situation with Edward upsets me so badly. At least he has a piece of Paige left, you know. I don't have my husband. I don't have my son. I'm just alone. And I can't have any more children."

Jasper looked down at his feet, mentally kicking himself for opening his mouth. "Is that why you were in the hospital?"

"Yes. I'd had complications when Seth was born…"

"You realize this just pisses me off at Edward even more, don't you?"

Bella gave a soft laugh. "You can't be pissed at him. He's going through a lot and until you're in that situation or have been in it before you can't begin to comprehend it. Don't be mad at him Jasper…" she reached over, casually resting her hand over his.

He stared at their hands before turning his over and threading his fingers through hers. "You're not alone ya know…"

She looked over at him, surprised that he picked up that part of her statement.

"Didn't think I heard that part did ya?" he smiled.

She laughed. "I tried to sneak it in there…"

"I mean it."

"I believe you."

Jasper gave a nod. "Good. Now come here…" He held his arm out as she moved closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder, smiling to herself as he wrapped his arm around her back.

* * *

"I can't believe what an ass you're being about this Edward," Esme groaned in frustration as she stalked into the living room and sat on the couch, mimicking her brother's movements as they both ran a frustrated hand through their hair.

Edward gave her an irritated look and turned his back to her, staring out of the window as Jasper's truck disappeared at the end of the drive. "I'm not being an ass, Esme. I'm just trying to protect my son."

"You're being an _ass_, Edward."

"DAMNIT ESME PUT YOURSELF IN MY POSITION!?" He spun on her, his face red with anger and his eyes brimming with fresh tears. "I'm not going to argue with you about this… He's my son and I'm going to decide what's best for him. And you'll have to excuse me for not being comfortable with leaving him with some woman that I don't know all of the time."

Esme watched him calmly, deciding what she was going to say. "Then why don't you spend some time with her. Get to know her. She's not a bad person, Edward. She's just been dealt some shitty cards to play with and you should know better than anyone what that's like. You've got family, friends… Kellen. Bella's alone. She's been alone in this for three years. It wouldn't kill you to try and be a friend to her."

"She's got friends. Jasper's eating out of her damn hand…"

"That's because Jasper can see her for who she is, unlike you."

He shook his head. " Jasper just wants to get in her pants."

"Don't you think you're being a little presumptuous, Edward?"

"No… I don't," he fell into the recliner at his side and ran a hand down his face. Leaning forward on his knees, he put his face in his hands and the tears finally started to fall. His shoulders shook violently as he let himself break down.

Esme choked back her own tears as she watched her little brother's heart break again. She crossed the room and knelt in front of him and wrapped her arms around him, rubbing his back as the sobs rushed over him. "It's okay, Edward…"

She absently rocked back and forth as she held him until he'd cried his last tear and wrapped his arms around her. "I'm so sorry Esme…"

"You've got nothing to be sorry for Edward …"

He sniffed and pulled away from her. "Yeah I do. According to Jasper, I've been an unbelievable bastard for the last few days and I hate to say he's right but…"

"Yeah, well, you do have a point there…"

"Hey!"

She smiled. "What?! I was just agreeing with you…"

"Jasper…"

"Okay Jasper. What's your point?" She smiled up at him. "Edward…"

"Yeah…"

"What exactly are you scared of? I mean with Bella… aside from the trust thing…"

He looked at the floor and scratched his head. "I'm afraid she'll try to take Paige's place in Kellen's life. I don't ever want him to not know who she was…"

Esme nodded. "I don't think she's going to do that Edward. But you at least need to talk to her like I said. You guys need to come to a happy medium because as much as you don't want help, you know you need it. And I'll tell you right now, Kellen's comfortable with her and he needs some stability."

"I know…"

"So what do you say?"

He looked at her, his red-rimmed green eyes even brighter from the tears as they met hers. "I'll do my best. I'm not making any promises."

"I'm not asking for anything more than making an effort Edward. I would never ask you to do anything that if I didn't think it was the right thing to do. When have I ever led you astray? It's my job as big sister to point you in the right direction and put a boot to your ass when you choose the wrong one."

"You're right."

"I know I am. That's what makes me so amazing."

Edward chuckled and wrapped his arms around his sister. "I love you Es."

"You too little brother, you too."


	7. Chapter 6

**AN: Alrighty peeps... this is still an **_**EDWARD / BELLA FANFIC!!!!!!!!!**_

**There's a little bit of J/B smooching in this chapter and I mean a lil bit... teeny tiny!**

**And before I post I would just like to say that I hope that Oklahoma beats Florida's ass. I just don't like them. And I've gotta stick with my conference. BIG 12 RULES! Now that I'm done with stupidity... enjoy****. I hope this isn't moving to slowly for you guys.**

**DON'T FORGET TO VOTE REGARDING WHITE FLAG!!! VOTING ENDS TOMORROW!**

_I'm still having trouble posting. I can go to every link on my homepage but My Stories so I'm getting a little pissy. It my be my computer or it may be Please let me know if any of you are having this problem so I can feel a little let stupid._

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. All characters belong to the wonderful Mrs. Meyer and NASCAR is obviously property of Brian France and all such related entities.**

* * *

Chapter Six

Three and a half weeks later…

"You ready?"

Bella continued to stare at the stack of clothes on her bed and her open suitcase, not bothering to look at Jasper. "No…"

He chuckled and walked into her room, sitting on the edge of the bed. "What's the problem?"

"I'm scared," she said softly, covering her face with her hands. "God, I'm so stupid."

Jasper shook his head and took her hands in his, pulling her until she stood in front of him, between his legs. "Look at me. You're not stupid. You're going to have a lot on you. I understand that, but you've just got to suck it up. I think you can handle it. After a week or so, you'll get into the groove of things and you'll relax."

She took a deep breath and ran a smoothing hand over her hair. "If you say so."

"I do." He stood up and pulled her into his arms placing a kiss against her forehead.

"When you two are done being all mushy, we need to get out of here," Edward called from the doorway rolling his eyes as Jasper flicked him off.

Over the last few weeks, he and Bella had made a truce of sorts. He would try to trust her and she'd do her job. He'd also agreed that whenever he was home to spend time with Kellen that she and Jasper could try to see where their budding relationship was heading.

Technically the only truce was on Edward's part. Bella hadn't changed her approach to what she was doing and though they never really sat down and had a heart to heart they did discuss Kellen and what they thought was best for him. Most of the time, they agreed. Other times they didn't and Edward's way won out.

"What do I need to wear?" Bella quickly asked as Jasper started for the door.

He shrugged. "Jeans and long sleeve t-shirt I guess. Just make sure there aren't any sponsor conflicting logos on them. I'll take your suitcase downstairs. I've already got Kellen's stuff so just grab his diaper bag and him on your way out and let's go."

She hurriedly changed into well-worn jeans and long sleeved navy blue t-shirt then slipped into Kellen's room. He was standing against the rail of the crib, bouncing up and down with excitement. "You ready to go bye-bye?"

He smiled and giggled as if he knew what was going on, fighting momentarily as Bella put his coat on him. They may be headed to Daytona but at that moment it was barely scraping the freezing point in Charlotte.

She picked him up, grabbing his diaper bag then hurried down the stairs and through the front door, smiling at Jasper as he followed her out, locking the door behind them. "Here goes nothing…" she said to herself, fastening Kellen into his seat before climbing in next to him in the back of the SUV.

"Are you ready?" Edward asked as he started the engine, casting an amused look at her in the rearview mirror.

Her eyes slightly widened and she shook her head, receiving a chuckle in response.

* * *

Bella opened her eyes as the plane descended over Daytona, cringing as her ears popped and she yawned.

"Ouch…"

She stretching her arms over her head and looked around to find Jasper watching her with a smirk on his face and Edward shaking his head. "Morning…"

"It's 3 in the afternoon, Bells. Did you even sleep last night?"

She looked at Jasper for a moment, unable to stop the yawn that started and shook her head. "Not really. I'm surprised you didn't hear me tossing and turning from across the hall."

The plane taxied to a stop and as soon as the door opened a flood of screams and yells filtered into the plane. She looked out of the window, her eyes widening in surprise at the number of people standing on the other side of the fence with Fender shirts and hats, posters of Edward and Jasper as well as numerous women that seemed to have forgotten half of their clothes.

She stood up to get Kellen taking his jacket off of him, knowing it would be too warm for him once they were outside. Slipping her purse and his diaper bag over her shoulder, she threw their jackets over her arm and picked up the giggling child.

"I'll take him…" Jasper said. "We might have to run and I don't want you tripping with him."

Bella smiled and turned to Edward. "Are we ready?"

He nodded and walked towards the door, stopping momentarily to put a hat on Kellen, doing his best to hide his child's face from the media. "We need to make a run for it guys. The cars about 20 yards away so be careful."

The moment he stepped foot through the door, the screams erupted and Kellen started crying. The three of them ran towards the waiting Suburban, Jasper and Edward, sliding into the backseat as Bella slid into the passenger's seat.

She turned around, watching as the two men fought with the complicated fastenings of the car seat while Kellen looked at them with amusement. "Move guys…" she propped herself up on her knee and turned towards the backseat, easily fastening him into his seat and smiled at the men. "It's not that hard."

Edward looked at her with mild irritation. "I wasn't at a good angle."

"I've never tried to fasten the damn…"

"Language!"

"Jasper!"

Edward and Bella snapped quickly once the word was out of his mouth.

"Man, I never in my life thought you'd yell at me for cussing…" Jasper chuckled at the flustered look on Edward's face. "Sorry. I've never fastened one of those before give me a break."

They rode in silence as they neared the track, all of them gazing on at the extensive fan base that was flocking towards the speedway.

Suddenly Jasper cracked up laughing, drawing Edward and Bella's attention.

"Sorry…"

Edward rolled his eyes and looked out of his window. "Are you going to tell us what that was about?"

Jasper just shrugged. "Some girl back there had a sticker on the back of her car that said _JWhit Madam_."

"So you're running an escort service?" Bella asked Edward with wide eyes, doing her best to not laugh at the surprised look on his face.

"The last I checked a ran a race team not a "service" group. She's probably just one of Jasper's crazed fans," he added watched Jasper for his response, knowing he got upset when Edward disrespected his fan base.

"Because you don't have any crazed fans?" Jasper shot back, slightly offended that Edward thought someone had to be crazed to be a fan of his.

"At least my fans have made it through puberty."

"At least my fans haven't hit menopause yet…"

"Boys…" she broke in. "Don't argue… Kellen just dozed off."

They looked at the sleeping boy between them and quickly closed their mouths, both of them looking like little boys that had been scolded.

As they turned into the track, Bella couldn't help but stare in awe at the magnitude of what she saw. Never in her life had she watched a race on television, much less been to a track and now she had to keep up with a one-year-old in this mess. "God help me…"

"Huh?" Edward asked from the backseat having barely heard the words fall from her mouth.

"Nothing…"

He slowly nodded his head and watched the people that had already set up camp outside of the track, thankful that Bella was in the front seat and they didn't have fans swarming the car like they normally did.

They slowed as traffic began to merge to pull into the tunnel towards the infield, every now and then someone would honk their horn, a natural reaction to their surroundings though no one was really quite sure where it came from. As the Suburban breached the end of the tunnel underneath turn 4 and pulled into the infield a gasp escaped Bella's lips. "Why didn't guys tell me this was a small city?"

Jasper laughed. "We didn't want to scare you."

"Gee thanks. A little warning would've been appreciated."

A security guard stopped them for ID, which he received when Edward cracked the back window and he and Jasper flashed their credentials at him. The man rolled his eyes and waved them in, like he really needed ID of two of the sport's most popular drivers.

They weaved through the outer campground before pulling into the driver's lot and coming to a stop between two identical coaches.

Jasper jumped out before Bella had a chance and opened her door for her, offering her his hand in assistance. "Milady…" he said with a bad English accent and a sloppy bow.

"Stick to your day job Whitlock…" she joked placing a quick kiss to his lips as he pouted at her.

Edward rounded the car with Kellen still sleeping in his arms and handed Bella a set of keys, pointing to the motor coach behind her. "That's yours. I'm here."

She and Jasper looked between the two coaches then back at Edward . "Um… Eddie . How's she supposed to tell which one's hers. They look just alike."

"No they don't. See the letters next to the door handle." The three of them walked over to the door and Edward pointed out the small ISB that was scrawled beneath the lock. "That's how you tell. Anyway. I'm going to take Kellen with me and let him finish his nap. I don't have anything scheduled tonight so I'm going to keep him with me and try to spend the last bit of time with him that I can before this weekend gets underway. If you want to take the rest of the day to look around and relax I don't mind…" he added giving Bella a quick nod before going inside of his coach and locking the door behind him.

"What was that?" she asked curiously.

Jasper just laughed and took the key from her hand, opening her coach and jumping in ahead of her. "Damn!"

"What?" She stepped on behind him, coming to a halt instantly. "Oh my God…"

"Yeah… this thing's nicer than mine."

They stepped aside as the driver entered with her bags and took them back to the bedroom. "Would you stop that? It is not."

"Yes it is! I swear your coach is an exact replica of Edward's, inside and out. And its common knowledge that he's got the nicest coach around here."

Bella walked back to the bedroom surprised by how roomy it was and began to unpack her clothes. "I'm sure it's only so Kellen has something familiar when he's here with me."

"Whatever you say, but just so you know, I'm staying here tonight…"

She closed the drawer she'd just dropped her underwear into and turned to find Jasper leaning against the door with his arms crossed and a smirk on his face. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me…" he said, walking closer to her. "I said I'm staying here tonight." He slipped his arms around her waist and pulled her against him, brushing soft kisses over her lips. "This'll probably be the only night you have off while we're down here and I want to take advantage of it."

She rested her forehead against his, sighing. "I'm not going to have sex with you Jasper."

He pulled away from her, forcing her to look him in the eye. "I didn't say anything about sex, Bells. I just want to spend some time with you. I haven't had the chance to do that much lately with all of the signings and promotional stuff we've had."

"But you said…"

"I just want to sleep here tonight, with you in my arms. Is that so wrong?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I mean we've never even been on a date and you want to spend the night with me? It just seems a little fast. I know we've gotten really close over the last couple of weeks but…"

Jasper turned away from her, walking back towards the door. "We're not going to have much time to spend together in while we're in Daytona. I'm sorry I even mentioned it. I just thought you'd enjoy it."

"I'm sorry…" Bella said softly. "I wasn't planning on having the night off and quite honestly I'd like to be alone. I haven't had that in a long time either."

"Fine. You know where I am if you need me…" he stepped out, slamming the door behind him.

She shook her head slowly and sat on the couch, taking a moment to look at her coach. This was nicer than any house she'd ever lived in and the thought of this being her home away from Edward's was really starting to sound good to her.

"Bella?"

She looked towards the door, smiling as Esme stepped inside. "Hey…"

"Hey. What's wrong with Jasper? He practically ran over me trying to get away from here…" Esme asked, obviously concerned that the budding relationship between the two of them was going to cause more problems than any of them were prepared to deal with.

Bella shrugged. "He wanted to spend the night because Edward gave me the night off and I want to be alone."

"Sorry…" she responded, sitting in the chair across from Bella. "I know it's none of my business but…"

"We aren't sleeping together. And when he said he wanted to spend the night he was talking about just that. Sleeping." Bella threaded her fingers through her long locks and groaned. "Am I being a bitch?"

Esme shook her head and smiled. "Not at all. You've got a child to take care of all the time and you rarely if ever get any time to yourself. I'd want to be alone as well. If Jasper's got a problem with it, he can either get over it or go fuck himself."

"Esme!"

"Sorry. Sometimes those guys are completely irrational. Jasper's problem is, he's not old enough to understand why people want to be by themselves. He's still in the 'gotta have a friend around' stage. If he doesn't have someone to keep him occupied he goes somewhere that he can find someone. I'm going to go. I was just going to make sure you guys got in and make sure you were comfortable. Is Kellen…" she pointed towards Edward's coach.

"Yup. Edward's spending time with him tonight since he'll be tossing him my way at the crack of dawn."

Esme smiled. "Well. Rest up. I'll see you later."

Bella watched her leave then stood to lock the door, not wanting people to run in and out of the coach the entire night then padded her way back to the bedroom. She slipped into a pair of plain white boy shorts and a tank top then crawled under the covers, completely disregarding the fact that it was only 4 in the afternoon. This might be the only sleep she got while she was in Daytona.


	8. Chapter 7

__

**AN: Okay guys. I know this is a short chapter but you best appreciate it because I've postponed my lunch to get it posted. **

**I'm gonna make this short and sweet because I'm hungry but I will be posting the prologue for White Flag today. And because the story isn't finished, I anticipate posting updates on FRIDAYS. No other days of the week. Fridays only. You're getting this story daily so I'm sorry for those of you who want that story now and you want all of it. Not gonna happen.**

**Anyhizzle... enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. All characters belong to the wonderful Mrs. Meyer and NASCAR is obviously property of Brian France and all such related entities.**

* * *

Chapter Seven

"Bella…"

She groaned and burrowed deeper into her sheets, trying to block out the light and the voice that kept repeating her name.

"Bella…"

"What…" She rolled onto her back with a groan and looked up into Edward's smiling face. "What are you…?" She frowned at the breeze she felt, realizing that her ass was uncovered and he was getting a wonderful view of her backside. "What are you doing here? Is Kellen okay?"

"He's fine." Edward chuckled as she shifted, pulling the sheets tightly around her as she sat up. "I was going to see if you wanted to go to dinner with us…"

"How did you get in?"

"Spare key. So you do want to go?"

She thought for a moment, realizing that Kellen wasn't with him. "Who's we?"

"Me, Kellen, Esme, Carlisle, and Karsyn."

"Jasper's not going?"

Edward shook his head. "No. Said he wasn't up for family time tonight, he was going out with a couple of the other drivers to some clubs."

She rubbed her eyes, slowly nodding her head. "Yeah. Give me about ten minutes."

He nodded and left the coach, locking the door behind him as he went.

Bella scratched her head and threw back the covers with more force than she'd anticipated. As much as she hated to admit it, she was pissed all to hell about Jasper. Just because she didn't want him to spend the night with her didn't mean she didn't want anything to do with him anymore.

Now he's off, most likely getting hammered with a bunch of other guys, all of them, no doubt horny and drunk.

But, if he wanted to be that way, it was his problem. She was here to work and being with Jasper had been an unexpected benefit, but it wasn't a necessary one and the last thing she was going to do was worry about it. She dampened her fingers in a meager attempt to tame her hair then opted to put it in a ponytail and grabbed baby blue bandana, tying it snuggly around her head.

She slipped on a pair of khaki cargos and a long sleeve white hoodie then stepped outside, grabbing her flip-flops on the way. "Is this okay or do I need to change?"

Esme smiled and nodded. "You're fine. We're just going to a little seafood place down on the beach. You're dressed perfectly."

Bella smiled and locked the door to the coach then took Kellen out of Edward's arms. "You look like Aunt Jemima…" he joked as she rolled her eyes in response.

The ride to the restaurant was quiet for the most part. Every now and then Karsyn would look at Edward then at Bella and ask if she was "Unca Eddie's new guwlfweind". Esme would just laugh and shake her head and Edward would look on in embarrassment.

They hurried into the restaurant as Carlisle dropped them off at the door and went to park. Edward asked for a table out of the way and two high chairs, receiving an odd look from the hostess. People still had trouble believing he was a father.

They were seated at a large round table in the back of the restaurant, quickly ordering their drinks and sending the waitress away.

Kellen sat in a high chair between Edward and Bella. Esme and Carlisle sat next to Edward. And Karsyn having decided in the car that Bella was her new favorite person was sitting next to her with a big smile.

Bella looked at the children surrounding her and did her best not to get choked up, but it wasn't easy. This was a fresh reminder of what she'd never have.

"So Bella, are you tired of working for Edward yet? Because we could use some help with Karsyn. The older she gets, the more like Edward she becomes. We're going to have to stop letting him spend so much time with her," Carlisle joked, having noted the sudden change in her demeanor.

She laughed and shook her head. "I haven't had much chance to get tired yet, unless you include babysitting Jasper. I think he's a bigger handful than Kellen… or Edward."

Esme laughed and patted Edward on the back. "So you're finally growing up, baby brother. I'm proud of you."

"Shut up Es."

"Oh!" Karsyn gasped from her seat, quickly slapping her hands over her mouth. "Unca Eddie say shut up…"

Everyone looked at Edward, doing their best to look at him like he'd done something wrong but the look on Karsyn's face was making them all laugh.

He hung his head and slowly shook it. "This is going to be a long night…"

* * *

Jasper squeezed through the crowded bar, trying his best to keep up with Tyler Crowley and James Hunter, two of his fellow Nationwide drivers, both known for their excessive partying and playboy ways. After storming out of Bella's coach, he'd been dead set on going to his coach and drinking himself into a stupor. Unfortunately, he'd run into the two of them along the way and they'd managed to talk him into going out and having some fun.

But he wasn't.

All he could think about was what an ass he'd been, storming out the way he had. The really sucky part was, he understood why she wanted to be alone. For the last three and a half weeks, she'd been living with him, Edward and Kellen and never had a moment to herself.

She was either taking care of Kellen or hanging out with him. On top of that, she'd practically taken on the role of maid and was doing everything around the house. Not that she'd been told to, but it was something to keep her busy. She always kept herself busy.

He hadn't really thought about it up until now but maybe that was her way of keeping her mind off of her loss. On rare occasions he would look at her and the light would be gone from her eyes and this blank look would blanket her face and for a few minutes, there was no way anyone could break through.

Then in an instant, it would be gone.

"Hey Jasper!"

"Earth to Jasper…"

He shook his head, focusing on James and Tyler, who'd stopped a few feet in front of him. "Yeah?"

"What's going on with you man? You're in a room full of hunnies and you're standing here like an old fart…" James said, receiving a raised brow from Tyler and frown from Jasper.

"Just not really in the mood for this, I guess. I probably shouldn't have come."

Tyler sighed heavily. "You're not leaving. Go out there and find some chick to dance with."

Jasper watched as Tyler and James did exactly that, then turned around and found an empty booth in the back of the bar. After ordering a beer, he casually watched people, some dancing and laughing, some crying in their beers, some fighting. And then there was him. Hanging in limbo, not knowing what his problem was.

"Mind if I join you?"

He looked up into a smiling face. "Sure…" he shrugged, watching at the woman bounced into the booth across from him.

"Hi, I'm Alice," she said cheerfully, reaching across the table to shake his hand.

"Jasper."

She leaned forward crossing her arms on the table as the waitress placed his beer in front of him and ordered a coke waiting until she left to start her conversation. "Why are you sitting in the corner?"

He raised his eyebrows at her and crossed his arms over his chest. "Why are you sitting in the corner with someone you don't know?"

She shrugged and smiled. "I know who you are. I just want to know why you're sitting in the corner by yourself while you're friends are out there having a good time. Not to mention there are a dozen half dressed women that haven't been able to take their eyes off of you since the moment you walked through the door."

"Do you always bug people that you don't know in bars about why they're not having a good time?"

Alice shook her head. "Nah. You're special."

Jasper took a swig of his beer, watching her closely before saying anything else. She wasn't like any of the other girls in the bar. She was wearing a plain white t-shirt and an old pair of blue jeans, her hair black and cut close to her head sticking out in all directions and she didn't have a stitch of make up on. She was damn adorable. But seeing how she was drinking a coke, he was pretty sure she wasn't twenty-one and that immediately set her off limits.

"Why I am special, Alice?"

A big smile stretched across her face. "Because you're the only one with a girl on his mind that isn't out there trying to get laid by the first thing that throws itself at him."

"I don't have a girl…"

"Yeah ya do. It's written all over your face. It's why you're sitting here, by yourself instead of having a good time."

Jasper just shook his head. "Well what am I supposed to do about it? I was stupid and immature. She's probably pissed at me, for good reason. How am I supposed to fix that?"

"What'd you do wrong?"

"I didn't understand. She wanted to be alone. I wanted to be with her. I got pissed and took off."

She appeared to be thinking quietly to herself before a smile escaped her lips. "You go back to her with flowers and chocolate. Tell her you're an immature ass and you'll be there when she's ready for you. You kiss her and you go home. Maybe even throw in a book to read for good measure. Something she can do by herself."

Jasper slowly blinked, staring at her. "Wanna tell me how I'm supposed to do that? I don't have a car. If I go into any store around here, I'm going to get mobbed…"

"I'll do it…"

"Huh?"

She stood up and tossed some money on the table for her coke and his beer and grabbed her purse. "Come on…"

He watched as she pushed her way through the crowd, stopping to talk to a girl that was dancing with James before turning around and waving for him to follow.

The moment her back was turned he picked her money up off of the table and slipped it into his pocket, and flagged down the waitress. "These drinks are on Crowley's tab…" he said as she smiled and nodded, then sashayed away.

"Jasper, where ya goin?" Tyler yelled as Jasper passed by.

"I'm outta here…"

"She looks a little young man…"

Jasper shook his head and waved him off. "I didn't ask you…"

He walked out of the bar to find Alice getting into her car. The very car he'd seen earlier that day. "JWhit Madam?"

She blushed. "Yeah…"

He chuckled and shook his head. "Are you sure this isn't some evil attempt to have me at your mercy?" he asked as he got into the car.

"Not yet. If things don't work out with your girl… then I'll make my move." She winked at him and started the car.

"How old are you anyway?"

"Eighteen."

Jasper rolled his eyes. "You have proof of that?"


	9. Chapter 8

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Chapter Eight

Bella strolled quietly with Edward from Carlisle and Esme's coach towards his. Kellen had fallen asleep the minute she'd gotten him out of the car and at the risk of waking him, Edward had let her hold onto him until they made it back to the coach.

"So… what's going on with Jasper tonight?" he asked slowly, not sure he should be asking about what appeared to be a touchy subject.

She cast him a sideways glance over Kellen's head and rolled her eyes. "He's an immature… He wanted to stay with me tonight and I wanted to spend some time alone. I haven't had much since I started working for you and I'm sure you understand how sacred that time is."

Edward nodded. "Yeah, why didn't you tell me that when I woke you up? You didn't have to go with us…"

"It's alright… I needed to eat. I don't really cook when I'm the only one eating so I would've probably had crackers or cereal for dinner. If I hadn't gone with you I wouldn't have had those amazing crab claws…"

He laughed at the tone her voice took. "Crab claw fan?"

She nodded. "Only seafood I like but I make such a pig out of myself when I have it, I don't have room for anything else."

"Well. Give Jasper some time. He has his mature moments maybe he'll have one soon and apologize to you."

They slowed as they reached their lots and he unlocked the door and opened it, stepping aside for her to walk in. "His cribs in the bedroom…" he said softly, smiling as Kellen burrowed his face deeper into her neck. Following her into the room, he slipped by them and turned on the light so she could see where she was going.

She gently placed him in the crib and pulled up the side, slowly locking it into place without much noise.

Bella smiled as she watched him lay there, his small hands curling and uncurling as his breathing quickened and she could see his eyes moving back and forth through his closed lids. "Little guy's having a heck of a dream…" she said softly receiving a chuckle from Edward.

"I wonder what he dreams about?" he replied as he joined her unable to hide his smile. "Lollipops and Tonka trucks?"

"Maybe…" she backed away and started through the coach back towards the door. "I'm going to go. I've got a lot of sleep to get tonight. I have a feeling that might be all I'm going to get while I'm here."

Edward followed and shook his head. "No. You'll get plenty of rest. I'm not that much of slave driver."

She just shook her head and laughed. "Not yet. Good night Edward …"

"Bella…"

She stopped before opening the door and turned to look at him, surprised that he seemed nervous. "Yeah?"

"I just want you to know that… well I'm really sorry for how I behaved when you first started working for me. I…"

"You don't have to apologize Edward. I've been there, remember."

"Yeah. But I do have to. You've been great with Kellen, you've been good to Jasper… a little too good, but nonetheless, you've taken on more responsibility than I ever expected you to. I just want you to know I appreciate it and I'm glad you're here. And looking back on it, I don't know what I would've done without you around."

Bella smiled and walked towards him surprising him as she pressed her lips to his cheek. "Thank you Edward. That really means a lot to me. Good night."

"Night."

She stepped off of his coach and started towards her own, surprised to find Jasper knocking on the door with a bouquet of lilies in his hand. "Jasper?"

He jumped turning around in surprise. "I thought you were staying in…"

"Well, I've got to eat. I thought you were out clubbin' with the boys…"

"Edward told…"

"Yeah. I asked about you when he invited me to dinner."

"You had dinner with Edward?" he asked skeptically.

"And Esme and Carlisle and the kids," She added, noticing the jealous tone in his voice she smiled to herself.

"You guys have fun?"

Bella smiled. "Yeah, we had a great time. Karsyn gave all of us a lesson in appropriateness and we all laughed. And I had the best crab claws ever!"

Jasper laughed and shook his head. "Look. I'm sorry about earlier. I realize that you've done nothing but take care of a bunch of guys for the last month and you're used to being by yourself. All I can tell you is that I really just wanted to be with you and spend some quiet time together. We've never done that and I don't know when we ever will get the chance. So I'm sorry. I was selfish and I won't do it again."

He held the flowers out to her and she took them, immediately raising them to her nose. "They're beautiful…"

"Thanks…"

"So you went in a store and bought them all by yourself?" she asked, raising her brow. "In Daytona during Speed weeks?"

"Okay! You don't have to be that way. A friend of mine ran in and got them and then she brought me back here and dropped me off."

She couldn't contain her smile at the frustration in his voice. "A she friend? Hmm… that's interesting."

"No, Bells. It's not even like that. She's barely 18. I'm still not convinced she is. She wouldn't show me her license."

Bella shook her head and walked past him towards her coach. "I don't believe you Jasper."

"Bells, please…"

"What?"

"Can we talk? Don't get mad at me about this too…" he whined, sounding more like a toddler than a twenty-five year old man.

She stepped onto the first step and turned to face him, looking down into his pleading blue eyes. "Jasper…"

"Yeah?"

"I'm not mad at you about this or earlier. I just want to spend some time by myself for the rest of the night okay?"

He frowned and slipped his arms around her waist, pulling her against him, resting his chin against her chest as he looked up at her. "Then why are you walking off and acting like I'm in trouble?"

"Because I think it's funny how flustered you're getting trying to tell me about your friend." She kissed his forehead and pulled out of his embrace. "Goodnight."

"Night…" he muttered softly in return then turned around to find Edward leaning against the side of his coach smiling.

"So you have a new she friend?"

"Kiss my ass Edward." Jasper bit back. "But yes I do. She rescued me from Tyler and James and brought me back so I could apologize."

"Sounds noble…"

Jasper shrugged. "Well, she said if things didn't work out between me and Bells, she had other plans for me."

"Well, what's her name? I might want to meet her."

"Her name is Alice. And she's barely legal. Not to mention she's JWhit Madam, so I doubt she'd want your old ass."

"I'm only thirty Jazz."

"Exactly."

* * *

At eight the next morning Bella put on a t-shirt and pair of overalls before slipping on her flip-flops and stepping out of her coach. Squinting in the bright sunlight she pulled her hair into a ponytail and slipped on her sunglasses.

"Where are your creds?" Esme asked as she walked up with Karsyn in tow.

"Crap…"Bella laughed. "I knew I forgot something." She stepped back inside of the coach and grabbed her credentials off of the coat hook inside the door and stepped back outside, locking the coach behind her. "Where's Edward?"

"Probably still sleeping, that's why I'm here… Karsyn, go hold Bella's hand while I get Uncle Eddie out of bed…" She opened the door and went inside quietly, followed a few moments later by a bunch of groaning and Kellen's quiet sobs then she called back for Bella. "Come on in."

Bella walked to the door stepping back to allow Karsyn in first then followed her up, closing the door behind her. She looked back in the bedroom where Esme was changing Kellen's diaper then looked down at the little girl at her side. "What are you giggling at?"

"I see Kel's bottom…" she said softly, quickly clamping her tiny hand over her mouth.

"Here you go Ms. Bella…" Esme smiled, handing Kellen over to her. "Alright, well Karsyn and I are going to go see her daddy really quick then head to the play center so just keep an eye out for me, okay."

Bella watched Esme leave and sat on the sofa with Kellen in her lap.

"Morning…" Edward grumbled from the kitchen.

She smiled and turned towards him, nearly choking as he stood there in nothing more than boxers while he scratched at his sleep-styled hair. "Mo…Morning…"

"You want something to eat?"

"Nah. I'm good. Had cereal and toast with a nice big glass of oj," she said cheerfully.

He squinted as he looked at her. "Why are you this perky at eight in the morning?"

"Cause it's eight in the morning…"

"How long have you been up?"

"Since six."

Edward's eyes widened and he shook his head in amazement. "Alright then." He poured himself a bowl of cereal and fixed a glass of milk then slid into the booth across from her.

"Does Kellen have some cereal or something around here?"

He casually hit his forehead with the heel of his hand. "Sorry. It's over the stove. You'll have to forgive me, Bella. I've got this ritual, these motions I go through at the track whether I'm racing or not and it's going to take some getting used to.

"It's quite alright," she replied with a smile. "Do you mind holding him for a minute?"

He took Kellen out of her hands. "There's a high chair in the closet in the bedroom too. God I'm going to have to write this stuff down."

Bella went back into the bedroom and got the high chair out, setting it up at the end of the table next to Edward and went back to get him some cereal as Edward put him in the chair.

"Do you mind if I call you Bells like Jasper does or is it some kind of pet name that I don't need to interfere with?"

Laughing as she fixed Kellen's food she just shook her head. "No, there's no significance to it. Its fine."

"Good. Not that Bella isn't a beautiful name but its two syllables is too many this early in the morning. I would imagine it would be during sex too…"

She put the bowl in front of Kellen and slowly sat down casting Edward and odd glance.

"Sorry. I'm not thinking of you in a sexual way I was just saying when you call someone's name out during sex Bella would be a mouthful…" Edward blushed and quickly stuffed a large spoonful of cereal into his mouth.

"Good idea…"

He watched her feeding Kellen while he ate, staring a little too long at the slender column of her throat and the slight upturned tip of her nose.

He smiled at her and took the last bite of his cereal then walked into the kitchen more like a bowlegged toddler than a grown man as he stumbled a few times. "Let me go get dressed and I'll show you around before I have to work."

Just as the bedroom door closed, the door to the coach flew open and Jasper bounced inside. "Morning Bells…" he sang, leaning over to kiss her quickly before pressing a light kiss to the top of Kellen's head. "Where's Eddie?"

"Getting dressed…"

As soon as the words came out of her mouth Edward walked back out of the bedroom, still in his boxers and grabbed his glass of milk off of the table before returning without a word.

Jasper looked at Bella. "Has he been in his boxers the entire time you've been here?"

"Uh-huh."

He shook his head and frowned. "That's just not going to work…"

Jasper stood up and walked back to the bedroom, not bothering to knock as he charged in and closed the door behind him. "What the hell are you doing?"

Edward looked at him in confusion as he zipped up his jeans and tucked in the front of his white sponsor polo. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"You! Walking around in front of Bells in your boxers… it's not appropriate."

Edward rolled his eyes and grabbed his wallet and keys then walked out of the bedroom with Jasper close on his heels. "Would you let it go, it's not what you think… I just woke up and came in here to eat. I didn't think twice about it."

"Well think twice next time…" Jasper shot back then pushed by him and out the door leaving a very confused Bella in silence.

"Am I causing a problem?"

"No… Jasper's overactive imagination is. Now let's go." Edward picked up Kellen and followed Bella out of the coach, locking the door behind him. "Entirely too overactive…"

****

AN: Alrighty people... Jasper's maturity is about to rear its ugly head. Just fair warning. It's not horribly bad but just enough to get on people's nerves. I know you love me don't you.

**On with the update! And on a side note... there's a new episode of The Big Bang Theory tonight and I'm excited. Sheldon Cooper rocks my socks off! He's just awesome!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. All characters belong to the wonderful Mrs. Meyer and NASCAR is obviously property of Brian France and all such related entities.**

**Anyway... if you haven't read it yet the prologue to White Flag is posted and updates will be made on Fridays while I attempt to finish the story. Or start it. I've gotten a few chapters written but not a lot. This story will continue to be updated daily so you can still love me for that.**

* * *


	10. Chapter 9

_**AN: Enjoy... I feel like crap so I'm not giving much of a note today. **_

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. All characters belong to the wonderful Mrs. Meyer and anything else belongs to NASCAR.**

* * *

Chapter Nine

Bella followed Edward through throngs of people that stood around the garage area. Some of them belonged there but most were fans and the moment Edward came into view the cameras came out and flashes started going off.

He pulled Kellen's hoodie tighter around his face, not wanting pictures of his son plastered all over the internet then slowed slightly for Bella to catch up with him.

"Is it always like this?"

He took a deep breath and rolled his eyes, his jaw flexing in irritation. "Yeah but I haven't had Kellen here before so that's just another added irritation. I don't want my son's picture all over the place because I can guarantee you someone's going to try to take him and I will die before I let that happen."

"So I guess I need to keep him covered when I'm with him outside?"

Edward nodded his head. "Jasper's got him a little Realtree hat that he wears most of the time so if he just keeps that on, pulled down low it'll be alright. Plus not a lot of people know you so maybe they won't catch on." He slowed as they reached the 80 garage and he passed Kellen over to her. "Hold him for a few minutes I've gotta explain some issues I've been having with this car."

She nodded, taking Kellen out of his arms as the child quickly latched onto her neck. He placed a wet kiss on her cheek and she laughed at him, wiping the slobber away with the sleeve of his sweatshirt. "That was gross, Kel Kel…" she cooed making the child giggle exposing the beginnings of two tiny teeth in the center of his bottom gum.

"Bells…" Edward called waving her over towards another garage stall where he stood with a man with spiky blond hair. "This is Mike Newton… Mike this is Bella Black, Kellen's nanny."

Mike held out his hand shaking hers firmly when she took it. "Nice to meet you…" he said a hint of question in his voice as he looked her slowly up and down causing Bella to wonder if he was slightly slow.

"You too..."

"Wow…" he curled his mouth in flirty smirk. "I hope you're taking good care of Mr. Kellen…"

"Absolutely."

Mike patted Kellen on the head and slapped Edward on the back then walked away.

"He's peculiar," she said softly not realizing she'd been heard.

Edward laughed and shook his head. "Mike's unique that's for sure but he's the best walking billboard there is. Granted his father's company is his main sponsor so what better advertisement is there."

She nodded slowly and followed him to a large hauler with chairs set up outside and Edward's face on the side of it. He slid open the door and stepped up motioning for her to follow then he closed the door behind her. "Wow…"

"This is where I relax before a race when I'm not in the coach." He opened a few cabinets and the refrigerator. "If you get hungry or anything, I've got it right here. Don't bother asking for anything just take what you want. And if you'll come back here."

She followed him down the length of the hauler and walked up a few stairs to see a small room with a television and couch.

"So this is it… You've seen my coach, the garage, and my hauler. All that's left is the inside of my car and you really have no need for that."

"Nice." Bella replied as she shifted her weight back and forth, trying to even out the burden Kellen was putting on the right side of her body.

"I'll take him for a little while," Edward jumped in, noticing she was uncomfortable. He pried Kellen out of her arms and flopped down on the couch with him. "You can sit down if you want…"

She sat next to him, putting a bit of distance between them then turned to lean her side against the back of the couch and pulled her right leg up under her, watching Kellen play with Edward. She had no idea how Edward thought he would be able to hide Kellen's identity because the child looked just like him except for those big blue eyes.

Edward glanced at her quickly, wondering why she'd gotten so quiet and she seemed to be off in her own world. That's when he noticed the light bruising near the collar of her t-shirt and the soft wet sheen that covered it and shook his head, turning to his son. "Starting early aren't you?"

"Huh?"

"Kellen gave you a present…" he said motioning towards her throat.

Bella frowned and pressed her hand to her neck once again coming in contact with Cullen slobber. "Ugh… Did he get his slobbering problem from you?"

She shifted and turned to look in the mirror behind the couch and her eyes widened in surprise. "I've been given a hickey by a one year old."

Edward laughed and held his hand up to Kellen. "Give me five, son…" He picked up Kellen's tiny arm and pressed his little hand against his. "That's my boy."

"Geez… you Masen's start young don't ya…"

"Haha." He laughed, ruffling the light auburn fuzz on Kellen's head. "Just make sure Jasper knows I'm not the Masen that did it. He about knocked my head off this morning."

" Why? What happened?"

"I was wearing boxers. And I was wearing them around you."

She rolled her eyes. "Oh my Lord. It's not like it's the first time I've seen you in them. And I've seen him in boxers…"

"See that's the problem. You're allowed to see him. Not me."

Bella just leaned her head back and closed her eyes. "You boys need to grow up. I'm a twenty-eight year old widow, I'm not playing games. And I'm pretty sure I've got more than enough self control not to jump you just because you're in boxers."

"Well why not!? I look damn fine in my boxers woman…"

"Watch your language around the baby…"

* * *

Jasper had been searching for Bella for the last few hours. He'd checked the play center, the garage, Edward's hauler, Edward 's coach and he'd knocked on her door for a good ten minutes but she hadn't answered. So he found himself walking in circles, signing autographs, posing for pictures and just waiting for her to catch his eye.

"So did it work?"

"Huh?" Jasper was pulled from his search by a tug at his elbow and the upturned smiling face of the previous evening's accomplice. "Alice?"

"Wow, you remembered my name. I'm honored." She gave him a soft punch in the arm and followed his gaze into the distance. "What are you looking for?"

"Bella."

"You lost her?" She squealed in surprise.

Jasper looked down at the woman that didn't even come close to reaching his shoulder and shook his head. "The black's not real is it? I guess you're a natural blond?"

"Huh?"

"Nevermind you're proving my point. No I didn't lose her, the last time I saw her was at Edward's coach earlier and I haven't been able to find her sense."

Alice shrugged and rolled her eyes as a young woman with tight jeans and even tighter shirt approached them, her eyes raking over Alice with bitter distaste. "I'll help. I don't have anything to do right now."

"Why are you here anyway?" Jasper smiled at the young woman and signed her program thanking her before he turned to face Alice.

"Ali!"

They turned to find Emmett Brandon, another driver best known on the circuit for his monstrous size and temper but best known by female fans as swoon worthy with his short dark brown curls, crystal blue eyes and ever present dimples, jogging towards them. "Emmett…"

"Ali…"

"Emmett."

Jasper looked between them in confusion before throwing in his two cents worth. "Jasper."

Emmett cast him a confused glance and shook his head. "What'd you do with the times from our practice session down here?"

"I gave them to Eric after we practiced. Tell him to look in the hauler where he normally keeps his clipboard. They're in there."

"K…" Emmett continued watch the two of them and rested his hands on his hips before looking at Jasper suspiciously. "What are you doing talking to my baby sister?"

"Your sister?"

"That didn't answer my question."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Shut up. He's trying to find his girlfriend."

"What's the got to do with you?"

"Emmett. Go away. I don't need you playing big brother right now, alright. I can handle myself."

"Yeah… you'd like to handle him yourself. Let's go."

Alice rolled her eyes at him and looked at Jasper. "Sorry. I'll see you around." She stalked off behind Emmett leaving Jasper to stare after them in amusement.

"Jasper!"

He turned around and saw Bella waving at him as she pushed through a crowd of onlookers. "Hey…" she kissed him quickly and waited for him to say something about her neck. She wasn't going to hide it because that would probably make him angrier and even more wary.

"Hey," he smiled back slipping his arms around her waist and pulling her against him. "Where's Kellen?"

"I left him napping with Edward."

He took her hand and started towards the drivers' lot. "Does that mean you have the rest of the day free?"

"I do until Edward needs me to take Kellen. I'm not sure when that will be."

When they got back to her coach, he took the key from her and unlocked the door and followed her inside immediately pushing her against the wall once they'd cleared the stairs. Before she knew what was going on, his lips were crushing against hers as his tongue plunged the depths of her mouth.

He pulled back and looked into her dark eyes, her need mirroring his for the first time since they'd began "seeing" each other a few weeks ago. He peppered kissed along her jaw then down the column of her throat before a dark mark at the hollow of her throat caught his eye.

Jasper stepped back from her and his eyes narrowed angrily. "What the hell is that?"


	11. Chapter 10

__

_**AN: I still feel like poop. I would just like everyone to know that. On top of my stomach aching since Saturday, I now have some lovely sinus problems and my eyes are so watery the computer screen is in dream focus. Hope you enjoy. Jasper's ugly head (not the one on his shoulders or between his legs) rears yet again. This is going to pick up once they leave Daytona, I promise. It won't be much longer. **_

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. All characters belong to the wonderful Mrs. Meyer and anything else belongs to NASCAR.**

* * *

Chapter Ten

"What the hell is that?"

Bella watched Jasper's eyes narrow accusingly and frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"That," he growled pointing at her neck, just above the collar of her shirt.

She rolled her eyes and pushed past him to the bedroom. "It's not what you think. And since you're so quick to accuse me, you can get your ass out of here."

"It looks like a fucking hickey, Bells. How can it not be what I think it is?"

She whirled around to face him with her eyes flashing. "Because it wasn't given to me by Edward which I sure as hell know is what you're thinking. What's your problem Jasper? Why are you getting so jealous all of sudden?"

Jasper rubbed his hands over his eyes and leaned back against the wall. "I can't help it alright. I know Edward when he sets his sights on something he gets it. Nothing gets in the way of that."

"Edward doesn't want me. His wife just died. And did you ever think that I don't want Edward? Just because he was walking around in his underwear earlier doesn't mean I want to jump him now okay. It's not the first time I've seen him that way and it won't be the last I assure you. I live with him. I live with you. Things like that are going to happen."

He sighed in surrender. "Well how am I suppose…"

"You should trust _me_…" she said slowly through clenched teeth, stepping up to him so that very little space separated them. "I'm not going to be with you if you can't trust me, Jasper. I'm going to be around Edward a lot. I have to be, he's Kellen's father but that doesn't mean anything. As for the hickey, Kellen fell asleep while I was holding him and apparently was sucking my neck while he did it. I didn't even realize it until Edward pointed it out to me later and high-fived Kellen for starting at such an early age. Now are you going to go kick Kellen's ass?"

Jasper bit his bottom lip and looked down at their feet. "You got a hickey from a one year old?"

"Shut up, smart ass… God help when he gets older if he's started this young."

Before she had a chance to stop him, his arms slipped around her waist and lightly nibbled on the side of her neck.

"I'm not forgiving you that easily Jasper…" she said as she leaned her head to the side, giving him better access.

He grinned against her hot skin. "Okay baby… whatever you say…"

They backed towards the bed, falling onto it when Bella's legs hit the mattress in a tumble of limbs. Jasper rolled onto his back, pulling her on top of him as he managed to unlatch one side of her overalls.

"I mean it," she repeated, pulling his bottom lip into her mouth as she straddled him and took his hands in hers, pinning them over his head. A smirk pulled at her lips and she leaned back to look down at him. "Close your eyes."

"Why?"

"Cause I said so…" she warned, crossing her arms over her chest as she waited.

He slowly closed his eyes and relaxed into the down comforter. "Now what?"

"Just be still…" She scooted back off of the bed and stepped into the bathroom, quickly grabbing her robe. "Keep your eyes closed."

Bella watched him carefully as she walked around the side of the bed and pulled the belt out of the robe before dropping it in a nearby chair. Smiling to herself she looped the silk belt through the rung at the top of the head board and with her other hand grabbed Jasper's hands and wrapped the thick fabric around his wrists.

"Bells…What are you doing?" He asked quickly, panic evident in his voice.

"Don't talk Jasper…"

She secured the fabric tightly and stepped back, watching as he struggled against it.

"Bella? Seriously, baby. What are you doing?"

"Teaching you to trust me…" she replied matter-of-factly then without another word turned and walked through the coach. She grabbed her credentials, her sunglasses and slipped on her flip-flops then stepped off, slamming the door loudly behind her.

"Bells? Bella? BELLA!?!??!?!?" Jasper called after her to no avail as he opened his eyes and looked down the length of the empty coach. "Mother fucker! BELLA!?!?!"

* * *

Edward woke with Kellen curled at his side and the late afternoon sun streaming lazily through the room.

He put pillows on either side of Kellen to keep him from rolling off of the bed then quietly made his way to the kitchen to get something to drink. What he wasn't expecting to find when he got there was Bella sound asleep on the couch in the living room.

He frowned then hurried back to the bedroom to put Kellen in his crib before he stepped outside, closing the door quietly behind him and started for Jasper's coach only to be stopped when he heard a noise coming from Bella's.

Surprised to find the door unlocked, he stepped inside and followed the noise back towards the bedroom. He flipped on the light and did his best to contain his laughter at what he saw. "What the hell did you do to piss her off?"

"Go fuck yourself Edward …" Jasper bit back. "Untie me."

Edward started towards him but quickly stopped. "Wait a minute. Why are you tied up in the first place? I don't want her mad at me if this is what she does to people."

"I got jealous…"

"Oh geez, man. Please tell me you didn't get jealous over the hickey Kellen gave her…"

"I didn't know he did it!"

Edward shook his head and untied him. "I don't believe you. Jealousy is one way to push a woman away. It's not attractive."

"I can't help it Edward."

Edward sighed and sat on the foot of the bed watching Jasper closely. "Are you in love with her?"

"I think so. Hell I don't know. I'm not sure I even know what love is but just the thought of her with someone else makes me crazy."

"Someone else or me?"

Jasper watched Edward through narrowed eyes. "Edward, you're my best friend man…"

"But you don't trust me around Bella."

"No."

Edward nodded and stood up turning away from Jasper. "She's asleep on the sofa in my coach. I'm going for a walk."

* * *

Edward sat in Emmett's coach watching the weather channel. "You know, if Jim Cantore's in your neighborhood, you need to leave…"

Emmett shook his head, chuckling. "No shit… That's gotta be hell on the ego though."

"You'd think."

"Edward? Why are we watching the Weather Channel?" he asked curiously. From the moment Edward had shown up he'd been sitting in the recliner in a slight stupor and his mood mirrored that of the grumpiest of men.

Edward shrugged and tossed the remote to Emmett. "Nothing else on."

Emmett rolled his eyes and flipped through the channels stopping on one of the movie channels. "Here we go, Twilight. A nice chick flick for the chick mood you're in right now."

Edward yawned and rolled his eyes at his friend. "Who's in it?"

"Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart…"

"Shit…"

Emmett frowned and decided to bring up a more appealing subject, at least to him. "So is Rosie gonna be at any of the races this season?"

"Don't know, why don't you ask her yourself? It's not like she'd be hanging around to see me anyway. The only time I've seen much of my sister in the last few years she's been attached to your face by her lips."

"Shit…What's wrong with you Edward?"

He shook his head dismissively. "Jasper doesn't trust me with my own nanny."

"Is that his new girlfriend? The chick he was looking for earlier?"

Edward nodded. "Yup. He jumped all over my ass this morning for wearing boxers in my own coach and then Kellen gave her a hickey earlier and he thought I did it."

"Kellen gave her a hickey? Damn you Masen's start young."

"Yeah well… Anyway, he pissed me off so I'm here."

Emmett just shook his head. "Why aren't you at your coach?"

"Because Bella was asleep on my couch and Jasper was in her coach and I have absolutely no desire to be anywhere around either of them right now."

"Is she hot? What does she look like?"

"That…" Edward said matter-of-factly as Kristen Stewart's face filled the screen.

"No shit…Man, you people suck," Emmett muttered under his breath and rose to get a beer, surprised when the door flew open and Alice bounced inside.

"Sup bro?"

He rolled his eyes and nodded his head in Edward's direction. "Want a beer?"

"Sure…"

"Not you Ali. Edward? You want a beer?"

"I suppose."

Emmett grabbed two beers and root beer out of the refrigerator, handing the root beer to Alice before sitting on the sofa and tossing one beer to Edward. "Edward, this is my sister, Alice. Alice, Edward."

Alice smiled and waved but frowned when Edward just nodded his head, not taking his eyes off of the tv. "Nice manners…"

"Alice?" Edward said suddenly. "Jasper has a new she-friend named Alice. He met her at some bar the other night…"

Alice's eyes widened and she did her best to melt into the sofa and away from Emmett's threatening glare.

"What the hell were you doing in a bar?"

Alice shrugged not sure what to say at the scolding that felt more parental than it should have. "I was just hanging out and dancing. I wasn't drinking or anything."

"But you were in a bar!"

"I'm eighteen Emmett! It's allowed."

Edward chuckled. "Man, Jasper was right, you are barely legal."

"Edward you're not helping," Emmett pleaded.

"I was just hanging out with Embry's sister and some of her friends. Then I saw Jasper being all mopey so I sat down and talked to him then we left."

"You left the bar with a man you don't even know!?"

"It's Jasper!"

"You don't know him from ass cream Alice!"

Unable to stop herself she burst into laughter at Emmett's comparison. "Where the hell did that come from?"

"Stop laughing it's not funny…" he replied defensively but was soon overruled by Edward's obnoxious cackles.

"Ass cream!? Oh my God, that's great…"

"You can both kiss my ass…"

Emmett turned and stormed out of the coach, slamming the door, behind him before returning seconds later. "I forgot my beer…"

He left again, slamming the door harder this time.

"Oh my God that was great…" Alice giggled.

Edward quieted, still laughing a little at the situation then a serious look fell over his face as he looked at Alice. "Hey…"

"Hmm?"

"Do you want me or am I too old?"

Emmett chose that moment to storm back inside. "This is my coach! I don't have to leave and I am NOT leaving you alone with my baby sister. Good bye Edward."


	12. Chapter 11

**_AN: Alrighty people, you're only getting this because I don't feel like working._**

**_To explain why Edward asked Alice if she thought he was hot, you have to think back a few chapters to when Jasper told him about Alice. _**

_Chapter Eight_

_["Well, what's her name? I might want to meet her."_

_"Her name is Alice. And she's barely legal. Not to mention she's JWhit Madam, so I doubt she'd want your old ass."_

_"I'm only thirty Jazz."]_

**_Does that clear things up for you guys? Hopefully so. If not then go back and reread I feel to damn icky to give a shit at the moment and that includes more explanation than this._**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. All characters belong to the wonderful Mrs. Meyer and anything else belongs to NASCAR._**

_

* * *

_

_Chapter Eleven_

Bella stretched her arms over her head and yelped as her knuckles came in hard contact with the wall. "Ouch!"

She sat up quickly shaking the sting from her hand and looked around and frowned. Either she'd slept through being ransacked or she was in Edward's coach. Kellen's immediate squalling answered her question.

Standing up to head back to the bedroom, she jumped in surprise when the door flew open and Jasper rushed inside. "We need to talk…"

"How'd you get loose?" She walked towards the bedroom not bothering to look at him and leaned over to get Kellen out of the crib. Spreading out a blanket on the foot of the bed she laid him down and changed his diaper then handed it to Jasper as she picked Kellen back up and gently rocked him against her. "Throw that away please…"

"Edward untied me… Look can we talk please?" he pleaded following behind her as she went back to the living room.

Shifting Kellen onto her hip as he snuggled against her, she sat on the couch and watched Jasper, waiting for him to speak.

"Bells… listen. I'm sorry okay. Edward told me what an ass I was being and I'm sorry."

"I told you what an ass you were being too. Do you only see the obvious when he points it out to you?"

"No."

"Then why didn't what I said sink in?"

Jasper took a deep breath and collapsed in the seat across from her. "Bella, I really _really_ like you. Probably more than I've ever liked anyone in my life and that says a lot coming from me."

She listened in silence judging his face and eyes more than listening to the words that came out of his mouth.

"I'm sorry that I've acted the way that I have but it's not you that I don't trust. It's Edward and I never meant to let it get to me so easily but as I said, I've never been so scared of losing something before than I am now."

"You really think I'm going to be that hard to hold on to?"

He shrugged and looked down at the floor. "I don't know."

"Jasper, my husband died three years ago and until you, no other guy has come close to peaking my interest. But I'm not going to put up with the jealousy. I never did before and I'm not going to now. If you can't trust me and my judgment then I can't be with you."

"Alright."

"Is he asleep yet?" Bella asked as she was unable to see Kellen's face.

Jasper nodded and followed her as she walked back to put him in bed. When she turned around he slipped his arms around her waist and pulled her against him pressing a gentle kiss to her lips. "Kellen's going to have to find something else to suck on or you're going to look like a leper."

"What!? He did it again?" She pulled away from him and rushed to the bathroom to look in the mirror. Sure enough another spot had formed just to the left of the other. "I've never been so glad to have long hair. To bad I'll look retarded with it wrapped around the front of my neck."

"What's going on?" Edward called from the living room.

Jasper laughed and shook his head. "Kellen's got a sucking problem you need to have remedied."

"He did it again?"

"Oh yeah…"

Bella rolled her eyes and joined the guys in the living room as she casually rested her hand over her neck.

"Is it that bad Bells?" Edward asked as he pulled her hand away. "Holy shit!"

She rolled her eyes. "That really makes me feel better. Good night Edward."

"Night."

"He's been changed and I just put him back down." Bella followed Jasper out of Edward's coach and went with him as he took her hand and pulled her towards the road that twisted through the drivers' lot. "Where are we going?"

"Just thought you'd like to walk around and see everything. You've been inside most of the day."

She smiled and fell into step next to him and they walked in silence eventually finding their way to pit road.

"So have you been out here yet?"

"Nope, can't say that I have." Bella looked on in awe. "This place is huge."

Jasper smiled and pulled her against him so that her back was to his chest and slipped his arms possessively around her waist before he rested his chin on her shoulder. "You smell good."

She laughed. "No I don't. I smell like baby slobber."

"No you don't."

"Jasper!"

They turned at his name to see a young woman and what Bella assumed was another driver walking towards them. "Hey guys," Jasper said with a smile, shaking the man's hand as he released Bella and turned towards their company. "Bells, this is Emmett Brandon, he drives the Bear and Sons Cutlery car. And this is his sister, Alice."

Bella looked at the shorter woman who appeared to be sizing her up then back at Jasper with raised brows. "The Alice."

"Yup."

"Nice to meet you." She smiled at Alice and took Emmett's outstretched hand, rolling her eyes slightly when he kissed the back of hers.

"Same here and Edward wasn't lyin' either. You look just like Kristen Stewart."

"Real smooth Casanova…" Alice bit sarcastically as her elbow met his ribs. "So, what are you guys up to?"

Jasper looked at Bella and smiled. "Just showing her around, she's never been here before."

"Oh, well, we were about to go get something to eat. You guys wanna come?" Emmett asked before Alice could, pretty sure she'd direct the question only at Jasper.

"Um… where are you guys going? It's pretty late," Jasper replied, not exactly sure how comfortable Bella was going out with people she didn't really know. Then again, what better way to get to know them.

"Waffle House… Duh," Alice smarted back rolling her eyes as she looked at Bella to find her smiling. "What do ya say?"

"Fine with me," Bella agreed, gently pushing Jasper.

"Alright. Some hash browns and grits sound really good right now."

Emmett looked at him with a smile. "You can take the boy out of Texas…"

* * *

Bella pulled her pullover tighter as they entered the cold restaurant. It was nearing midnight and though a number of people lined the counter there were plenty of open booths.

They walked the length of restaurant and sat in a booth in the far corner from the door. Sitting on the inside, both Emmett and Jasper pulled their hats further down over their eyes and immediately diverted their attention to the menus.

Alice and Bella watched in amusement as the waitress approached them for their drink order.

"What you boys gonna drink?" she asked as she popped her gum, her southern accent more than showy, having already taken the girls order.

"Milk."

" Sweet Tea." They muttered and she just rolled her eyes and walked away.

"Milk?" Emmett asked in confusion.

Jasper just shrugged. "I drink milk with breakfast. I'm a growing boy."

Emmett just snickered and looked at Bella. "You hear that? He's a growing _boy_…"

Bella just smiled and took a sip of her water.

"I guess it all depends on what part of him is growing…" Alice said, not realizing she's spoken aloud as the smirk dropped from her face when she realized everyone was staring at her. "What?"

Jasper chuckled. "That's my madam. Only thinking about one thing…"

Bella shook her head. "She's not the only one."

"Oh really…" Jasper said, trying to sound suave and seductive as he slid his arm behind Bella and scooted closer to her.

"Jasper! Gees, I was talking about you, ya dork." Bella laughed as he tickled her. "Stop!"

Emmett quickly scanned the restaurant and noticed they were drawing attention. "Hey… shh… keep it down guys. What are you trying to do? Get us mobbed."

"Whatever I feel like I wanna do…," Jasper huffed. "Gosh!"

They all laughed at Jasper then placed their orders and went back to laughing. "I wanted tater tots. They only have hash browns."

"Alright, enough. Eat." Emmett growled, not nearly as enamored with his behavior as the girls were.

After dinner they drove back to the track and said their goodbyes, each going their separate way. "I'll walk you back," Jasper said as Bella started for her coach. He slipped his hand in hers and they walked in silence.

"I had fun tonight," she said as they reached her coach and she opened the door.

"Me too," he replied softly as he closed the distance between them and reached out to caress her cheek. He slowly leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers, barely a whisper of touch, then pulled away. "Good night, Bells…"

She watched him disappear into the darkness of the lot and climbed the stairs on weak legs. "He's going to kill me…" she whimpered, frustration evident in her voice.

After a quick shower she put on a pair of panties and a camisole and climbed in the bed, opening the window for a slight breeze she laid on top of the sheets and closed her eyes, letting her hands roam her body, soon they were no longer hers but Jasper's as his fingers did their magic and then she fell into a peaceful slumber.


	13. Chapter 12

__

**_AN: Howdy people! I hope you all enjoyed your extra chapter yesterday. It was a bit short but that's what you get with extra chapters. Tomorrow's chapter is a bit short as well but you'll be getting your White Flag update so I want no complaining! _**

**So on top of not feeling well, my car's messed up, I can't afford a new one and my father-in-law had to pick up my husband and I for work today. Talk about fun fun! All I have to say is DEXCOOL is evil and does not belong in a car. Stupid gunked up shit's so clogged there's pretty much not anti-freeze running into my engine at all. Luckily we were able to get the car going to get it to the shop so hopefully there will be no other problems other than having to have it flushed. Its supposed to get pretty cold tonight and the last thing I need is a cracked engine block.**

**Anywho... on with the update. I hope you guys are ready to get moving on with the "relationships" in this story. ENJOY!**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. All characters belong to the wonderful Mrs. Meyer and anything else belongs to NASCAR._**

* * *

Chapter Twelve

After two weeks in Daytona, Bella was more than ready for some alone time. Jasper stayed under her constantly but his jealous outbursts had all but disappeared. No, surprise though, seeing that the only time she had to herself was when she was sleeping.

He continued to tease and torment her but never pushed her past the point of some light making out before excusing himself for the night and going back to his coach. And to say she was frustrated as hell would be an understatement but she wasn't going to rush anything. She wasn't ready to deal with another broken heart.

Edward had managed to scrape by Dale Earnhardt Jr on the last lap with a little help from Emmett to win the 500 on Sunday and as she'd been informed on the flight home, it was custom for a party to follow a victory at Twilight, a "club" in the basement of Edward's house. She'd never seen the basement but from the stories she'd heard from Jasper and Emmett it was the place where all the juicy stuff happened.

As soon as the plane landed Anne took Kellen and headed home leaving Jasper and Edward ready to party and Bella wondering what to do with herself.

There was absolutely no way she'd be able to get any rest with the party being held in the house so against her better judgment she decided to suck it up, have some fun and save the resting for tomorrow.

"Bells!" Jasper yelled as he pounded on her door, two hours later. "Come on. Everybody's going to be here soon. You need to get downstairs so we can get the darkest corner before someone else does."

She shook her head and laughed as she opened the door, her smile widening at the very evident gasp that escaped Jasper's lips when he saw her.

His gaze slowly traveled up her body, over her brown leather boots that stopped just below her knee, the dark denim skirt with gold embellishments that stopped a few inches short of her knee and a gold lace camisole. His gaze lingered momentarily on the generous amount of cleavage that was exposed before drifting upwards to settle on her pouty mouth that was painted with just a hint of burgundy gloss and big brown eyes with the tiniest bit of liner. "You look … Wow. You know… can we just stay up here and have a party of our own."

"No…" she giggled turning around to go in the bathroom and finish her hair. When she returned her chestnut locks had dried into a sexy mess and Jasper was floored.

"My God you're gorgeous…"

Bella just smiled. "Let's go before we miss the _good dark corner_…"

They descended the stairs hand in hand and were met by a group of people who'd just straggled through the front door.

Bella watched as Jasper high-fived and joked around with the men. Crossing her arms uncomfortably over her stomach she looked around nervously until Edward caught her eye and motioned for her to follow him.

She squeezed past Jasper unnoticed and followed Edward into the kitchen. "Did you need me?"

"Yeah, do you mind helping me get some of this stuff down to the basement? Jasper's going to be of little use with his boys here."

"His boys?" she asked curiously as she grabbed a tray of food and followed him down to the basement.

He put the stack of pizzas in his hand down on the bar then turned to get the tray out of her arms. "Yeah they're just a bunch of guys I grew up with. We used to get into all sorts of trouble around here. They've adopted Jasper into the group and now there's no hope for his safe return."

Bella laughed then turned around to take in her surroundings. "So what do you do with poles and mirrors down here Edward?" she asked, raising a curious brow.

He looked at her innocently and shrugged. "That was here when I moved in."

"Yeah, I buy that." When she looked back at him he was staring at her. "Edward?"

"Huh?"

"You're staring."

Even in the dim light she could see the blush that crossed his cheeks as he put the food on the back counter. "Sorry. It's just… You look beautiful."

Bella looked down shyly. "Thanks. It feels nice not to be covered in slobber and baby food."

"Or hickies…"

She laughed. "Or hickies, funny little things pacifiers. Why did you have to wait until he started sucking my neck to get him one?"

"I don't want him to get all buck-tooth."

"There are such things as braces these days, Eddie. They work wonders."

"Hey! There you guys are. Why'd you run off?" Jasper asked as he joined Bella and Edward, both of them noticing as he possessively slid his arm around her waist. "You know with you in those boots, I've got a much better view of your…"

She clamped her hand over his mouth. "Don't finish that sentence Jasper."

"He's got a point though," Edward added. "Every guy here will have a nice view of them except…"

She sighed and rolled her neck. "Fine, I'm going to change."

"No you're not." Jasper and Edward both said looking at each other awkwardly.

Edward quickly jumped in to relieve the situation. "You don't have time. People are already getting here and you need to play hostess."

"It's not my house."

"You live here."

"I work here." She shot back surprised to see Edward come face to face with her, barely inches separating them as his hot breath played against the sensitive skin of her cheek.

"You live here."

Swallowing hard, she slowly nodded and followed him up the stairs to help with the remainder of the food.

* * *

Jasper threw back his head, finishing off his sixth beer in an hour. Initially he'd been thirsty, now he just couldn't stop. He'd started the party off dancing with Bella in the dark corner he'd promised but once things got too heated she'd pushed him away and told him she needed to cool down.

He'd watched her walk up the stairs and hadn't seen her since. That had been a few hours ago. He didn't know if she'd gone to bed or just wanted to be alone but in his current state he didn't trust his legs to take him where his mind wanted to go so he stayed right where he was.

"Hey Jasper…" Emmett called from the foot of the stairs, his arms wrapped snuggly around the waist of Rosalie Masen. "Have you seen Alice down here?"

Jasper shook his head and watched Emmett go upstairs leaving Rosie at the bar with a shot glass and bottle of tequila. He honestly didn't remember if he'd seen Alice at all that night. He glanced over to the group that was gathered together dancing and let his eyes trail over the well-developed blond that Mike Newton had latched onto.

She cast him a glance over her shoulder and he slammed his bottle down on the bar and swaggered over to her. "Mind if I cut in…" he slurred, receiving a smile from his friend as he passed the girl over.

"Have fun."

"Oh I intend too…"

Jasper looked down into the girl's face at her light eyes, heavily shrouded in eyeliner and mascara. She was nothing like Bella and that's just what he needed. "Why don't I show you to my corner…"

* * *

Emmett stepped out onto the patio still looking for his sister. He knew he shouldn't have brought her tonight. There was no way he'd be able to keep an eye on her and his hands on Rosalie. Sure she was eighteen but all she wanted to do when she was around these guys was talk about sex and all the things she'd like to do to them.

These were his friends and to hear his eighteen year old baby sister say some of the stuff she said wigged him beyond belief. Sure she was legal but as long as he was around, she was supposed to act like she wasn't.

"Alice?" he called, seeing a figure sitting in one of the chairs but as he got closer, realized it was Bella. "Oh hey, have you seen Ali tonight? I can't find her anywhere…"

She just smiled and shook her head. "Last time I saw her she was attached to James at the face…"

"What?"

"Oh shit…"

"I'm sorry. Did you say she was attached to _James_ at the face?"

Bella covered her mouth with her hand and mentally kicked herself. "Not tonight! I haven't seen her tonight."

"So when did you see her with James?"

"I didn't."

"Bells…"

"Oh fine! The night of the shootout…"

Emmett rubbed his face. "Nevermind. At least he's only twenty-one."

"See… no need to worry."

"Hell yes there's reason to worry! We're worse at twenty-one than we are now!"

She smiled. "So it'd be okay if it were Edward but James isn't?"

"No!"

"Oh Emmett, I quit. If you're going to sit out here, be quiet. If not, go inside and find Alice."

Emmett sat quietly for a moment, watching her closely. "Are you alright?"

She took a deep breath and looked up at the clear February sky. "No. I don't know what the hell I'm doing."

"Ya wanna talk about it?"

Bella looked at him, meeting him eye to eye. "You have to promise me you're not in love with me, never will be and never have been."

He chuckled. "I promise all of those things, I'm completely head over heels in love with Rosalie Masen."

"Edward's sister? Really? Does he know?"

"Yes, yes and," he swallowed loudly, "not really."

Bella giggled at the thought of Emmett being scared of Edward. "Alright then your secret's safe with me. Whatever I say stays between us right?"

"Of course."

"I'm confused. I know that I've got this relationship kind of thing going on with Jasper but sometimes I just look at us together and wonder what the hell I'm doing. He's three years younger than me and though that's not really an issue, the fact that he acts that way is. Sometimes, not often at all really, but sometimes he's really sweet and loving and mature. That's what I love about him but then he gets jealous and irrational and I just want to beat him over the head with something to make him see what a child he's being. I've done the immature guy thing, I married one. But I'm past that now. I've had to grow up really fast. At Jasper's age I was widowed and trying to scrape to make ends meet. There was no partying, no fun. I hated waking up in the morning because it was a constant reminder of everything I've lost…" she drifted off prompting Emmett to speak up to draw her attention back to the conversation.

"But…"

She shook her head. "More of anand…"

"Okay and…"

"And at the same time I feel drawn to Edward. We've got so much in common and I'm so comfortable around him. We just click, ya know? I don't feel like I have to answer to him. I mean, Jasper's gotten to this point where he's so insecure about me. He doesn't have those jealous fits anymore but I can tell he hates it when I'm anywhere around Edward …"

"Well, he's obviously got a good reason. I don't know if you know this but prior to Paige, Eddie was a bit of a lady's man. These parties would end with him and three women having special time in the hot tub. That would make any men insecure. And you just told me…"

Bella shook her head. "It wasn't that way to begin with Emmett. I think… I think all this fighting and jealousy that I went through with him just pushed me towards Edward …"

Emmett looked down at the concrete before looking back up at her. She was quiet and contemplating, not ready to make a decision he could tell but he wondered what was going through her mind. "What are you going to do?"

"What can I do? Edward's been widowed for four months, he's not ready to move on. Hell I've been this way for three years and it's hard as hell to try to move on."

"Just give it time okay. Don't make any major decisions until you know you're ready."

She nodded and took his hand when he offered to help her up. "I think I'm going to head to bed."

"Alright. Just let it go Bells. It'll be okay everything will work out the way it should."

She waved at Emmett and went inside taking the stairs slowly, hoping there were no couples fornicating in her bed. She opened the door and was just about to step inside when she heard mumbles coming from across the hall.

Frowning, she flipped on her light and set her jacket inside then walked over to Jasper's door, listening closely to make sure she hadn't been hearing things.

Then she heard a thump followed by a high pitched giggle. Her heart pounded in her chest as she grabbed the doorknob, slowly turning it not sure what she was going to find. She kept telling herself that she hoped it wasn't Jasper but at the same time if it was, that would free her up to make a decision.

When the latch gave way she slowly pushed open the door and the more light flooded the room the louder the pounding in her ears grew. Then the stream of light fell onto the rising and falling of a body she knew all too well. "Jasper…"

* * *


	14. Chapter 13

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**_AN: First off... sorry this chapter isn't as long as most but you did get a White Flag update today so you have nothing to complain about. Secondly... I'm not happy. My lovely 99 Malibu that I've had for 10 years and 2 months has decided it doesn't want to work properly anymore. The head gasket is leaking oil into the coolant reservoir which means that the radiotor is getting clogged with oil and therefore no coolant or anti-freeze are getting to the engine. And seeing that it's going to cost more than the vehicle is worth to fix it... I'm in the shitty position of having to get a new car. Thats not what I wanted. I just got a $ 10,000 credit card paid off and wanted to start putting that money aside and now it's going to go to a car payment. Not happy at all. Hopefully things will work out appropriately but what can ya do. I've been crossign my fingers and praying non-stop since about 7 last night and I'm sure God has put me on speaker phone by now and gone on to take another call. _**

**And to top all of it off, I'm still feeling like crap and my nerves have got my stomach in knots which is only increasing my ickiness.**

**Wish me luck guys! **

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. All characters belong to the wonderful Mrs. Meyer and anything else belongs to NASCAR._**

* * *

Chapter Thirteen

Bella stood motionless, unable to take her eyes off of the sight in front of her. She wanted to believe that it wasn't Jasper but she knew it was.

She slowly closed the door, just as quietly as she'd opened it and walked down the hall to Edward's room.

Hearing voices coming from his room as well, she slowed but knew there was nothing going on because the door was wide open and the lights were on. As she reached the doorway she saw Edward and Alice sitting on the bed facing away from her as Alice did her best to run Edward into the wall of some track on the video game they were playing.

"Alice, Emmett's looking for you…" she said suddenly, startling them both.

Alice rolled her eyes. "I'll kick your ass later Edward, you just wait."

"Yeah, that'll happen," he joked back watching Alice leave the room before turning his attention to Bella. That's when he noticed the blank expression on her face. "What's wrong Bells?"

"Can you just take me somewhere else? I don't think I can stay here tonight…"

Edward frowned in confusion. "Why? What's wrong?"

"I just need to get away from here. I don't know where to go, I just figured you had some idea… Plus I don't have a car."

He nodded. "Yeah, I guess. Go get some clothes."

Edward watched her walk away and close her bedroom door behind her then started down the hall himself to find Jasper. When he passed by his room he heard the moans and cast a quick glance at Bella's door. "Son of a bitch." Without knocking he burst into Jasper's room and turned on the light. "What the hell are you doing?"

"GO away…" murmured the blond that Jasper had pressed into the bed, her eyeliner and mascara running messily down her face.

"Shut the hell up and get out of my house," Edward growled at her before turning his attention back to Jasper. "And you… I thought you'd changed but apparently I was wrong. Get your stuff and get out. Until you can straighten your ass out you're not welcome here."

"What?!"

"Don't… she trusted you Jasper and after all the crap you gave her and your jealousy you pull this shit… Get out."

Edward turned and strode towards the open bedroom door as Jasper watched him before his gaze caught Bella standing in the hallway with a bag in her hand and tears running down her face. "Bells… shit…" he grunted as he struggled to get up from the tangle of sheets on his bed.

She just turned away and followed Edward down the stairs.

"Bells! Please…" Jasper called as he wrapped a sheet around his waist and ran after her, grabbing her arm just before she walked out of the front door. "Please Bella… it's not…"

"Don't… Because it is, and I don't want to be lied to anymore…"

"I didn't lie…"

"Just stop it…" she raised her hand to quiet him.

Edward placed his hand on her elbow as he opened the door for her and took her bag. "Come on Bells." He cast a warning glance at Jasper before looking at the other occupants that had stopped to watch the altercation. "Emmett, get everyone out of here, please."

"No problem…" he replied before he gave Jasper a look of his own and walked away.

* * *

They'd been riding for nearly an hour and Bella continued to stare out of her window. She hadn't said a word since they'd gotten in the truck and Edward didn't know what to say to her.

He couldn't believe what Jasper had done. Since Bella had shown up he'd really straightened up, or so he'd thought. There had been no more one night stands and all in all he seemed pretty taken with her. After that whole jealousy thing in Daytona getting sorted out he figured things would be going great for them by now. Apparently he was wrong.

"You okay?" he finally asked, unable to handle the silence any longer. He'd long ago turned off the radio as soon as they'd gotten in because every song that played seemed to talk about being done wrong.

She just shrugged. "I feel stupid."

Edward reached between them and grabbed her hand. "You're not stupid Bells. You didn't know this was going to happen. Hell, I didn't know this was going to happen and I've known him for years. I thought he'd finally gotten his act together, I mean you're all he's talked about since you got here."

"Well, I guess we're both stupid then…"

"He's going to blame it on the alcohol you know…"

She snorted. "Poor alcohol seems to take the blame for everything."

"I'm sorry. I told him to get his stuff out. I don't want him back there, especially while you're there."

"You can't just kick him out for that Edward …"

"Yes I can. I can do whatever I damn well please. It's my house. And I'm not going to kick you out…"

Bella smirked and rolled her eyes. "Of course not, who'd take care of Kellen then…"

He pulled the truck to the shoulder of the road and threw it into park before turning to face her. "Look at me Bella." She slowly looked at him through heavy eyes. "That is _not_ why I'm keeping you around. I know you've got nowhere else to go. I know you're alone. And quite frankly I like having you there. You being Kellen's nanny is just part of the deal."

"I don't know how anyone can like having me around…"

"Don't start that self-deprecating shit with me. You're a beautiful, smart, funny woman and Jasper's an unbelievable ass for fucking that up."

Her gaze met his in disbelief. "You think I'm beautiful?"

"Everyone thinks you're beautiful…"

He pulled the car back out onto the highway then pulled off at the next road, following a long two lane drive that curved and banked in all directions before pulling to a stop in front of an old cabin.

"What is this place?"

Edward hopped out of his side of the truck then walked around to open the door for her. "It's my dad's old hunting cabin. I've kind of modernized it a little as a place to escape to when needed." He took her bag and grabbed her hand, helping her over the rocky terrain. "Watch that top step, it's a little loose."

He unlocked the door and stepped in to turn on the lights, hoping everything wasn't covered in dust. It'd been a while since he'd been there.

Bella walked in behind him, her eyes taking in the rustic decoration. "Homey…" she laughed.

"Well I'm just surprised there's not dust coating every surface."

"It's bigger than it seems from the outside…" She looked at the small kitchen and the fairly large living area with a large stone hearth and two doors off of the main room.

Edward led her further into the room, opening one of the doors to reveal a state of the art bathroom then the other door. "This is the bedroom, obviously. California King so you'll have plenty of room to get comfortable. There's also a tv and we've got satellite if you want to get your mind off of things."

"Thanks for doing this Edward. I'm sorry I pulled you away from your party…"

He shrugged and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, pulling her to him. "To be honest with you, I'm not much in the partying mood lately anyway. That's why you found me playing 360 with Ali."

She laughed and returned his hug, enjoying the comfort she found in his arms. "You know I think Alice's got a little crush on you so you better be careful."

"But I thought I saw her making out with James the other day…" he said in confusion.

"Oh you did. But he's accessible, you're not." She pulled away from him and looked at her watch realizing it was nearly three in the morning. "I'm going to go ahead and get changed. I'm ready for about a year's worth of hibernation."

"I'll call Anne first thing in the morning and have her take Kellen to the shop with her so I can pick him up there. Get as much sleep as you can."

"Alright. Thank you Edward …"

He kissed her cheek and gave her another quick hug. "No problem sweetie…"

Edward watched her close the door before quickly knocking on it

"Yes?"

"I need to get some blankets out of the closet…" He brushed past her and grabbed a pillow and two thermal blankets out of the closet. "Good night."

"Night."

He spread one blanket out on the sofa and stripped down to his boxers, then turned off the light and lay down, pulling both blankets tightly around him. He set the alarm on his cell phone to get up and call Anne then stared out of the window behind the couch.

He wasn't tired and for some reason all he could think about was the heartbroken beauty in the next room.

* * *

**_AN: I fooled you all! It wasn't Alice! hehehe_**


	15. Chapter 14

_ ****__AN: Hiya everyone! I've got good news and bad. The good... I feel a little bit better, the stomach pain hasn't completely gone away but the nausea has. Also... I got my new car! Well suv... I got a 2008 Honda CR-V EX-L and I love it! Fully loaded with XM and seat warmers. I'm already spoiled. It's got a six disc changer and I've never even had a cd player in my car if that tells you how long its been since I've had a new vehicle. I just love it! Now if only it massaged your neck... lol._

_**Now that bad news... I've got something severely wrong with my neck. I woke up yesterday morning and it was a little sore and cramped well now I'm having muscle spasms and I couldn't sleep because my freaking head is too heavy for my neck to support it rignt now without major nerve issues. I could barely wash and dry my hair and my husband had to help me dress. I feel like an invalid, its horrible. And IcyHot and Aleve can only do so much.**_

**_Now onto what you guys really want... the update. Enjoy!_**

_****__Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. All characters belong to the wonderful Mrs. Meyer and anything else belongs to NASCAR._

* * *

Chapter Fourteen

Jasper ran his hands over his face for the millionth time then leaned back against the sofa and stared into the accusatory glares of Emmett, Rose and Alice.

"You really fucked up this time…" Alice muttered, completely agitated that she'd gone out of her way to help him out to begin with. "If I were Bella I'd be fucking the hell out of Edward right now, I know that."

"Hey! That's my brother, not a visual I needed," Rosalie chimed in quickly followed by the man at her side.

"Alice!" Emmett bellowed from the recliner, completely appalled by her comment. "Could you just shut up right now?! You're not helping."

"I shouldn't have to be helping. Jasper should know well enough to keep his dick zipped and his tongue in his mouth. It's not my fault he can't hold out until she's ready. My God Jasper, her husband died three years ago and you're the first man she's even wanted to be with and you show her how much you appreciate her by fucking the first thing that bats her overshadowed eyes. You could cut off your dick and gouge your eyes out, swearing to never stray again and she still wouldn't forgive you."

Jasper glared at her as she continued, knowing very well that she was right.

"Hell, I don't think I can forgive you and it doesn't even have anything to do with me," added Rose.

"And just where the hell were you?" Emmett spat, his anger at Jasper bleeding into his irritation that Alice had been AWOL most of the night.

She shrugged and got up to get something to drink. "I was playing Chase for the Cup with Edward. Ask Bella… the door was open, the lights were on and we were both fully clothed and upright. No need to worry."

"I'm not worried about you with him… James is another story entirely."

"What!?" she yelped, nearly dropping the bottle of beer she'd gotten out of the refrigerator. "What are you talking about?"

Emmett leaned forward and took the beer out of her hand. "Thank you. Bella accidentally let it slip when I was talking to her earlier."

"Well how did she accidentally let it slip? What were you talking about that she let it slip?"

Emmett rolled his eyes, quickly draining the bottle of beer before he continued. "I was just looking for you and asked her if she'd seen you. She said the last time she saw you, that you were smooching on James."

"Well I was. So get over it."

"You just need to be careful, Ali. I don't want you getting hurt. It's obvious these guys have no moral compass," he said pointedly pinning Jasper with an angry stare.

"Alright already! I screwed up! Give me a break."

Alice chuckled. "Oh you're going to get a break alright. I'm betting it's going to be your nose…"

* * *

_Edward watched the sun dancing off of her russet curls as it set over Lake Norman. They'd been fishing most of the afternoon and though he'd caught many, Paige had yet to catch anything and refused to leave until she did._

"Baby come on… it's getting late. We can't see to fish once the sun sets…"

Paige flashed her blue eyes at him and smiled. "I'm not leaving until I catch something."

He smiled and leaned back, relaxing and enjoying the quiet afternoon they'd shared. It had been the first day of relaxation he'd had in months and she'd gotten him up at the crack of dawn already dressed and ready to fish.

After half an hour of begging, she'd finally managed to get him up and had eagerly waited for him downstairs with a packed picnic basket and their rods. "Come on Edward … I thought you fisherman liked to start early."

Edward rolled his eyes and slipped on his hat and sunglasses as he stumbled down the stairs. "Had I known we were going to be fishing today I would've gotten up early but I didn't…"

She'd smiled up at him and pressed a soft kiss to his lips then turned around and grabbed their things.

He glanced at his watch again. They'd been out there for hours. If she didn't catch something soon she'd just have to get over it.

"Ow…" she mumbled, trying not to catch his attention as her hand quickly grabbed her stomach.

Edward sat up quickly and hurried to her side. "What's wrong?"

She shook her head. "Nothing, he's just extra antsy today. He's been kicking for a good hour, just got kind of rough for a minute there."

Paige took his hand and placed it carefully on her stomach and as predicted one more forceful blow impacted her stomach. "Ouch! God he's a kicker."

Edward smiled and placed a soft kiss on her stomach. "Let's go home baby."

"But I didn't cat…"

Before the words were out of her mouth, her line jerked and she yelped, quickly grabbing the rod, doing her best to reel in her catch. She fought with the line finally managing to bring the victim to the surface and Edward reached over the side of the boat to pull it in.

"Damn woman! You sit here all day and don't catch a thing then you catch the biggest of the day. You suck."

Paige chuckled as he took the hook out of its mouth and held up the large fish. "Nice."

"I'll say. Just think how proud I'm going to be when I tell the boys my woman caught a huge ass bass… Better yet, I'll have it mounted."

She frowned. "No… throw it back."

"Hell no…"

"Edward, throw it back."

"Paige… I'm not throwing it back. I sat here all damn day waiting on this and you finally caught it. We're not throwing it back."

"Yes we are…"

"No… We'll throw back what I caught but we're keeping yours."

She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Fine… Edward?"

"Hmm?"

She watched as he took the fish out of the bottom of the boat where they were still swimming happily in the water put each fish back in the lake before turning his full attention toward her. "I love you…"

He pressed a soft kiss to the tip of her nose. "I love you too…"

Edward sat up, pushing the past out of his mind as he glanced at his watch. He'd only been asleep a for half an hour. Tossing the blanket aside he stood to go get something to drink and found Bella leaning against the bedroom doorway. "How long have you been standing there?"

She shrugged. "A few minutes, I had to go to the bathroom, when I came out I heard you talking."

He nodded and opened the refrigerator, grabbing a bottle of water.

"Do you dream about her often?" she asked quietly, not moving, just watching him from a distance.

Edward hung his head before turning to face her. "Not as much as I used to." He started back to the couch, sitting down to pull the blankets back over him as the temperature in the room seemed to have dropped.

"Want to talk about it?"

"What's there to talk about? I have dreams about my wife just memories of us and stuff we used to do… the good times we had." He shrugged his shoulders. "I guess that's to be expected isn't it?"

Bella nodded and walked towards the couch, taking a seat at the far end where his feet had been. "It's normal, yeah. I dreamed about Jake for months. I still do on occasion. I guess it never really goes away."

Edward watched her as she slid the other end of the blanket around her shoulders. "How long were you guys together?"

"In all seven years I guess. We met in high school, got married right after. What about you guys?"

He watched her for a minute before looking out of the window behind the couch. "We met in grammar school when she punched me in the stomach because I looked up her skirt on the monkey bars of course she was a few years younger than me so that got me into a hell of a lot of trouble, even that young. Then I got sent off to military school and when I came back her family had moved to Charleston. After high school she showed up again, but we still didn't really get along much. Then one night she somehow ended up at one of my parties, I think she came with Mike, hell I don't even remember. But we spent the night sitting out on the porch talking until the sun came up and we never looked back." He turned back to face her. "What do you miss most? About your husband?"

Bella thought about it. The thought had never really occurred to her before. She smiled as she let herself think back to his little quirks. "When he'd get embarrassed about something, he'd get this little smile and hide his face. It was absolutely the cutest thing."

"I miss Paige's smile. She had the most captivating smile."

She nodded. "I saw a picture of her at the house, the one in your room. I caught a glimpse of it tonight. She was beautiful Edward. I'm so sorry…"

Edward reached out and grabbed her hand, gently squeezing it. "I tell you one thing, she would've ripped Jasper a new one after this shit tonight. Of course he never would've done this stuff when Paige was around. We've all changed. All of us have dealt with this differently and he chose the wrong way to cope."

Bella looked down at their hands and sighed. "That doesn't make it okay, Edward."

"I'm not saying it does. And I sure as hell don't expect you to just forgive him and let it go. But you guys need to talk and figure out what the hell is going on because I hate to lose one of my best friends because he's an ass that can't see what he's got when he's got it."

"I don't really think I'm much worth having right now, to be honest with you."

Edward leaned forward and framed her face in his hands. "I don't ever want to hear you talk like that again, Bells. You're beautiful and smart and …" His words faded away and he continued to look at her, his eyes roaming her face until they fell in line with hers and suddenly they weren't brown, they were a brilliant blue and her hair fell in wild ringlets over her shoulders.

He brushed his lips over hers and easily slipped his arms around her waist, pulling her into his lap as his tongue probed her hot mouth.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her hand in his messy hair as his mouth ripped from hers and began peppering kisses along her neck.

But when his hand came up to cup her breast an alarm went off in her head telling her to pull away, that something wasn't right and she did so. "Edward… we need to stop…"

"No Paige…" he groaned, pulling her harder against him as his mouth devoured hers yet again.

"Edward!" she yelled as she once again tore her mouth from his and put some distance between them. "It's Bella… not Paige…"

Edward looked at her through hazy eyes as his quickened breaths began to calm and he buried his head in his hands. "I'm… God… I'm so sorry…"

"Shh…" she whispered pulling him to her side. "It's alright…"

He leaned into her and before either could get a grasp on the situation, he began to cry.


	16. Chapter 15

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_****__AN: Well my neck is a tad bit better but still hurts like hell. Gotta love it when that happens._

**_There's not a lot that goes on in this chapter, at least nothing groundbreaking. I may post another update later today or possibly a little separate short. Not sure just yet. We'll see. Enjoy!_**

_****__Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. All characters belong to the wonderful Mrs. Meyer and anything else belongs to NASCAR._

* * *

Chapter Fifteen

Edward was waiting for Anne when she arrived at Forks Racing the next morning with Kellen fast asleep in her arms.

"What happened?" she asked worriedly as Edward took his son and followed her into the building. "And why are you up so early? It's barely 7:30."

"Things didn't go well last night. I'm just going to leave it at that for now." They stepped into the elevator in silence except for the soft coos that escaped Kellen's mouth as he slept. "Did you have any problems with him last night?"

Anne looked at Edward like he'd sprouted another head. "Edward, I never have trouble with him. He's the perfect child, which further convinces me that he takes solely after Paige and not you."

"Um… did you see the hickies he gave Bella a few weeks ago? Trust me, this boy's all papa…" he laughed.

She shook her head and rolled her eyes at him as they stepped into her office. "Did you need something else Edward? I'm kind of curious as to why you didn't want me to bring Kellen home. Like I said before, seeing you this early in the morning just seems a little out of character for you."

"I wasn't home. And neither was Bella so there was no reason for you to take him there."

Anne arched her brow in question not saying anything because she knew Edward could read her perfectly well.

He nodded and sat in one of the large leather chairs across from her. "Okay, there's absolutely no way to avoid telling you about what happened last night so I guess I just need to tell you. Around, um… well very, very early this morning Bella came in my room and told me she needed me to take her somewhere, anywhere other than my house. Turns out she found Jasper screwing some chick."

"What?!" Anne clasped her hand over her mouth in surprise. "I thought that he'd straightened up… He's been talking about her nonstop since she got here. I just don't understand."

"Well, I don't either but he obviously hasn't straightened out yet. Anyway, I took her up to Daddy's hunting cabin and we stayed there last night. I told Jasper to get his stuff and get out. I'm not going to subject Bells to that on a daily basis. It's going to be hard enough for her seeing him at the track after that."

"You _both_ stayed at the cabin?"

Edward looked at her and shook his head. "We didn't sleep together Anne. I slept on the couch and she slept in the bedroom."

"Well, where's Jasper going to go?"

"Hell if I know and right now I don't care. I can't believe he had the gall to do that. Especially to Bella after knowing everything she's been through as well as that jealousy shit he was pulling in Daytona."

She shrugged. "Well you know what they say about people that are jealous and think they're being cheated on."

"They're the cheaters."

Anne gave him a short smile. "He can stay with me but I'm not putting up with that. Not with Rosalie in the house, she's a big enough handful as it is when I can actually get her away from Emmett long enough to spend some time at home. I've got plenty of room but he's not going to be out partying and whoring at all hours if he stays with me. If that's not good enough, he's got plenty of money he can find a place to stay."

Edward looked down at Kellen as he snuggled further into his embrace.

"How's Bella doing?"

"Okay, I suppose. I don't think she'd fully given into the idea of Jasper yet so that's the only good thing coming out of this but I know for a fact that he's the first guy she's even been interested in since her husband died so I'm pretty sure this is going to put her on guard."

"Do you think she'll give him another chance?"

"I don't know. I told her she needed to talk to him but it's up to her. I don't think I'd give him another chance if it was me but obviously it's not."

"Well I doubt you're the only one that feels that way," Anne nodded. "Just be there for her Edward, I'm sure she's going to be there for you when you need someone too."

He stood up and walked around the desk to give her a kiss on her cheek then started for the door, stopping just short of opening it. "Hey Anne?"

"Yeah?"

"After Dad died, you know the dreams you had?"

She nodded.

"Did he ever speak to you through them?"

Anne frowned. "You mean like to give me direction now that he was gone?"

Edward nodded and watched her closely as she thought about it for a few moments.

"I guess a few times he did. Why? Is Paige talking to you?"

He didn't know if he wanted to answer that. He felt dumb enough for asking the question but seeing how Anne had been honest with him, he needed to do the same in return. "Not lately but right after Bella came, when I was having such a hard time with her Paige told me to give her a chance."

Anne smiled. "Aren't you glad you did?"

He nodded and opened the door. "I'll see ya later."

"Bye Edward."

* * *

Bella rolled over, cringing as the bright sunlight burned through the windows and fell across her face. She sat up and looked around the room.

Somehow she'd gotten back in bed but the last thing she remembered was Edward crying in her arms while she rubbed his back and rocked him until they'd both fallen asleep. She got up and grabbed some clothes then headed for the bathroom.

The main room of the cabin was empty so she took a quick shower and came out just as Edward walked through the front door with Kellen in tow.

"Hey…" she said softly smiling at him as Kellen reached for her and she took him in her arms. "Morning Kel Kel."

He smiled and curled his tiny fingers into the material of her shirt.

She watched Edward in the kitchen as he got some eggs and bacon out of the refrigerator and pulled out a few pans.

"How do you like your eggs?"

She shrugged. "Doesn't matter. Scrambled, over easy, I'm not picky at all."

Edward smiled and watched as she sat on the couch and played with Kellen. "When did you get up?"

"About half an hour ago, I'm not sure how I got back in bed though."

"I put you in there before I left. We didn't exactly sleep in the most comfortable position so I thought at least one of us should get a few hours on a soft bed."

"Thanks."

He went back to cooking, every now and then stealing a glance across the room, unable to withhold the smile that broke free at the happiness both Bella and Kellen expressed when they were together.

Bella looked up and he quickly looked away but not before their eyes locked and a moment was shared that neither were expecting.

"Here ya go…"

He placed the plates on the small bar and fixed them both a glass of orange juice then took Kellen from her arms to put him into the playpen that was set up in the middle of the living room area.

Bella smiled. "I was starving. I don't even think I ate last night to be honest with you."

"At all?"

She shook her head and smiled. "No. I didn't spend much time at the party. I was out on the patio staring at the stars most of the night. Then Emmett came out looking for Alice so I went inside. I guess I just wasn't all that hungry."

Edward finished his breakfast, scraping the plate clean. "Now that you mention it I don't think I ate either."

She smiled and took his plate, quickly washing them before turning around to find him standing close behind her. "Oh…um. Wh… what are we going to do today? I mean do you have to go to the shop or are we staying here?"

Edward stepped up to her and slipped his arms on either side of her then turned on the faucet to wash his hands.

"I would've moved if you'd asked…" she whispered, finding it hard to use her voice suddenly.

He looked her in the eyes and let his gaze fall to her lips, a smirk pulling at his own when her tongue darted out to moisten them. "You think you're ready to go back? Jasper might still be there."

She shrugged as he backed away and quickly put some distance between them. "Maybe I'll have a chance to break something before he leaves."

"Like what?"

"His jaw…"

* * *

Edward entered the house ahead of Bella and Kellen not sure what to expect. He'd asked Emmett to get everyone out of the house when they'd left but sometimes a few of the guys felt they were exempt from having to go home because they'd been his friend for years.

Besides a few randomly strewn beer bottles there wasn't much of a mess and most of the furniture still appeared to be in one piece. They went upstairs so that Bella could put Kellen down for his nap and Edward watched from the doorway as she kissed him and placed him in his crib then quietly left the room, closing the door behind her.

They both turned towards Jasper's door, neither of them moving or saying a word. His car hadn't been outside when they'd arrived but for all they knew it was in the garage.

Edward stepped ahead of her then slowly opened the door to Jasper's room and flipped on the light. Other than the furniture there was nothing in it and every scrap of his belongings were gone. He looked around for a note of some kind but found nothing and closed the door behind him.

Bella stood silently with tears streaming down her face as he approached her and quietly took her in his arms, gently swaying her back and forth. "It'll be okay Bells."

She sniffled and nodded her head, then pulled out of his embrace. "I know. I don't know why I'm letting this get to me like this. I'm going to go lay down."

Quietly walking into her room, she slipped on some pajama pants and a tank top then crawled in the bed, closing her eyes as she rolled onto her side and snuggled into the pillow when her hand cut on a piece of paper, folded on top of the comforter.

Bella frowned and sat up in the bed, slowly opening the paper, not quite sure what to expect.

_Bells,_

_I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry. I know there's absolutely nothing I can say that will make this go away or make you forget what I did but I wasn't lying when I told you how much you mean to me. _

_I hope you can forgive me but I'm not expecting that or anything else. I betrayed your trust and I knew exactly what I was doing when I did it. I'm not going to make excuses. You're far too good for me and I hope you're happy with whoever you end up with. Just make sure they aren't as big of a jackass as I am._

_I suppose I'll see you around the track, if you even want to have anything to do with me._

_I'm sorry and I love you,_

_Jasper_

_PS. Tell Edward I'll call him in a few days._

She closed her eyes and buried herself deeper into the bed, hoping the mounds of down would drown out the pain that she felt. As much as she didn't want to care about Jasper at that moment she did and the only thing she could think of was his arms around her and the musky scent of his cologne.

She could smell it in her pillows and blankets and no amount of self control could block it out.

It was funny how she'd told Emmett she couldn't seem to make up her mind about Jasper and Edward then this happens. Giving her the freedom to do what she wanted. She wasn't tied to Jasper in the first place but she'd felt this sense of responsibility where they were concerned.

Now she was free to choose and she didn't know what the hell she wanted because all that she could think of right then was how painful it was to have your heart ripped out and stomped on and still care enough about the person that did it to want them back.


	17. Chapter 16

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_****__Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. All characters belong to the wonderful Mrs. Meyer and anything else belongs to NASCAR._

_****__AN: Its short but its an extra chapter so don't complain! I've also posted a Jasper/Bella short called Sweet Surrender as well as a little short called If You See Him that you should also check out when you get a minute._

* * *

Chapter Sixteen

Bella and Edward rushed through the garage area with Kellen in tow as they hurried to get to pit road before it was time for him to qualify.

They walked towards the car and he gave Kellen a quick kiss on the cheek and checked his ear plugs and headphones before handing him over to Bella, who went to stand with Emmett to watch the qualifying laps.

"Have you seen qualifying before?" Emmett asked as she cringed when Edward started his car.

She shook her head. "No. I spent Daytona holed up in the coach or at the playground. I'm really not much of a fan."

Emmett shook his head. "You'll be one before too long. Are you doin okay? Have you seen Jasper yet?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I haven't seen him so maybe I'll be able to avoid him the rest of the weekend and it won't be a problem." They watched as Edward flew past them starting his first lap. "You see Daddy, Kel Kel," she asked, smiling when the little boy started bouncing in her arms and clapping as Edward went by them again.

"Da…"

"What?! Oh my God…Emmett! Did you hear that?!"

Emmett started laughing. "Yeah… Edward's going to be so mad that he missed that."

The next time Edward's car went by Kellen started bouncing and clapping again. "Da!"

Bella shook her head unable to contain her smile as she watched Edward pull down pit road and into the garage. "What's he got?" she asked Emmett, not really sure where to look.

"Looks like he's in the top ten right now but we've still got a lot of guys left to qualify including me and I'm going to kick some ass."

She frowned. "Language."

"Oh for God's sake Bells, he's wearing ear plugs."

Edward jogged up to them and grabbed Kellen out of Bella's arms. "Who are you harassing? My baby or my nanny?"

"Both."

"Oh Edward! You're not going to bel…"

"Da!" Kellen squealed and began bouncing in Edward's arms. "Da! Da!"

Edward couldn't contain his laughter. "Oh my God! That's awesome… When did he start that?"

"When you drove by, he knows your car." Bella laughed watching the interaction between the two of them. "He clapped every time you drove by."

"Bella…"

The group grew quiet as all eyes turned to Jasper, who'd managed to approach them without being noticed. His avaitor's solidly covered his eyes so once again no emotion could be detected.

"Yeah?" she asked with a hint of uncertainty in her voice.

"Can we talk?"

Edward quickly cut between them. "Jasper why don't you just go do your thing right now. Give her time to deal with…"

"It's alright Edward."

He cast a worried glance at her. "You sure?"

She nodded. "Yeah. Do I need to take Kellen with me?"

"Nah. I got him. I've got to see what else I can get him to say." He winked at her and he and Emmett walked back towards pit road.

"So Kellen's talking now? " Jasper asked, smiling. " A lot happens in a week."

Bella nodded and turned to walk to the drivers' lot. "Yeah, a little bit. What do you want to talk to me about?"

"Can you slow down?"

"No. I can't."

Jasper sighed heavily and jogged to catch up with her. "Bells, listen."

She stopped and turned to look at him as she crossed her arms over her chest. "What? What is there that you can possibly say to make any difference to me?"

"I love you."

She rolled her eyes and kept walking. "Nice way of showing it," she mumbled as she continued towards her coach.

"Bells!" he called, grabbing her arm and spinning her around to face him. "Look I'm sorry alright. I have no excuse for what I did but I swear to God I love you more than anything in the world."

Bella looked down at her arms where he held her and his thumb gently rubbed over her skin before looking at his face. "Take off your glasses."

"What?"

"Take off your glasses, Jasper," she repeated, sounding a little irritated.

He nodded and slipped his glasses into his hair. "Okay, now what?"

"Tell me that you love me."

"I did."

She shook her head. "No. Say exactly what you said a minute ago and look me in the eye when you do it."

He closed his eyes for a second and pulled her hands into his. "All of it?"

"All of it, starting with the apology."

Jasper looked her in the eyes, his gaze searching hers before he finally spoke. "I'm sorry. I have no excuse for what I did. And I swear to God I love you more than anything else in this world."

Bella watched him. His gaze never faltered, his eyes never strayed from hers and the sincerity in his voice seemed to reach out and pull at her heart. "Okay."

"Okay? Okay what?"

She reached up and placed her hand against his cheek, rubbing her thumb over his full bottom lip. "Just give me a couple of days okay. I need some time to think through this. You really hurt me."

He nodded and looked down at their hands then fell to his knees and wrapped his arms around her waist as he buried his face in her stomach.

Neither of them paid any attention to the crowd they'd drawn or the numerous eyes that watched them in confusion and curiosity. "Jasper, get up."

He placed a kiss to the thin expanse of skin that showed beneath the hem of her t-shirt and stood, surprised when she met him with a gentle coaxing kiss. "Just give me time."

With those words, she pulled away and left him to watch her walk back to her coach.

"I hope you don't screw up this time because I will personally castrate you if you do…" A voice called from behind.

Jasper rolled his eyes. "Alice, do you have anything better to do than aggravate me?"

She shrugged and walked up to him, slipping her arm through his. "Not really, but you can help me make James jealous. Come on."

* * *

Edward and Emmett watched Jasper and Alice walk by them back towards his Nationwide garage not quite sure what had happened but he didn't seem to be too upset.

"What the hell is she doing?" Emmett grumbled as they set off behind them, keeping a good distance between themselves and the couple in front of them.

Jasper and Alice slowed just outside of the 13 garage and Emmett and Edward stepped back to watch what was happening without being seen.

Emmett squinted his eyes as he watched Alice slip her hand into Jasper's and turn around to face him, blatantly flirting with him as he smiled back at her and rubbed his hand up her arm. "Please tell me I'm seeing things. Why the hell would she mess around with him after the other night?" he asked turning to look at Edward, who was doing his best to withhold his laughter. "What's so funny?!"

"You can't tell what she's doing?"

"Yeah, she's becoming the Nationwide whore!"

Edward laughed and rolled his eyes. "No she isn't. Look who's standing in the doorway of that stall watching them…"

Emmett leaned a little further out to get a closer look and saw James with his arms crossed over his chest and an extremely irritated look on his face. "She's using Jasper to get to James? Oh dear God, why did I ever agree to let her work with me at the track?"

"Because all she had to do was bat those big blue eyes at you and you caved." Edward stuck his tongue out at Emmett and watched as James walked over and tapped Alice on the shoulder and Jasper quickly excused himself and headed back towards them. "We need to disperse… he's coming."

Emmett rolled his eyes. "I'm not dispersing shit. I'm walking down to that garage and pulling Alice away from James by her lips."

Edward grabbed him as he started towards them. "Leave her alone Emmett. He's harmless. If he hurts her, we'll break his legs but until then, let her have some fun. She's eighteen let her live a little."

"I don't know when you became the all wise one but I want the other reality back. This one's giving me nightmares."

"How do you think I felt the first time I walked in on you and Rosie in my living room? You wanna talk about nightmares? I was in therapy for months. No one should see that much of their baby sister with a man. That's all I have to say about that. Whatever happens you better pray that you never walk in on what I did. You're lucky to still have all of your body parts attached. If I didn't love Rose so much and want her to be happy you can bet your sweet ass your ball sack would be hanging from my trailer hitch."


	18. Chapter 17

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_****__AN: So my dog decided last night that she was going to climb onto the kitchen counter and eat and entire leg quarter while my husband and I weren't home. Do you know how chicken bones and dog's dont agree? Unfortunately it's not the first time she's gotten into chicken but we've never really had any problems with her before so we just kept and eye on her. Everything seemed fine until we got in bed and she started choking. She choked for a good half hour before finally throwing up some nasty ass shit. Thought she was okay after that and then it started up AGAIN. We ended up taking her to the emergency clinic but as soon as the leash was on her to go somewhere the choking stopped. And after sitting at the clinic waiting to see the vet for and hour and half we finally just left. She slept fine all night and we took her to the vet for observation on the way to work this morning. I'm not upset that my dog appears to be okay, I'm upset that I sat at the emergency clinic until 1 this morning and didn't even see a freaking vet!_

**Anyway... This chapter's a bit short, not as short as yesterday's second chapter but short. You will be getting another update today because I'm a nice person. Now... no matter what happens in this chapter and a few others, I WILL SAY THIS ONE LAST TIME!!!**

**THIS IS AN EDWARD / BELLA FANFIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**I can't tell you guys that enough apparently because I'm still getting worrisome messages regarding that fact. There's a path I'm taking for a reason so please just bear with me! If you don't like how I'm writing this story, you don't have to read it but I've got it written and you'll just have to bear with me to get to where we're going but I PROMISE YOU THEY WILL HAVE THERE MOMENT! As will Alice and Jasper.**

**No...r & r please and thanks.**

_****__Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. All characters belong to the wonderful Mrs. Meyer and anything else belongs to NASCAR._

* * *

Chapter Seventeen

_Two Months later_

_"Oh Edwar …" she whispered as his lips gently caressed her neck then rose higher to run his tongue along her ear._

_Her body shuddered against him as his fingers gently worked their way beneath her shirt and lightly scraped against her side. "God you feel good…" he murmured against her lips before breeching the barrier and forcing his tongue into her mouth._

_She moaned as he plundered her mouth leaving no area untouched. "Edward please…" she purred as he took one firm breast into his hand, gently kneading it as he rubbed his thumb over her nipple, teasing it into hardened peak. "I want your mouth on me…"_

_Edward smiled and easily pulled her shirt over her head before he rose over her and swirled his tongue around the pert tip. _

_Her hand reached between them, casually slipping inside of his boxers to stroke his length. "Not yet Bells…"_

"What the hell…" Edward panted as he wiped the sweat from his forehead and tossed the sheets aside. He slowly got up and went into the bathroom, doing his best to relieve his frustration without thinking about the dream he'd just had.

He knew his feelings towards Bella had been growing but he sure as hell hadn't expected that. Sure he found her attractive but she'd never once crossed his mind in a sexual way until that dream and it scared the hell out of him.

All he could think was that he'd been spending too much time with her and it had been a very, very long time since he'd been with a woman. It had been six months since Paige had died and they hadn't been intimate for a good 6 months prior to that because of her illness. The fact of the matter was, he'd been on edge since he and Bella had stayed at the cabin two months ago when he'd practically forced himself on her because he'd been thinking about Paige and got caught up in the moment.

In all honesty, he was lucky that she hadn't freaked out on him and quit. But he wasn't going to rush things or have a one night stand with her because he was horny. He had a hand and he'd deal with it on his own until he felt he was ready to move on.

Edward washed his hands and walked back into the bedroom, noticing it was barely past midnight. He'd definitely been sleeping a lot easier lately and all in all he'd been more content than he had since Paige died.

Grabbing a beer out of the refrigerator, he walked into the living room and turned on the tv as he sat in the recliner. Not twenty minutes later there was a soft knock on the door that he had to mute the tv to hear.

He opened the door to find Alice standing there with her mouth hanging open as her gaze roamed his barely clad body. "What are you doing here? Does Emmett know you're out?"

She shook her head and stepped into the coach. "I couldn't sleep."

"So why'd you come over here?" he asked putting his beer down on the counter on his way to the bedroom. "I'll be right back."

Edward pulled on a shirt and a pair of pajama pants then went back to join her. "Now why'd you come here again?"

"I saw your light on, figured you'd be up. You didn't have to get dressed on my account," she shrugged.

"Yes the hell I did." He took another swig of his beer and watched her for a minute. "I just got up. I was sleeping. Is Emmett going to yell at me for you being over here?"

"Don't know. Don't care."

Edward laughed. "Well I do. He may be my friend but he can bench press three of me on a good day and I don't want my ass kicked for harboring a runaway, especially you."

"Oh shut up. I'm not a runaway. I just couldn't sleep. And Emmett can kiss my ass. I'm tired of him telling me what I can do."

"He jumped on you about James didn't he?"

Alice looked at him in surprise. "How'd you know?"

"We saw you messin' around with Jasper trying to make James jealous. Obviously it worked."

She rolled her eyes and got up to get something to drink, pulling a beer out of the fridge. Edward gave her a warning look and she put it back and pulled out a coke. "Oh it worked alright. I was supposed to meet up with him after practice but Emmett freaking locked me in the coach and wouldn't let me leave."

"Well how'd you get here?"

"He had a hot date with your sister so I just got up and walked out."

Edward frowned. "Alright well, get up and walk out of here and go to James'. Just don't tell Emmett I told you to."

"James' coach will be the first place he looks."

Edward groaned and leaned his head back. "Alliicce. I'm tired."

She smiled and stood up, walking over to him. "Want me to help you relax?" She gave him a soft smile and he slowly closed his eyes. He couldn't believe she was coming on to him.

"No. I'm very relaxed. I just need to go get back in bed."

She pouted and ran her hand down his chest. "You sure…"

Edward hissed as her hand brushed over his crotch and quickly grabbed her wrists and stood up. "I really think you need to leave now little girl before you have to deal with something you can't handle."

"Oh I can handle a lot more than you think I can." Alice looked up at him through heavy eyes and reached down between them cupping him in her hand. "Now do you think you can handle me?"

He closed his eyes as his breathing grew heavier and he leaned back against the wall. "We don't need to do this…"

"You sure feel like you need to do something."

Before either of them could say anything else, Edward reached down and locked the door then turned and picked her up, forcing his mouth to hers. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he laid her down on the sofa. "This is a one-time deal Ali. I want you to know that so if you don't think you can handle it, tell me now."

She smiled and slowly batted her lashes at him. "I can handle it. Now fuck me, Edward ."

* * *

Edward rolled over and fell face first on the floor of his coach, quickly waking up at the pain that shot through his nose. He looked around searching for Alice, making sure she'd left, knowing Esme would be letting herself in any minute now.

He stood up and slipped on his pajama pants and straightened the living room, trying to get rid of any evidence of the night's events. He couldn't believe what he'd done. He knew for damn sure he wouldn't be able to look Emmett in the eye for days and especially Alice. She was twelve years younger than him for Pete's sake.

He hurried to get a shower and hoped it didn't smell like sex in his coach and quickly checked on Kellen who was still sleeping peacefully.

"Edward ?"

He looked through his coach to see Bella step inside and waved at her. "I'll be there in a minute." He hurriedly dressed and went back into the bathroom to brush his teeth, unable to look at himself in the mirror as the feeling of guilt settled heavy in his stomach and he knew there was no way he'd be able to get through the rest of the day without having a breakdown.

When he joined Bella in the living room, she was sitting in the recliner in some old blue jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt with a line drawn monkey on the front. "Emmett's going to love your shirt," he commented as he put his shoes on.

She looked at him confused. "Why?"

"He doesn't remind you of a monkey?"

Bella frowned and shrugged. "Nooo, must have missed that one." She watched Edward put on his shoes and her eye caught the edge of a piece of paper sticking out from under the couch. "What's this?"

She leaned forward and pulled out the paper only to find an opened and empty condom wrapper. Her eyes fell on Edward's reddened face and she opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. "Um… I… I'll just throw this away."

"It's not what you think…"

She smiled and looked at him. "Edward, you don't owe me any explanations. You're my boss remember? We're nothing more than that. I just hope it was good for you."

"We're friends, Bells, you don't just work for me."

Bella nodded. "But you still don't owe me an explanation. You're a man who has needs and your wife's been dead for six months. It's understandable. You still love her but you have physical needs."

Edward nodded and looked down at the floor. "Just don't say anything to anyone about it okay…"

"It's not my place to. Mind if I ask if it was just some random girl or someone you know?"

"It was someone I know, but I'm not proud of it. I don't even know why I did it to be honest with you. I may have needs but my hand works just as well as anything else."

Bella giggled. "Thanks for the overshare."

He shrugged. "Sorry."

She stepped up to him and slipped her arms around his waist, resting her head against his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her. "You know if you ever need to talk, I'm here… that includes talking about the guilt I know you feel right now."

He pulled back and looked at her with questioning eyes.

"There's always guilt the first time. Whether it's because you feel that you've betrayed your wife or because you feel like you betrayed yourself and the person you were with. There's guilt."

Edward pushed a stray hair out of her face and placed his hand on her cheek then pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. "Thank you."


	19. Chapter 18

_****__AN: So they called from the vet and Emma hasn't had any problems today so thats a good thing._

**Now then... I just have a quick note so that all of you don't get frustrated with me because of the contents of this chapter. The Edward / Bella thing will start to pick up big time within the next 3 chapters no matter what happens in this one. Please keep this in mind. You guys know I have to have my drama and what kind of author would I be if things fell into place immediately. Sure that's happened or close to happened in my other stories but the villain of memories is exactly that. It's not some person trying to keep them apart the antagonist of this story is the death of their spouses. That's what's keeping them apart.**

**E/B is just a few chapters away. I promise I promise! ENJOY! R & R!**

_****__Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. All characters belong to the wonderful Mrs. Meyer and anything else belongs to NASCAR._

* * *

Chapter Eighteen

Edward managed to avoid Emmett and Alice for the rest of the day and kept Bella and Kellen close at his side. Suddenly, she'd become his security blanket and he refused to be away from her for too long.

They sat in the chairs outside of their coaches later that night after they'd gotten Kellen to bed. Edward drank beer and watched people walking by while Bella read one of the Harry Potter books.

"How can you read something that thick?" he asked out of nowhere.

"Because it's good," she replied without pulling her gaze away from the book.

Edward scooted his chair closer and tried to look over her shoulder. "It's a kid's book."

"Not it's not."

"It's Harry Potter!"

Bella groaned and looked at him. "Do you really care or are you upset that I'm not paying attention to you?"

He shrugged and smiled. "You're not paying attention to me."

She shook her head and laughed. "You're pitiful. I swear sometimes I think you're three instead of thirty."

"Sometimes I wish I was three instead of thirty. I wouldn't have all of this shit to deal with."

Bella frowned at him. "Yes you would, it'd just be twenty-seven years down the road. At least you're getting it over with now."

"Quit being so smart all the time." He watched her as she went back to reading her book and reached over and took her free hand in his.

She smiled to herself and kept reading, not making a big deal out of his actions. They'd formed some kind of bond that morning that neither one of them could explain and neither wanted to. They'd found a comfortable medium with each other where they could be themselves and not worry about anyone else or what they thought. He asked her about her first time with another man after her husband died, a bit curious because he knew that she hadn't dated anyone besides Jasper since the accident. She hadn't given him any names but informed him that it too, was a one-time thing, with a man that she'd met in her grief counseling group about six or seven months after Jake died. The man's wife had passed around the same time as her husband and they found solace in each other for one night and never spoke again.

"Hey guys…"

They looked up as Emmett wandered over, pulling up a chair to join them. "Hey Em. What's up?" Bella asked, putting her book down in her lap to mark her spot.

"Now why did you put your book down for him?" Edward whined receiving a very dramatic roll of the eyes from Bella.

"Has he been like this all night?"

"Try all day. He's like a leech."

Emmett laughed. "Mind if I have a beer?"

Edward just waved it off. "Nope… I have an endless supply."

Emmett went inside to get a beer and came back out to find Edward with his head resting on Bella's shoulder as she read. "So is this story time or something?"

"Nah, just not ready to go to sleep yet." Bella responded, watching Emmett for a minute. "What's wrong? You haven't been yourself today."

"I'm just pissed all to hell. I caught Alice fucking James last night."

The moment the words Alice and fucking came out of Emmett's mouth, Edward spit his beer all over the place, spraying both Bella and Emmett in a fine sheen of Bud.

"Jesus Edward!" Emmett growled.

"Sorry. You caught them?"

Emmett shrugged. "Well not physically but I caught her sneaking in around 3 this morning and she smelled like sex."

"Well… what'd she say? Did you confront her about it?"

"Hell yes I did but she won't budge. Her lips have been sealed shut since she got there so she's locked in the bedroom and not going anywhere."

Bella watched the interaction between Emmett and Edward curiously before she spoke. "Emmett, she's a legal adult, you can't lock her up."

"Yes I can! I'm responsible for her. I swear to God when we get back home, I'm not bringing her back out with me. I can't handle this. The stress of trying to win a race and wondering whether or not your little sister is out screwing the first driver she finds can't possibly be safe at 180 miles an hour."

"She's not little, in the age since," she said. "I swear you guys are ridiculous. Just because we're younger or smaller than you… doesn't mean that we aren't old enough to make our own decisions."

"But she smelled like sex!"

"She's eighteen, Emmett! Deal with it. We grow up sooner or later. At least she's messing around with someone that you know and can keep an eye on, not some random guy she just picked up on the street."

He sighed and rolled his neck. "Whatever. I'm going to bed. I'm not letting her out of my sight her chastity belt arrives."

Bella watched closely until Emmett was out of sight and earshot then hauled off and popped Edward on the arm with the back of her hand.

"Ow! What the hell was that for!?" he cried as he rubbed the whelp forming on his arm.

Her eyes grew wide. "You fucked Alice!" she practically hissed. "What the hell were you thinking?!"

"I didn't!"

"Don't lie to me Edward!"

"I'm not lying! I really wasn't thinking…"

"Oh my God…" she started laughing. "That's so freaking hilarious."

"Why is it hilarious?"

Bella just shook her head and rolled her eyes. "You let an eighteen year old girl that's half your size take advantage of you. That's just classic." She closed up her chair and marked her book.

"Don't tell …"

"I'm not going to. But I am going to bug you about it every single day for the rest of your life."

"You wouldn't," he gasped as though the idea disgusted him.

"I so would. Anyway, I'm going to bed Edward. I'll see you in the morning." She bent down and pressed a kiss to his forehead then went inside of her coach and closed the door, shaking her head all the way.

* * *

_A week later_

Bella sat on the front porch, rocking Kellen to sleep while she waited for Edward to get home. It was just past seven and he'd said he'd be home an hour ago. As much as she hated to admit it, she was worried.

He'd gone to his mother's to pick up some food she'd bought entirely too much of and decided they'd needed it.

She closed her eyes as a truck turned up the driveway and waited for the headlights to get past her before opening them just in time to see Edward hop out of the truck with two loads of bags wrapped around his hands. "Good Lord, does she think she's feeding an army or something?"

"Hey, I'm a growing boy."

"No you're not," she laughed as she followed him inside. "I'm going to run put Kellen to bed." She walked upstairs and kissed his forehead then put him in his crib and turned out the light before rejoining Edward downstairs.

She walked into the kitchen to help him unload the bags when they heard a knock on the screen door.

"Come in!" Edward called, receiving a pop on the back of the head from Bella. "Damnit Gibbs!"

Bella stuck her tongue out at his reference to NCIS. "You're going to get yourself shot one day doing that."

Edward rolled his eyes. "Or laid."

"Hey guys…" Jasper said nervously as he slowly walked further into the room.

"Hey…" Edward said casting a nervous glance at Bella.

She smiled and walked around the bar towards Jasper. "Hey."

"Can we talk?"

Bella nodded and walked towards the door. "I'll be back in a little while, Edward." She held the door open for Jasper and walked with him out to his truck. "All we ever do is talk anymore…"

"We've got a lot to talk about." Jasper glanced over at her, noticing how happy she was for the first time since he'd met her. "I guess things are going well here?"

She shrugged. "Yeah, couldn't be better."

He walked ahead of her and opened the door to his truck, helping her in before getting in on his side then they silently pulled out of the driveway and drove down the street to the little road that led to Jasper's hiding place.

Pulling to a stop he turned off the car but left the lights on and got out, hurrying around the car to help Bella out as well before taking her head and leading her to the lakeside. "You're not going to drown me are you?"

He frowned and shook his head as he sat and pulled her down next to him, then her turned toward her and took her hand in his. "Bella, I know you told me to give you a few days but it's been two months… And I've tried, really I have but I really have to know what's going on here because I'm about to go crazy."

She watched him. "What do you want to know?"

"If there's still a possibility of us…"

Bella looked down at the ground before looking up at him. "There's still a possibility of us… but you've got a lot to do to prove yourself to me again."

He nodded. "I know. I know… Just tell me. I'll do anything."

She reached out and ran her hand over the front of his t-shirt before forcefully grabbing a handful of it. "You can start off by kissing me…"

Jasper smiled and leaned forward, pulling her close so that she straddled his lap as his mouth bruised hers and his tongue broke through the moist barrier of her lips.

She pulled away from him and looked down into his heavy eyes. "This is your last chance Jasper. You screw up one more time and it's over. The only reason I'm even doing this is because we weren't officially together so you better make this official right now or its over before it starts."

He smiled at her. "Bella Black, will you be my girlfriend?"

"One and only?"

"One and only?"

"You're aware of what that means right?"

He pursed his lips and sighed. "Yes."

"Okay. Yes. I will be your girlfriend."

"Great…" he leaned up to kiss her but she placed her finger to his lips.

"So long as you keep your pants zipped and your tongue in your mouth…"

He frowned. "Have you been talking to Alice?"

"No why? Did you fuck her too?"

"Um… no. She just said the same thing to me."

Bella shrugged. "Oh…"

Before either said another word, Bella wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and lowered her mouth to his.


	20. Chapter 19

__

_****__AN: Alrighty people... time for the fun to get started! Maybe after this chapter you'll all stop getting on my case about my love of throwing in J/B and E/A. I can't let you guys get too comfortable now can I? And again, if you can't read my author's notes at the beginning of each chapter DON'T ASK ME QUESTIONS! I answer them in the notes._

**___And here's some interesting news for today, my friend called me this morning to tell me her husband went out around 7:15 this morning to start his car and there was a man in their yard hunched over and bleeding to death. He'd cut his wrists and throat. Talk about a lovely way to wake up in the morning. I'm sure she'll be having nightmares for weeks. Things like that just do not happen in the neighborhood we live in. The most excitement we get is a car accident._**

**Anywho... I'll be waiting for the outpouring of love from you guys after this chapter so please R & R! :D**

**___Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. All characters belong to the wonderful Mrs. Meyer and anything else belongs to NASCAR._**

* * *

Chapter Nineteen

A few weeks later Bella woke up late and stumbled into Kellen's room around nine, wondering why he hadn't woken up yet, only to find he wasn't in his crib. She yawned and walked down the hall to Edward's room to find him gone as well and his bed made.

With a frown of confusion she scratched her head and padded down stairs to find the front door open and Edward sitting on the front steps.

"What're you doin?" she murmured as she walked out and sat one step down in front of him.

He shrugged. "Just watching Kellen play," he sighed as they both looked on. The little boy was sitting in a ring of little cars making engine noises as he drove them over little rocks and mounds of dirt he'd made.

"Do you have any idea how dirty his fingernails are going to be?"

Edward chuckled. "Nope but you will when you're cleaning them out."

She looked up at him and stuck out her tongue.

"You do it again and I'll grab it and won't let go." He ruffled her already mussed hair, smiling to himself as she leaned her head on his knee. "What time you'd get home last night?"

Bella shrugged. "Not that late, I guess around eleven but your old ass was already in bed…"

"You're almost as old as me remember. I've only got two years on you so I don't wanna hear it…" His hand hovered over her hair before deciding to gently comb it with his fingers then gradually deepen the pressure and massage her scalp. "I guess things are going well with Jasper then?"

She smiled and wrapped her arm around his leg as she leaned into his touch. "So far, he knows I'm only giving him one chance and that's it. I'm not putting up with shit anymore and the only reason I'm even doing that is because weren't 'officially' together to begin with."

"Officially together or not, it was the wrong thing to do. I just want you to be careful. He's younger than you and priorities in life aren'…

Bella pulled away and turned around to look at him. "Do you really want to get me started on who is younger?"

Edward saw the tight purse of her lips and raised his hands in surrender. "Sorry… I'll shut up."

"Now go back to what you were doing and I'll be putty in your hands in no time…"

He laughed. "Damn! Is that all it takes? Here I thought being the compassionate 'friend' was the way to get in your pants."

She pinched the inside of his thigh. "Shut the he… heck up…" she laughed, as he yelped in pain. "Now rub…"

They sat in silence for a little while longer and suddenly her curiosity got the best of her. "Edward?"

"Hmmm…"

Bella turned around to face him, looking into his expectant gaze. "I know it's none of my business and it happened months ago but why Alice?"

"Bells, I thought we weren't talking about this…"

"Well I can't help it. I'm just curious. Why Alice?"

"Why Jasper?" He replied.

She shook her head. "Don't turn this around on me. Jasper and I had been trying to build something since I got here. Plus he's only a few years younger than me. I just want to know, why a girl who's barely older than half your age? You can have any woman you want. "

Edward looked down at the stairs pulling his hand away from her, suddenly interested in the grain of the wood. "Can I?"

Bella felt a chill rush through her body as Edward's words hit her with a force she hadn't expected. "I'm sorry that was out of line." She wasn't sure if he meant anything by them but it made her anxious just the same. The tone of his voice and those two simple words made her want to rethink every decision she'd made since she'd gotten there. "What I mean is… I mean…"

He leaned forward on his knees bringing his face within inches of hers. "I can't have any woman I want because I only want one woman and she's not free for me to take. Not _everyone_ can have what they want, especially me."

She flinched and stood up. "I… uh… I… I'm going to go fix some breakfast…" His words stung and she was better off walking away and biting her tongue right now because she couldn't promise she wouldn't say something in return that would get her fired and she needed this job.

Edward watched her walk inside silently cursing himself for what he'd said. During the last few months Bella had become his best friend. They'd gotten to the point where they'd fallen into a comfortable routine. He felt he could talk to her about anything knowing that she'd be honest and straightforward in her response. Now he'd gone and said something stupid. Not only that, he'd had no reason to even bring it up. She just made him so damn mad questioning him about Alice that he had to get the heat off of him and make her leave him alone and that's exactly what he'd done. Hopefully she wouldn't read into the real meaning of his words.

In all honesty, he couldn't answer why Alice other than the fact that she was there when he needed her to be. He felt like a dirty old man for what he'd done, whether she was legal or not.

She'd just been willing and he was needy.

He picked up Kellen, groaning in frustration as the child began to scream because he wanted to play some more and went inside to wash his hands. He went into the bathroom and sat him on the counter then grabbed some wet wipes out of the cabinet, all the while listening to Bella bang around in the kitchen.

Between the noise Bella was making and Kellen's whining, he was quickly getting a headache and before too long he was going to have to get out of there. Due to the fact that he couldn't keep his mouth shut when he needed to, things were about to get really awkward around the house and he didn't know what he could do to take it back.

Edward walked into the living room and put Kellen in his playpen before inching his way into the kitchen to try to talk to Bella.

He stood watching her for a few minutes, her back was to him as she dug through the cabinets and every so often she would brush her hand across her face. "Bells?"

She stopped what she was doing and looked down at the counter. "What?" she asked bitterly, surprising Edward with the harshness in her voice.

"Look… I'm sor…"

Bella whirled around and looked at him with red, puffy eyes. "I'm so mad at you right now I can't even see straight. Where the hell do you get off saying that to me?"

"I didn't…"

"No, don't tell me you didn't mean it or you didn't mean to. I'm tired of you guys doing and saying stuff and then telling me later it didn't mean anything. Don't you think if I got everything that I wanted my husband and son would be with me right now? I sure as hell wouldn't be working for you."

Edward sighed and slid onto one of the bar stools, this was going to be a long apology. "I don't know why I said it…"

"Well people don't normally blurt things like that out unless they mean them…"

He shook his head. "I don't know why I said it. I guess I'm just jealous alright. It's hard for me to sit here and watch everyone move on with their lives but me. I want to move on. Paige would want me to move on, she'd have my ass for sitting around moping about life instead of going out and finding someone to make me happy."

Bella ran her hands over her face in frustration. "Edward, it's taken me three years to move on. No one expects you to just jump back into your life. And it doesn't help that you're making me feel guilty about it."

"How am I making you feel guilty? I didn't do anything."

"Because I have an obligation to you and Kellen and trying to have a personal life gets in the way of that. Hell it even said on the ad _single female_. I just don't know how I'm going to do this. It absolutely sucks… For the first time in years I feel good. I'm not walking around with my head down trying to avoid getting close to people because they're not going to be there in the end. I owe a lot of that to you and Kellen. You guys have made me feel like I'm a part of your family and you don't know how much that means to me. And that is exactly why I feel guilty because sometimes I have to get away from you guys and relax and right now, I want to try to spend that time with Jasper and see if this is even worth it."

She sat in the chair next to Edward and put her head on the counter.

He frowned and reached out, gently rubbing his hand over her back. "It's fine. Don't feel guilty because I know we can be a handful. And Jasper can move back in if you want," he said, hoping she wouldn't agree with it.

"No…" She shook her head. "No, I don't want him moving back in here because after what happened I'm not sure I fully trust him or if I ever will and him being here all the time will just make it that much more difficult if things don't work out."

"Bells…"

"What did you mean? Outside when you said that the one woman that you wanted wasn't free for you? Were you talking about Paige?"

She stared straight ahead refusing to look at him as she waited for his answer. She wanted so badly for him to say yes but a part of her wanted him to tell her he wanted her. What she would do about it if he did say no she wasn't sure now that Jasper was back in the picture.

But what if he did say yes like she wanted him to? She would still be with Jasper. At least until he screwed up again. Sadly she admitted to herself that it was going to happen. She was inching up on thirty and Jasper had just hit his peak. There was no way she was going to make him happy, no matter how much she thought she could or how much he tried. They were from two entirely different worlds and neither fit in the other.

"No…"

Bella took a deep breath quickly looking at Edward as the near silent word fell from his lips. "What?"

"I said no. I wasn't talking about Paige. It's only been six months and I know that maybe that seems sudden but…" Edward searched her face slowly inching forward, stopping when his mouth was within an inch of hers. "I was talking about you…"

"Hey guys!" Jasper yelled as he walked through the front door, slamming the screen closed behind him.

Bella and Edward jumped apart quickly and she started towards the living room. "I'll go get Kellen."

"What's up?" Jasper said, slapping Edward on the back as he walked into the kitchen to grab something to drink. When he turned around Edward was nearly boring a hole through him with his eyes. "Dude… what's wrong with you?"

Edward just shook his head and clinched his jaw. "I swear if you hurt her again I'm going to beat you within an inch of your life Jasper. You don't deserve her and you sure as hell don't deserve another chance."


	21. Chapter 20

_****__AN: THIS IS THE FIRST UPDATE FOR THE DAY!!! I don't want to leave you guys hangin all weekend so I'm going to post chapter 21 before I leave work today, most likely around 5 pm est. Please keep this in mind as you read this chapter and also remember that you love me! :P I promise the last chapter of the week will redeem me._

**_Now for the not so great news...u_**_****__nfortunately, I'm the sole graphic artist for a hardware distributor and we have a market coming up the first week in March. That means I'll be spending the next month printing, binding, and cutting show books amongst other things so you may or may not get your daily updates from me but I plan on updating a few times if nothing else, I'll also do my best to give you the weekly updates on White Flag. _

_****__I have 300, 250-page books to print, bind and cut to mail out on Feb. 3 and I don't even have the information that is supposed to go in the books as of yet so I'm probably going to be working 12 hour shifts next week (without compensation...stupid salary) so please bear with me. I will most likely be away from my desk and computer a majority of the time. I will go ahead tell you that there will be no updates on Feb. 23 (on vacay with the hubby) or between on March 5-8th because of our market. Other than that I plan on sticking to the schedule._

**_One more thing... where this chapter picks up it's been 8 months since Paige died in case you guys are getting confused with all of the skipping around. I have to jump forward a bit to give Edward coping time. And I know for some of you it's hard to believe that he could move on so fast but even though he was devastated by his wife's death, she had been sick for 9 months before she died. Even though he still loves her and misses her, when you have time to prepare for the inevitable in that situation things can move on a bit more quickly that if you lose someone suddenly. That's why it took Bella 3 years to move on and nearly 6 months for him. His mourning began long before his wife died. And before you ask, I had some very close friends that got married and she found out 2 months later she had luekemia. She went through treatments for over a year and died the following July. Her husband was married by the next July. I know that he loved her more than life itself so that made it more bearable for me, although it didn't help that he tried to move on with me at first, I had huge issues with that but I knew his wife, but like I said, when you have time and expect it, it doesn't take as long to move on._**

**_Now that I'm done with that rant... R & R and remember you love me! :D_**

**Other than that enjoy! **

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. All characters belong to the wonderful Mrs. Meyer and anything else belongs to NASCAR.** _

* * *

Chapter Twenty

Bella put Kellen down for a nap then went outside to get some sun, closing only the screen behind her. She grabbed a bottle of water out of the cooler and sat in her lounge chair pulling out her book, happy that Edward was on the track practicing instead of leaning over her shoulder. That seemed to be the only time she could get anything done.

Jasper had been by on his way to the garage to say hello and see what she was doing. To say they were taking it slow would be an understatement.

They hadn't so much as kissed since the night that they'd gotten back together nearly two months before and she rarely if ever spent time alone with him. He came over to Edward's a few times a week, one night to race online and the other to spend time with her but they never did much more than talk and watch a movie or swim. He'd taken her out to eat a few times but it never felt like they were dating.

As much as she wanted to try to work on things with him, she couldn't get past what she'd walked in on. She'd tried but when it really came down to it, she wasn't so much mad at him. She was mad at herself.

Ever since Edward had made his feelings for her known things had been weird between her and Jasper. And it wasn't fully her doing. Jasper kept a safe distance when in Edward's presence and before long she began to wonder if something was going on that she didn't know about.

"Hey Worm…"

Bella frowned as a shadow fell over her and looked up into the smirking face of Emmett Brandon. "Hey…Why are you calling me worm?"

"Because every time I see you when you aren't working you've got your head buried in a book." He pulled one of Edward's chairs over and sat next to her. "Harry Potter? Still?"

She laughed. "I can't read it when Edward's around or when Kellen's awake so that gives me about 2 hours a week at the most. I may be reading it until I'm eighty. What's up with you? I thought you guys were practicing."

"I'm done. The car's pretty good and I don't want to mess that up so I ran about twenty and quit."

"Is Edward still running?"

"Jasper too," he nodded, taking her water bottle out of her hand and taking a sip. "You okay?"

She shrugged. "Yeah. I'm just emotionally drained but other than that… peachy!"

Emmett watched her strain to smile and frowned. "Things aren't going well with Jasper?"

"Did I hire you as a shrink and not remember?"

He laughed and looked at his watch. "Yup and you have approximately 30 minutes before Jasper and Edward head back. Now what's going on?"

"Absolutely nothing is going on." Bella shook her head and closed her eyes. "I don't know. Jasper and I have been together a little over a month and we are more like close friends that see each other a couple of times a week to hang out and review movies. There's absolutely no relationship there and I know it's my fault just as much as his. I just don't know what to do we're supposed to be dating but it's more like hanging out with my girlfriends or something. For all the action there is between us, Jasper might as well be gay. Not that it's entirely his fault…"

Before she could say anything else, Kellen started crying and she motioned for Emmett to follow her inside.

She got him out of the crib and took him into the living room and sat in the recliner with him so she could look at Emmett as he sat on the sofa. "Anyway I'm not really making much effort to get things going and lately anytime Edward's around you could drive a Hummer between us. That's how close he'll get to me," she shook her head in confusion. "I just don't understand."

"Did Edward say something?"

"To who, me or Jasper?"

Emmett shrugged. "Either…"

She chewed on her bottom lip for a minute debating whether or not to tell Emmett what had happened between her and Edward. So far Emmett had been a great confidante for her. She trusted him and knew that he was the last person that would run their mouth off about what she'd told him. "A few days after Jasper and I officially started dating Edward told me how he felt about me…"

Emmett's eyes widened. "Really?"

"Yeah… we were actually about to kiss and Jasper walked in and that's pretty much when his weird behavior started."

"Did he see you guys?"

She shook her head. "No. I got up and left the room as soon as he walked in, so maybe Edward said something to him."

The sound of Edward's coach door closing caught her attention and she looked at Emmett. "Would you mind watching him for a few minutes? I need to talk to Edward about something…"

Emmett smiled and held his hands out to Kellen. "Not at all, Kellen's my man…" he held up his hand to the little boy who eagerly slapped it with all his might.

Bella laughed at them then went outside, not bothering to knock as she entered Edward's coach. "Edward?"

She frowned as she heard mumbling in the back of the coach followed by a loud thump.

"Edward…" she started back towards the bedroom, jumping in surprise as the door opened and he walked out in a white t-shirt and boxers.

"Bells… um… hey. Is Kell…"

Bella frowned when she saw a movement behind Edward then looked closely at his face. He looked flustered and guilty. "Edward, what are you doing?"

He swallowed hard and crossed his arms over his chest. "Nothing, why?"

"Edward," she said sternly then walked towards him and looked over his shoulder slowly closing her eyes and bowing her head when she saw Alice trying to hide. Turning cold eyes to him she shook her head. "Emmett's in my coach with Kellen so you need to get her out of here…"

Without another word she turned around and left.

"Son of a bitch!" he yelled punching the wall to his left, nearly breaking his hand in the process. "Get dressed and get out of here, Alice…"

Alice hurriedly put on her clothes. "She's going to tell…"

He shook his head. "She knew about the first time. She's not going to tell him. But we can't do this anymore…"

"Anymore, really? We had sex once four months ago and you've hardly spoken to me until today." She started out of the bedroom but stopped and turned to look at him. He had his face buried in his hands and his fingers dug into his scalp. "You're in love with her aren't you?"

Edward looked up at her then slowly looked back at the floor. "It doesn't do much good…"

Alice shook her head and sat next to him. "Why is it every guy I even remotely like is in love with Bella?"

"James isn't…" Edward smiled, receiving a punch in his arm in the process. "Ouch."

"Does she know?"

"She knows I like her. She doesn't know I'm in love with her."

"You think she'll believe you after she just walked in on us?"

Edward shook his head. "It doesn't matter. She's not my girlfriend and she's dating Jasper. She's had two months to break up with him she felt the same for me and she hasn't yet so I don't see how I owe her any explaination."

"Give Jasper time. He'll screw up again soon and you'll be there to help her get over it."

He raised an eyebrow and looked at her. "He better not screw up with you or I'll kick your ass and his…"

"Edward. Anyone but you, Jasper and Bella can see that you're totally meant for each other. Hell that's all Emmett ever talks about is when you're going to get your head out of your ass and tell her how you feel."

"I told her."

She shook her head. "You didn't tell her all of it."

"Yeah well my timing kind of sucked and then Jasper walked in. What am I supposed to do?"

"Kiss her and make her choose."


	22. Chapter 21

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_****__AN: You guys should be happy I'm such a feedback whore because now you get this chapter early. I don't want to make you guys wait much longer after what I've put you through for the past few weeks. Also just to clear up any confusion... Alice and Edward have had sex one time only, Bella interrupted them before they got past getting partially undressed. And yes... my Alice in this story is a little whore. Well not really she's just eighteen and spending time working for her big brother in a world thats full of sexy race car drivers, can you blame a girl for tryin?! She'll straighten up soon, at least a little but keep in mind, she's immature and spoiled and used to having her way. That will be very important in the future._

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. All characters belong to the wonderful Mrs. Meyer and anything else belongs to NASCAR.** _

* * *

Chapter Twenty-One

Edward tossed a fifty to the cab driver before turned around and stumbled towards his coach then took out his keys, dropping them in the dirt as he tripped over a seemingly invisible rock.

He bent over and picked them up, momentarily holding his arms out for balance as he stood in front of the door, trying every key in the lock until he found the one that worked.

Once inside he tossed his keys on the table and went to the refrigerator, grabbing a bottle of water as he headed back to his room to take something to prevent his hangover.

Tossing back a few aspirin he stripped down to his boxers and slid into bed, passing out the moment his head hit the pillow.

* * *

Jasper looked at his watch as he started towards Bella's coach. It was nearing seven-thirty and he hoped she was up. They needed to talk before he had to go to the drivers meeting at ten and he assumed two and a half hours would be more than enough time. He didn't want to upset her day or make things worse between them but they'd barely talked or seen each other in a few weeks and he couldn't keep doing this.

He felt like he was wasting her time and his. As much as he wanted things to work between them, he was beginning to see that they wouldn't.

Knocking on the door when he arrived, he was greeted with silence and tried the handle surprised when it opened easily. "Bells?"

Stepping inside, he closed the door behind him and walked back towards the bedroom, lightly knocking on the door yet still receiving no answer.

"Bells?"

He quietly opened the door and suddenly felt like the breath had been knocked out of him.

Sleeping peacefully in her bed was Bella. The covers were tangled around her waist, revealing a barely there tank top and the smooth expanse of her skin just below her navel, she looked beautiful. But what hit him hardest was the fact that she was curled up against Edward. Her head resting peacefully on his shoulder and her hand was splayed lazily across his stomach.

Edward, on the other hand, had an arm wrapped possessively around her waist, holding her tightly against him as he slept.

Jasper closed his eyes and shook his head then backed out of the room, quietly closing the door behind him. He should've known it would come to this when Edward had threatened him. He just couldn't believe that he was too blind to see what was there.

He'd known Edward for years, he knew his behavior and his mannerisms and how they pertained to the people his was with.

Thinking back on the last few months he realized that his actions and behavior around Bella had only been exhibited around one other person. Paige Masen.

He stepped off of the coach, quietly closing the door behind him and headed solemnly back to his coach.

"Hey Jazzy!"

He looked at the ground and shook his head. "Are you going to give me like a million different nicknames before the season is over?"

"That depends… What do you like to be called during sex?" she smiled but he just stared at her humorlessly. Alice just shrugged and stepped in front of him. "You comin' from Bell's?"

"Yeah…"

"You want to talk about it? You look like you've seen a ghost."

Jasper just looked at her and shook his head. "What's there to talk about? She's in bed with Edward. What could there possibly be to talk about?"

Her eyes widened. "What?! She's in bed with him? Damn that was fast… Were they naked?"

"Look, Ali. I'm really not in the mood to talk about this."

She raised her hands in surrender. "Okay… What are you doing up this early anyway?"

"Oddly enough I was going to talk to Bells and tell her I didn't think things were going to work out. I guess it was a wasted trip."

"Are you going to wait for her to explain it?"

He just shook his head. "There's nothing to explain, I'm just wondering why I didn't notice it before."

"He's in love with her, you know."

Jasper gave her a weak smile. "I don't think it's just one sided either."

* * *

"Da… Da!... DAAAAAAA!!!"

"Kellen… hold on. We'll go see your daddy in a minute," Bella murmured snuggling deeper into the warmth at her side before realizing that it wasn't a blanket. "Holy fuck!" she yelped sitting straight up in the bed, her eyes widening as they raked over Edward's sleeping body.

"Fuc!"

"Kellen! No!"

"Fuc… fuc… fuc…"

"And you tell me to watch my mouth around him…" Edward mumbled before he too realized where he was and quickly sat up in the bed, pulling the covers up to his chin. "What are you doing here?"

"Don't you think I need to be asking you that?" she replied, raising her eyebrow as she pulled the opposite end of the covers around her, realizing that she was wearing her skimpiest clothing due to the fact that it was hotter than hell at the track that weekend.

"What?"

"You're in my coach Edward. And on top of that, you're in my bed. What are you doing here? I'm not gonna be your… " she glanced over at Kellen before whispering, "fuck buddy."

Edward shook his head and sighed heavily before burying his face in his hands. "Damnit."

"You smell like a liquor cabinet. What the hell did you do last night?"

"Just went out…"

She snorted and turned her back to him, slipping on a pair of shorts. "Partying with Alice no doubt."

"Damnit woman, it's not even like that…" he bit back angrily yanking on his jeans, not bothering to fasten them before rising to his full height to meet her eye to eye.

"Like what? I'm pretty sure what I saw was what it looked like."

He ran a frustrated hand through his hair. "I'm lonely, Bella. What the hell do you expect me to do, sit around and pine over you? Well no thank you. I'm not going to do that. I'm going to try to at least keep some part of my life satisfied until you realize that I'm in love with you and you should be with me. Not Jasper."

"What'd you say?"

"I'm in love with you," he said firmly, placing his hands on his hips and raising his head proudly.

"Since when? Cause I'm pretty sure at noon yesterday you were about to screw Alice."

"Ugh! I swear to God. Would you please look past your sanctimonious ass for a second and listen to what I'm saying to you? I'm not going to sit around and pine over you while you try this shit with Jasper. We both know you're going to get hurt in the end so I don't know why you want to submit yourself to that."

"And you're not going to hurt me?"

He shook his head and took her hands in his. "Do you love me?**"**

"What?"

"Do you?"

She watched him quietly mulling over things before answering him. "I love you. I don't know if I trust you. I don't know if I can trust anyone."

"Just give me a chance. I won't hurt you." He reached up and placed his hand against her cheek then lowered his head to hers lightly brushing his lips over hers.

She pulled away. "Edward . We can't."

"Because of Jasper."

"Yes because of Jasper. Technically, he's still my boyfriend although we haven't had much of a relationship… at all." She looked at him for a moment. "Did you say something to him? That day at the house when he came in?"

He shrugged. "Nothing other than if he hurts you again I'll kick his ass and that he didn't deserve another chance with you."

"Well no freaking wonder he won't get within ten feet of me."

Edward smiled.

"Shut up Edward . I've got to get a shower. Take Kellen with you and spend some time with your son before you're busy all day."

"Fuc!"

Bella rolled her eyes. "Only a Masen would have that as one of his first words."


	23. Chapter 22

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_****__AN: 'Ello everyone! So I've had this chapter ready since Friday I just didn't get a chance with everything else that I had going on. _

**PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE READING THE CHAPTER: I just want to make some things clear before I post this so you won't think that E/B are moving extremely fast. At this point in the story Edward has been widowered(?) for almost 9 months. He had another 9 months previous to his wife's death to prepare for what was happening and to give him time to start the grieving process and get some closure. Yes he was still devastated by his wife's death but also has a young son to care for and knows that he has to go on and live his life in order to make a better life for Kellen. Now at this time, it's been two months since Edward told Bella how he felt about her but having already made her decision about trying things again with Jasper before Edward made his feelings known, she stuck with her guns and gave it a shot. She has been harbouring feelings for Edward for a good 7 months. I just want to make this all very clear before you read this update so things don't seem rushed to you.**

**Also keep in mind as well that Bella is ten years older than Alice and though they are normally BFFs in every story known to man Alice has a lot of immaturity that Bella just can't deal with very well. And that kind of comes out a bit in this chapter. Trust me, they are by no means friends. If anyone in this story is Bella's best friend (besides Edward for obvious reasons) I would say it would be Emmett.**

**Anywho... enjoy! R & R! Gimme some love people!**

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. All characters belong to the wonderful Mrs. Meyer and anything else belongs to NASCAR.** _

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Two

Bella stopped at the entrance to pit road and sat back against the wall as she watched teams mill around for their final practice before qualifying later that afternoon.

After a little awkwardness between she and Edward as they'd headed down to the garage, they had quickly fallen back into their normal routine and the comfortable banter that they often shared before he got in the car had easily returned.

Esme had come by and picked up Kellen right before they'd left the coach, to take he and Karsyn out to spend the day having a little bit of fun that didn't involve sitting in a sandbox while cars drove around them in circles. Although recently whenever Edward was in a car, Kellen was in Bella's arms cheering his daddy on with every lap.

She smiled at a few of the crew chiefs as they hurried back to the garages.

"Hey…"

Bella turned around to find Alice standing behind her on the other side of the wall. "Hi."

"Look, I just wanted to thank you for covering for me…"

"I didn't cover for you," Bella replied sharply, stepping back over the wall to tower over Alice. "I covered for Edward. If you had been with anyone besides him, I would've narced your ass out to Emmett."

"What the hell's your problem?" Alice bit back, propping her hands on her hips and rising to her full 4'10" yet still cowering in Bella's shadow.

Bella rolled her eyes. "I'm not going to argue with you or tell you what my problem is Alice. All I'm going to say is that you need to straighten your ass up, before you hurt someone or yourself. You may think you're the shit getting screwed by Mr. Nascar and all but what about James? How does he feel about it?"

Alice closed her mouth and shrugged.

"Well, I suggest you go and talk to him, tell him what happened and see if he still wants to have anything to do with you because he's been pining after you like a little puppy for the last few months and you haven't paid a damn bit of attention to him. I hate to be mean but you've been nothing more than a quick fuck to the man that I know you've been with but you're wasting yourself on men that only see you as a means of gratification and it's going to get real old real quick. Have some respect for yourself… and stay away from Edward. If it happens again I'm going to Emmett."

"What about Jasper?" Alice asked, trying her best to get the argument turned around.

"What _about_ Jasper? I really don't think it's any of your business."

"He knows…"

"Knows what?"

Alice sighed and crossed her hands over her chest. "He saw you and Edward this morning… in bed."

Bella's eyes grew wide just before she closed them and rubbed her hands over her face. "Shit…"

"Yeah… So why don't you …"

"Alice. Shut the hell up. I haven't fucked anyone so just shut up…"

Bella whirled around and stalked away leaving Alice with a cocky smile on her face as she turned around and looked into the extremely pissed off face of James Hunter.

"We need to talk…" He grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her back to his hauler, ignoring the cameras that were recording every move they made.

* * *

Bella waved to Jasper's crew chief as she approached his hauler, shoving her hands in her back pockets nervously. "He here?"

The man nodded and motioned for her to go inside.

She entered quietly closing the door behind her as she went then silently walked the length of the hauler until she found him lying on the couch with his arm thrown casually over his eyes.

"Jasper?" she said softly, flinching as he jumped a little. "Sorry."

He shook his head and sat up. "Nah, it's okay. What are you doing here?"

"Can't I visit my own boyfriend at work?" she shrugged, not sure what he thought he saw this morning.

Jasper smiled. "No, I meant aren't you supposed to be watching Kellen? Edward's practicing isn't he?"

"Yeah, Kellen's with Esme and Karsyn."

"Ah…"

There was an awkward silence then she sat next to him. "I talked to Alice…"

Without looking at her yet not letting her finish as he stood and began pacing in front of her.

"Jasper, I want you to know… what you saw… Nothing happened. Edward apparently went out drinking last night and got on the wrong coach. I was just too worn out to notice…"

"You don't have to explain anything, Bells. And I know nothing happened. I know you wouldn't do that." He knelt in front of her and took her hands in his, looking up into her big brown eyes. "I came over this morning to break things off with you."

"What?" She didn't know if she should be upset or happy about that but all she felt at that moment was numb. "Why?"

"Think about it. Things haven't exactly been the same between us since I screwed up which is completely my fault and I know that but we've barely even seen each other. We hardly get the chance to do anything together without Edward or someone else around and that's not a relationship."

"I'm sorry…"

"Don't be sorry, Bells. It's not your fault. There was something holding me back and I didn't realize until this morning that it was Edward. It seems like everyone but the three of us saw this happening but you guys have something that you and I can never have. You've got a bond that I can never compete with and you two are good for each other."

She looked down at their hands, surprised when a tear fell from her eyes, dropping onto the back of his hand. "I wanted us to work Jasper…"

He brushed his hand over her cheek. "I know you did darlin'. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that this wasn't meant to work. I've never been one to believe in divine intervention or anything but I truly believe that you were sent to us as more than a nanny. You're here to help Edward heal as well as yourself and it's time you both realized it."

Bella took a deep breath, surprised when Jasper leaned forward and pressed his lips firmly against hers before she opened her mouth to him, allowing his tongue to plunder her mouth, one final kiss to end the farce of a relationship that they'd shared.

He pulled away and brushed the tears from her cheeks.

"So this is it?" she sniffed.

Jasper gave her a slight nod. "For us…only the romantic stuff though. We're still friends right?"

"Absolutely." She smiled and bit her lip, standing up with him as he wrapped his arms around her.

"I still love you though," he whispered into her hair. "Now… go take care of Edward so he'll stop sneaking around with an 18 year old."

She furrowed her brow and looked at him in shock. "How did you know?"

"Um… Alice, how do you think? She absolutely cannot keep her mouth shut around me. I know things about that girl only a significant other should know. It's quite frightening to be honest."

* * *

Edward pulled his car into the garage and got out, quickly removing his safety gear before he started towards his hauler. He unzipped his firesuit tying the arms around his waist on his way.

"Edward!" A voice called from behind him but he kept walking, not ready to deal with any fans at the moment. Practice had extremely sucked and if they didn't do some massive improvement to his car he'd be lucky if he placed in the top forty.

"Edward! Damnit Edward will you slow your old ass down!"

He quickly stopped and turned around as Bella ran towards him. "Who you callin' old?" he laughed, surprised when she launched herself into his arms and pressed her lips to his.

She wrapped her arms around his neck as he tightened his around her waist, rubbing softly up her back to cup the back of her head as her tongue pushed through the barrier of his lips.

Edward pulled back realizing they were drawing an audience. "Bells… We can't do this out here…" he said quietly, chuckling as the smile on her face disappeared. "Let's go to the hauler."

He took her hand and led her down the row of haulers to the last one and quickly helped her inside, yelling for anyone that was inside to get out as they walked to the back room, making sure the place was empty.

He hurried to the front and locked the door then went back to join Bella on the couch. "Now… where were we?"

She smiled and rose to straddle his lap. "Right about here…" she whispered against his lips quickly resuming her earlier attack on his mouth as she moaned in pleasure. She finally felt like she was where she needed to be.

Not on Edward's lap per se but with him, in his arms, holding him. It just felt… perfect. This was where she belonged and she hadn't felt this at home with someone since Jacob died.

Bella scattered kisses along his jaw then she pulled his earlobe into her mouth, sucking on it lightly, smiling when she felt him shiver.

"Does this mean you and Jasper…"

She pulled back to look at him, nodding. "Yeah… he saw us this morning."

"What?"

"He came over to break up with me and found us together."

Edward covered his face with his hands. "Shit…"

"He's not mad Edward."

"Well, damn right he's not. He has no reason to be."

"Hey…"

He looked up at her with wide lust filled eyes. "What?"

"What do you say we get you out of this firesuit and into me…" She pulled her bottom lip into her mouth, chewing on it as her face brightened.

"I'm glad you're straightforward, I hate that beating around the bush shit." Edward set her aside and stood up, quickly ridding himself of his firesuit before urging her to lie on the couch. "Don't worry. I'll take care of getting rid of your clothing…" he laughed, quickly doing as he said.

Edward pushed Bella's shirt up over her breasts only to be stopped by a loud bellowing voice a moment later.

"Why the fuck is this door locked?!" his crew chief yelled as he stomped into the hauler. "We've gotta get the damn car ready if you wanna win this race!"

Bella pushed her shirt down and sat up, trying to straighten her mussed hair as Edward hurried to get back into his firesuit, which was quite comical as he hopped on one foot and then the other in his struggle.

"Eddie you gonna answer me?!"

Edward had just tied his suit around his waist as the man made his way into the "lounge" and came to a quick halt.

"Don't you have a coach for that? I want no fucking in the hauler cause if you do it then all the crew thinks they can. I'm not playin' favorites around here."

"Tyler, do you remember who signs your checks?"

"Nope, Anne does, not you so if you wanna fuck take it to the coach."

Bella's face reddened in embarrassment and she buried it in her hands only to have Edward pull one away and drag her to the door.

"I'll remember this Ty. Just wait…" Edward threatened as he slammed the door behind them and pulled Bella against his side. "I don't know how far I'm gonna be able to walk like this."

"Like what?" Bella asked in confusion only to have Edward raise his brows in obvious amusement before he looked down. Her eyes followed his and her mouth formed an exaggerated "O" as her gaze fell on the protruding area between his legs which was too large for his sleeves to properly hide. "Yeah maybe I should walk in front of you. We don't want anyone getting any ideas."


	24. Chapter 23

___****__AN: I've decided to give you guys some more while I could. You may get an update or two tomorrow, you may not get one until Friday, I'm making no promises so you get what you get. _

**Anywho... enjoy! R & R! Gimme some love people!**

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. All characters belong to the wonderful Mrs. Meyer and anything else belongs to NASCAR.** _

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Three

"Edward Anthony Junior!" Esme yelled as she stepped onto his coach and slammed the door. "Edward ?!" She frowned when he didn't answer and saw the bedroom door closed so she made her way back, knocking softly as she did so. "Edward …"

"Hold on a damn minute…" he growled from the other side of the door, opening it a few minutes later. "What?"

She looked at him oddly as he closed the door quickly behind him and ushered her to the front of the coach. "What the hell are you thinking?"

"Thinking about what?"

"Kellen has been walking around saying fuck fuck fuck all day long."

Edward smiled quickly hiding it when she glared at him. "I didn't teach him that."

"Well someone sure as hell did and you're the only person he's around a lot besides Bella and I know she…"

"It was me…"

Esme turned around, shocked to see Bella standing in the doorway of Edward's bedroom with nothing on but one of his t-shirts. "Excuse me? Just what the hell is going on here Edward?"

He held his hand out for Bella, pulling her onto his lap as she stopped in front of the couch then looked up at his sister. "I accidentally said it this morning when I woke up and found Edward in my bed…"

"You did what?"

"Es, why don't you sit down?"

She nodded her head and sat in the chair across from them. "Please tell me what the hell is going on because the last I heard you were dating Jasper."

"Jasper broke up with me earlier today…"

"So you're sleeping with my brother now?" Esme asked sounding a little more pissed off than she meant to.

Edward kissed Bella's neck and whispered for her to go over to her coach so he could talk to Esme in private which she did. "What's the problem Esme?"

"Oh gee… where do you want me to start?" she bit back. "What the hell are you doing Edward?"

He groaned and leaned back on the couch, propping his feet up in the chair across from his sister. "Not what you think I'm doing. I'm in love with her Es…"

She rolled her eyes. "You're not in love with her Edward, you just think you are. I mean Paige has barely been gone…"

"She's been gone nine months, Esme. I know when she died."

"Look, I'm sorry but how do you know you're not just transferring your feelings for Paige to Bella?"

"Because I'm not, hell everyone and their brother has been asking me when we were going to hook up. How could they see it and you don't?"

"Edward, you've fallen into this comfortable, family routine with her and I just don't want you getting hurt because you've allowed her to take Paige's place."

"She hasn't taken Paige's place. She hasn't even tried."

"Well then why the hell are you sleeping with her if she just split up with Jasper today?"

"I haven't slept with her in the sexual sense Esme because for some reason people keep interrupting before the clothes come off."

"Maybe you should take that as a sign."

"And maybe I should take everyone's keys so they can't keep barging in on us."

"Why are you doing this Edward?"

"Because I love her and she loves me. Does that not matter to you? This is something that has been growing for months not just something I've imagined to make myself happy again. Don't you understand for the last few months I've been going crazy watching her and encouraging her to try to work things out with Jasper when I'm so in love with her I can't see straight."

"That's exactly what I'm talking about. How do you know it's even love Edward?"

Edward stood up and leaned over his sister so that she looked directly into his eyes. "Because I know what it feels like Esme. When the little things make your heart jump and even smaller things make you smile you realize it. I've had it before and I want it again. I don't know when it happened but I'm not just saying it. I'm in love with her."

Esme stood and wrapped her arms around her brother. "I understand you want someone Edward but I don't want you getting hurt…"

"I'm not going to get hurt…"

She shook her head. "It's too soon. Why don't you just find a friend with benefits…"

"I had one…."

"What?"

"Yeah. I had one. But you know what I was thinking about the entire time I was with her? Bella. Not Paige, not what Paige would think or that I was betraying her, it was Bella I was worried about hurting. Don't tell me what I can and can't feel, sis. I love you but you're not going to tell me that."

She slowly nodded her head. "Fine. Just don't rush it Edward. You need to take time and heal."

"Don't you see that's what is happening? Esme, I sat by Paige's side for nine long months watching her fade with every passing day. We talked about the future, about what she wanted for Kellen and I. The first thing she always said no matter how many times we had the conversation was that she wanted me to be happy. She wanted me to make a life for myself and Kellen that didn't include her. I'm not going to forget about her Es, I never will. And I will make sure every single day that Kellen knows who his mother was and how much she loved and sacrificed for him. Just please trust me on this. I'm doing what feels right and being with Bella feels right to me. You begged me when you hired her to let her in, to help me heal… that's what's happening Esme, please just let it happen."

"If this is what you want… if you think that's what's happening…" She didn't finish as she stood and straightened her credentials then opened the door. "I'll keep Kellen tonight. Just be careful little brother. I couldn't handle it if you got your heart broken again."

He nodded and watched his sister walk away before sitting down on the couch and burying his face in his hands. "Son of a bitch…"

He knew his sister loved him but sometimes she protected him more than necessary and now was one of those times. The more he thought about it he remembered her being that way when he'd met Paige.

A knock on the door drew him out of his thoughts and he yelled for whoever it was to come in. To say he was surprised when Jasper walked through the door was an understatement.

"Hey Jazz, what's up?" Edward asked, standing up to greet his friend, not expecting Jasper to rear back and punch him solidly in the nose. "Dude… what the fuck?"

Jasper shook his already bruising hand and leaned over Edward, who'd landed precariously in the floor. "I swear to God if you hurt her I'll do worse. I may not be man enough to make her happy but I'm sure as hell man enough to kick your ass if I need to."

Without another word he turned and left, slamming the door with all his might as he did so.

Edward leaned up on his elbow and rubbed his hand under his nose cursing at the blood that covered it. "Aww hell…"

He fell back to lay on the floor in disgust then moments later he was out cold.

* * *

Emmett opened the door to Edward's coach then quickly rushed to his friend's side when he found him lying on the floor, passed out cold with a bloodied nose. "Edward? Edward, wake up…"

He gently shook him, receiving a groan for his efforts as well as one green eye glaring at him in the harsh light. "What do you want?"

"Dude what the hell happened?"

"Jasper…" he muttered as he grabbed Emmett's outstretched hand to rise to his feet slowly. Edward sat back on the couch and Emmett grabbed some ice out of the freezer and put it in an ice pack then handed it to his friend.

"I guess that means I can't do the same thing…"

Edward frowned. "Huh?"

"I actually came over here for the same reason…"

"Why? What the hell did I do to you?"

"You fucked my baby sister for one thing…"

"Ugh…" Edward groaned and lay down on the couch. "Look, it was an accident."

Emmett's eyes grew wide. "So she's not good enough to sleep with on purpose."

"That's not what I said!"

"That's what it sounded like…"

Edward frowned. "Wait a minute… are you mad that I slept with her or that I did it accidentally?"

"I don't know."

Emmett sat in the recliner across from him and crossed his arms over his chest. "Why'd you do it?"

"I was horny and she showed up on my doorstep at one in the morning practically begging for it. How'd you find out anyway?"

Emmett shrugged and got up to get a beer. "Apparently James overheard Bella and Alice getting into it this morning on pit road and he confronted her about it. So once they were done, he brought her to me and made her confess everything so I'd get off of his back."

"You've been riding him that hard?"

Emmett chuckled. "I've made his life hell… So what'd you do to Jasper?"

Edward sighed and resituated his body. "Stole his girlfriend."

"Well it's about damn time…"

"Do what?"

"I've been waiting for you to do that since Daytona."

He struggled to get into a sitting position. "I didn't even like her then…"

Emmett shrugged. "You were lonely then. I don't think you really started to have feeling s for her until a few months ago."

"So you're not going to kick my ass anymore?" Edward asked hopefully.

"I'm not going to beat a man when he's down. But you're not getting away with it," Emmett smirked, slapping him on the back. "Just keep your eyes open… one day I may just be walkin' by and knock your sorry ass to the ground."

"That's not fair, Em. I never kicked your ass for screwing around with my baby sister."

"That's because Rosalie would kick your ass if you did. And she's only a few years younger than me… Alice is damn near illegal."

Edward snorted then groaned in pain. "So James and her are…"

"Done. He won't even get within a 10 foot radius of her."

"What's she gonna do now?"

"Probably go after Jasper now that Bella's out of the way, Lord knows she's been pining for him long enough as it is."


	25. Chapter 24

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___****__AN: So as of right now I'm able to post so I'm sure that makes you guys happy! Please keep the feedback coming. You know the more you appease the feedback whore the more updates you get, so that means you may get an extra chapter this afternoon. For those of you who are reading White Flag it will be updated on Friday even if it's the last thing I do before I leave work to go home, I will make sure it's posted._

**Now I'm going to do something I don't normally do because there are so many wonderful fanfics out there and I don't really like playing favorites but if you aren't reading Bleeding Love by zgirl21 () or crazyexgirlfriend () you're definitely missing out. I don't know about you guys but any story that has Edward as a womanizing asshole who breaks Bella's heart just a little bit more every single time their around each other just makes my day, call me a glutton for punishment but that bittersweet pain you get in your chest while reading it makes it that much better... I know I'm weird and I'd write Edward like that if I could but I can't, Edward Cullen is my Mr. Darcy and I will never be able to portray him as an asshole no matter how pretentious he might be.**

**Anywho... enjoy! R & R! Gimme some love people!**

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. All characters belong to the wonderful Mrs. Meyer and anything else belongs to NASCAR.** _

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Four

Jasper looked down at the bruised knuckles of his right hand and shook his head before placing the ice pack back on top of them.

He knew he really had no right to knock the hell out of Edward but it felt damn good and like something he needed to do. Of course, all of it hadn't been because of Bella. He'd be lying if he said it didn't irritate him slightly that Edward had been fooling around with Alice on top of everything else.

Sure they'd only slept together once but there had been an attempt at another time and even though she had recently had James attached to her side every time he saw her, he had to admit that he kind of felt like she was his.

"Penny for your thoughts…"

He looked up and smiled as Bella pulled up a chair and sat next to him, reaching over to pat his left hand in the process. "Make it a nickel and you've got a deal?"

She laughed and gave him an odd look. "What happened to your hand?"

Jasper grimaced and lifted the ice pack showing her the bruises. "Edward's nose ran into my fist…"

"Jasper! What the hell!? Why'd you hit him?"

He shrugged. "He stole my girlfriend…"

"He didn't steal me."

"I know. I just felt like hitting someone and when I got to thinking about it he was the best candidate. Between taking you away and screwing Ali, I got pissed off."

Bella smiled. "You _liiiiiike_ her."

He shook his head. "No. I think I've just developed this protective vibe when I'm around her. Trust me, she's been so far up James' ass trying to get him to forgive her, she wouldn't notice me if I walked up and kissed her without any warning."

"Oh I doubt that. You're hard not to notice. You're a hell of a kisser Mr. Whitlock."

"Did you sleep with him?" he asked quietly, surprising her with such an abrupt question.

She frowned. "That's not any of your business Jasper."

"I know. I just don't want you to get hurt…" As soon as the words were out of him mouth he shrugged. "Yeah, don't look at me like that I didn't mean to hurt you and trust me when I say I feel the guilt every time I look at you."

"Well stop feeling guilty. Things happen for a reason."

He looked at her in awe. "I can't believe after everything that's happened to you, that you still believe that."

"It's the only thing that gets you by sometimes. I mean if Jake and Seth hadn't died, I never would've met you guys. And though I'd definitely give my own life to have them back, I don't regret this for a minute."

Jasper held his arm out, wrapping it around her as she leaned into his side and placed her head on his shoulder. "You're a hell of a woman Bells."

"I've gotta be to put up with you guys…"

"Hey! Get your hands off my woman chump! I _will_ kick your ass." Edward called as he approached them.

Jasper rolled his eyes. "I'd hate to have to break your nose again."

Edward pulled Bella up and sat in her chair, then pulled her down on his lap. "Mornin…" he said quietly pressing a light kiss to her lips before she pulled away.

"Hey. How's your nose?"

He shrugged and looked at Jasper. "Boy's got a hell of right hook. I'm glad you got to me before Emmett did though."

"Oh God what happened with Emmett?" Bella asked quickly, covering her mouth with her hands.

"Well, apparently he came over to kick my ass, but seeing that Jasper had already done it for the day he let me off. He said James overheard you and Alice getting into it and he confronted her about us messing around. Then he hauled her off to Emmett and made her spill everything. Seems Emmett's been all over James' ass since he thought it was him that Alice had sex with that night."

Jasper chuckled. "Only you."

"Only me what?"

"Could get away with that. I would've kicked your ass from here to Seattle."

Bella rolled her eyes. "Enough with the macho man shit. Where's Kellen?"

"He stayed with Esme last night…"

"How'd that go?"

Edward shook his head. "I don't really wanna talk about it right now."

"Okay…"

She leaned back into Edward's embrace and closed her eyes enjoying the comfortable silence between the three of them, not failing to notice the odd circumstances that surrounded them.

Jasper watched as Edward rubbed his hand over Bella's back and pressed a kiss to her temple and found himself smiling. The more he spent time with her the more she reminded him of Paige. Her demeanor, sense of humor, and tolerance for all of them and the shit they came up with couldn't have been more similar if it had been Paige herself.

Right then, he knew he'd done the right thing.

* * *

_A week later_

Bella stood in Edward's hauler with Kellen perched on the counter inside, clapping his little hands together.

"Da!" he giggled, clapping even more when Edward appeared from the back with his firesuit on.

He smiled and held his arms out to his son. "Hey buddy… You going to watch Daddy race today?"

Kellen responded by jumping up and down in his arms, clapping and nodding. "Da!"

Edward turned to find Bella smiling as she watched them and he leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to her lips and laughed as Kellen pressed a slobbery one to her cheek at the same time.

"Dang it, you double teamed me."

Kellen giggled and laid his head on Edward 's shoulder.

"You ready?"

Bella shrugged. "I'm not the one getting in the car."

"You know what I meant."

"I know."

He started towards the door and turned back to her. "Do you have Kel's stuff?"

"All right here," she said, patting the bag on her shoulder as she followed him outside and closed the door behind him.

They held hands as they walked towards pit road, attracting more than their share of stares and whispers.

"Don't let it bother you," he said with a smile as they approached his pit and she placed Kellen's bag on the seat where she would be watching the race with him in her lap.

"I'm not bothered Edward."

"Okay. Well I've got to do driver intros. Do you want to ride around the track with me?"

She shook her head. "I don't want to draw any more attention than I already am. Kellen might like it though."

Bella watched them walk towards the stage and leaned back on the pit wall, smoothing her t-shirt as she did so.

Edward had been talking about this race for weeks and when they'd arrived at the track she understood why. It was monstrous and according to him one of the best tracks on the circuit.

She looked around cringing at the high banking turns as Edward climbed into one of the trucks they took the drivers around the track in.

Once they'd returned he joined her and went about getting ready for the race. Bella took the time to put Kellen's earplugs in so that he would be protected when the cars started and held him as Edward fastened all the appropriate mechanisms to keep him safe.

He pulled her to him, taking Kellen out of her arms then motioned her to stand at his side as the invocation was done and the national anthem was sung.

Both of them hiding their emotions behind sunglasses as cameras made their towards them, focusing momentarily on their clasped hands before rising up and zooming in on Edward and Kellen, then back to Bella.

She pulled away once the anthem was done and took Kellen as she moved out of the way for him to get in the car and get fastened in.

"Bells!" he called before she could make it to the pit box.

She approached the car slowly, smiling at one of the crew members as he moved out of the way. "Yeah?"

He motioned her closer with his finger and leaned forward to kiss her as she leaned in the window of the car, then she moved out of the way and allowed him to kiss Kellen. "I love you…"

She smiled. "I love you too. Be safe."

"Baby this is Dega… it's the house that Masen built. I'll be fine."

Bella rolled her eyes then went to the pit box, handing Kellen up to Edward's crew chief, Tyler, as she made her way up and sat next to him. She reached into his bag and pulled out a large pair of headphones to put on his ears to block out the majority of the noise then took the headset that Tyler handed her and put them on.

When the engines started up, Kellen started bouncing in her lap and clapping saying "Dada" over and over again until the cars pulled away and slowly began their pace laps.

"I'm hungry…" Edward said over the radio causing Bella to laugh.

Tyler smiled. "You just got in the car Eddie, you're going to have to wait."

"Damnit. Hey Bells, I know you can't talk back but if I win I'm finally gettin some tonight."

A few of the guys looked up at her and laughed causing her to blush as the cars came to the green.

Three and a half hours later, Bella stood with Kellen in her arms watching with excitement as Edward took the checkered and the celebration began.

Even at eighteen months, Kellen seemed completely completely aware of what had happened and nearly squirmed his way out of Bella's grasp.

"Come on Bella! Edward wants you guys in Victory Lane," Tyler called, helping them down then leading the way.

She stood off to the side as the crew, owners and sponsors made their way into the gated area, unable to hide her smile as Edward pulled in and the yelling began.

He slid out of the car, sitting on the door for a moment to drink the water he'd been handed, before standing up and raising his arms in the air and being showered with beer.

He jumped into the arms of his crew, hugging them all before wiping his face with a towel and turning to face the camera.

Edward smiled and nodded, answering the questions he was asked then turned around to find Bella and Kellen, not caring that he was still being watched. He held out his hand, motioning for them to join him then pulled her into his arms, stealing her breath and all who watched as he kissed her with all the passion of a man in love.

"Edward …"

He laughed and took Kellen from her. "Shh… there's more where that came from. Just wait 'til I get you home."


	26. Chapter 25

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**Anywho... enjoy! R & R! Gimme some love people!**

___****__AN: Well since you guys have been so completely awesome today you get another chapter... And hopefully it's what you've all be waiting for. I hope it's not disappointing, I've been building up this relation ship for 25 chapters I'd hate to let anyone down._

**I'm off to find more womanizing asshole Edward fanfic. Rawr!**

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. All characters belong to the wonderful Mrs. Meyer and anything else belongs to NASCAR.** _

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Five

To say the plane ride home was uncomfortable would have been a vast understatement. The moment Edward, Bella and Kellen stepped foot on the plane everyone grew silent and stared. Anne did little to hide her irritation at what was happening and Jasper, though supportive, couldn't completely grasp the fact that Edward had practically swallowed Bella's face on live television.

Now Edward stood in the doorway of Kellen's room watching as Bella put him in his crib for the night. As usual, he'd fallen asleep on the way home and hadn't woken up since. Then again, it had been a big day for him as well.

Edward had never seen him so happy.

She shut out the light and closed the door, smiling as Edward slid his arms around her waist and pulled her against him.

He brushed a stray hair out of her face and grazed his hand over her cheek before leaning forward to press a gentle kiss to her temple. "You're beautiful."

Bella smiled searching his face with her eyes. "I bet you say that to all the nannies…"

"Maybe but with you I mean it…" he nuzzled his face into her neck, slowly moving them down the hall towards his room as he did so. "You're the only one that gets the action…"

"Edward?"

"Hmm…" he murmured as his mouth explored the elegant column of her throat, biting down as he reached the hollow of her shoulder.

"We're moving…" she giggled as his hands brushed lightly against her sides.

He pulled back and looked at her. "Come on…"

Edward took her hand and led her into the bedroom, quickly taking the phone off of the hook as he stopped next to the bed. Though they'd made a few attempts to further the physical aspects of their sudden relationship they'd yet to follow through.

After the attempt in his hauler the previous week that had been interrupted by Tyler yet again before the practice yesterday as he burst in yelling because of some part that NASCAR approved a week ago but wouldn't allow that week and though Esme was slowly, very slowly, coming around regarding their relationship that didn't mean she was completely okay with it and had spent every waking moment trying to keep them from being alone which was a feat in and of itself seeing that they lived in the same house.

Tonight was going to be about them.

He pulled his polo over his head, leaving him in a white t-shirt and worn jeans then he crawled onto the bed pulling her down next to him as he leaned back on his elbow. He reached out for her urging her to lay back and relax.

"Can we talk?"

"Huh?" Edward blinked, as of right now, the last thing he wanted was to talk. The raging hard on in his pants was going to make having a conversation difficult at best. "You want to talk? Can it wait until after?"

She frowned and shook her head as she pulled her feet under her and turned to face him. "Nope."

"Ugh!" Edward threw his arms out in frustration then rolled onto his back and covered his face. "What? You never wanted to talk before. Why now? I swear my balls have never been so blue."

Bella offered a soft giggle then grew serious as she looked down at her lap, chewing on her bottom lip as she did so. "I… I just want you to make sure you know who you're sleeping with."

He looked at her and frowned, before sitting up to look her in the eye, realizing immediately what she meant. "Bella, I know it's you. I don't think you're anyone else and you're not a substitute for Paige. Don't let anyone put that in your mind. I loved my wife with all of my heart and I still love her but it's not the same with us. We've got a different kind of thing going on here and I just want you to know that I know I'm with you. I don't want to be with anyone but you. And just because what we have is different doesn't mean I love you any less that I did Paige."

She smiled. "Okay. You better not be telling me that to get laid either."

"Why the hell else would I tell you?" he laughed, yelping in pain when she punched him in the arm.

"Watch it mister."

"You know I'm kidding. I love you Bells. I want you." His words slowed as he leaned closer and ran his hand up her arm towards her shoulder. "All of you."

She closed her eyes as his breath washed over her cheek and leaned into his embrace, slowly falling back on the bed as he rose over her and covered her body with his.

Edward scattered light kisses along the line of her throat and collar bone as his hand slipped beneath the hem of her shirt and he lightly scrapped his fingers over her stomach causing her body to tighten in anticipation.

Bella moaned as his hand slid higher, dipping inside her bra to cup her breast. "Edward …"

He looked into her eyes and a smile tugged at his lips before they hungrily attacked hers. Moving his body over hers, he laid between her legs, rubbing against her though the rough fabric of his jeans as her hands roamed over his back and her nails scratched and dug into his skin with ferocity.

"Baby, if you don't slow down we're not going to get our clothes off in time…" she laughed softly as he ripped his mouth from hers and began kissing his way down her neck to latch onto her nipple through the thin material of her t-shirt.

"Oh God," she mewled as she dug her hands into his hair and held him close not wanting him to pull away for even a moment. "You feel so good …"

Edward grinned and rose to his knees motioning for her to sit up with his finger. She did as he directed and he swiftly pulled her shirt over her head and masterfully removed her bra before removing his shirt and moving back over her, savoring the feel of her naked breasts against his bare skin.

He gently ran his hands down her side smiling as she shivered and burrowed closer to his body. "You have no idea how much I want you right now…" he whispered, pressing his lower body hard against hers.

She rubbed her hands down the length of his back then grabbed his ass with both hands, pulling him closer. "Why don't you get these clothes out of the way and show me then."

Edward smiled and quickly jumped up from the bad, hurrying out of his jeans and boxers, puffing his chest up at the pride he felt when her eyes hungrily raked over his body. "That I can definitely do."

Bella pushed her jeans down her legs and kicked them off, leaving only a thin scrap of white satin covering what Edward so desperately wanted.

He frowned. "You forgot something…"

She shook her head and smiled. "I've got to make you work for it a little. Take them off with your mouth."

If possible, he grew harder when those words fell effortlessly from her lips and he shook his head in amazement. "Woman… I don't know what you've done to me…"

He leaned over her on his knees as she lay back in the center of the bed and watched with interest as he hooked his tongue around the then band on her left hip and pulled it down as far is it would go before doing the same with the right.

As soon as he had her panties resting just over her center he took the center of the waistband and pulled it down, brushing his tongue over her center through her already damp panties in the process.

Bella's body jerked with pleasure and she stretched her arms over her head, thrusting against his mouth as he did so.

"Stop…" he growled, still trying to remove her panties, highly irritated that anytime he got his hands near them she'd slap them. "Let me get this out of the way because you need to be punished for torturing me like this."

"Really?"

He finally got her panties to the floor then looked at her with satisfaction. "Really. Now what can I do to you for that?"

She bit her lip and slowly spread her legs apart as he crawled towards her, surprising her when he leaned down and bit his way from the inside of her thigh towards her wet aching center, only to stop right before his mouth touched her. He blew lightly on her throbbing need and smiled as she arched and moaned, then he began kissing his way down her other leg.

"Get on your knees and face the wall, Bells."

"I'm not doing freaky shit our first time, Edward," she replied dryly giving him a warning look.

"Just do it."

Bella gave him a confused look but rose to her knees as he'd asked and turned to face the wall.

He leaned back on his heels watching her, committing every single inch of her body to memory as he did so. A smirk pulled at his lips when she glanced over her shoulder uncertainly. "Now lean forward a little and hold onto the headboard."

She rolled her eyes and did as she was told, feeling more than vulnerable when she felt the warmth of Edward's body move up behind her.

"What do you want me to do to you baby?" he asked in a husky whisper as he ran his hand down her hips and over her thighs, not bothering to move his hard cock as it rubbed against the soft curve of her ass.

Bella shuddered in excitement. "Just… I want you inside of me Edward. Please," she panted, as her heart quickened.

"Spread your legs apart… just a little bit more," he murmured then moved away from her.

"Edward?"

He lay on his back and pushed himself up between her legs, wrapping his arms around her thighs as he pulled her wetness closer to him and swept his tongue along her folds.

"Holy fuck!" she hissed, gripping the headboard tighter as he did it once more before thrusting it inside of her.

Her head fell back and she closed her eyes as she moved her hips in time with the rhythm Edward had set with his tongue. He alternated between teasing her clit and curling his tongue inside of her then just as her body began to tighten, ready for release he slid from beneath her and rose up behind her, pressing his need against her back.

"Did you like that?"

"Mmmhmm…" she nodded, leaning her head back against his neck. "But you didn't finish."

"Lie down."

She lay down and rolled onto her back then spread her legs apart as Edward settled between them, gently brushing his hardened cock over her clit before slowly pushing inside of her. Once inside, he stilled so her body could adjust to him.

"You're so fucking tight," he growled when she wrapped her legs around his waist and urged him to continue.

He pulled out slowly then thrust back into her, increasing his speed and force with each thrust.

Edward bit at her neck and trailed kisses over her collarbone then latched onto her taut nipple and began suckling her gently before nipping at the tightened bud, pulling it between his teeth.

"Oh fuck, Edward … That's it baby. Harder…" Bella moaned planting her feet on the mattress to rise and meet his thrusts.

Edward continued to pound into her, feeling her body constricting around him as she neared release, just a few more thrusts and her body convulsed with pleasure. Wave after wave of bliss surged through her as she tightened her legs around his waist and thrust upward one more time, pushing him over the edge.

He collapsed on top of her then rolled to his side, pulling her with him, not bothering to pull out. He wasn't ready to put that distance between them yet.

She curled against him, wrapping her arms around his waist as she leaned back to look at him.

"Thank you," Edward said softly, brushing his hand over her cheek and kissing the tip of her nose.

Bella's eyes widened a surprise. "For?"

"Reminding me what being happy is…"

"Then I guess I should be thanking you as well."


	27. Chapter 26

___****__AN: Okay, apparently this chapter is a tad bit shorter than I thought it was but not to fear! You'll get another one later today. I'm already prepping it for posting and it's long, well for me anyway. I also just wanted to let you guys know that after this chapter, things will start jumping ahead months at a time. I really don't want this to go on forever so the next chapter will start off about 8 months down the road from the first time that Edward and Bella were intimate, that way things don't seem rushed. Just pay attention to the italics of the time frame so you don't get too confused._

_**And please feel free to give me some heads up on some womanizing asshole Edward fanfics. **_

**Anywho... enjoy! R & R! Gimme some love people!**

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. All characters belong to the wonderful Mrs. Meyer and anything else belongs to NASCAR.** _

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Six

Edward rolled over and looked at the clock in the dimly lit room. It was just after seven so he slid out of the bed as quietly as he could to keep from waking Bella and pulled on some pajama pants and a t-shirt before leaving the room.

He looked in on Kellen finding him still sound asleep and padded downstairs to fix something for breakfast.

Opening the refrigerator, he pulled out a carton of eggs and some milk and cheese then turned to the coffee maker, surprised to find it already on.

"What are you doing, Edward?"

Edward closed his eyes and shook his head, keeping his back to his stepmother. "I'm fixing breakfast. What does it look like I'm doing?"

"You know what I'm talking about, with Bella."

He rolled his eyes and looked at her. "Are you going to start letting yourself in from now on because if you are, I'm having the locks changed."

She stood and walked around the counter. "I'm just trying to look out for you Edward. And Bella. You can't do this to her."

"Do what, Anne?"

She pursed her lips in irritation. "You can't use her like this. She's not going to be a substitute for Paige until you're ready to move on."

Edward shook his head and started mixing a few eggs in a bowl. "I'm not using her. I love her. There's a difference there."

"You think…"

"No… I know I do," he growled, his jaw flexing in anger. "Don't presume to tell me how I feel."

Anne sighed. "Edward, I just don't want you making a mistake by trying to rush into something. You haven't completely healed from Paige's death, you may not ever."

"You think I don't know that? I love Paige, Anne, and I always will but I'm not going to stop my life because she's not here anymore and she wouldn't want me to. I've got a son to take care of and I can't do that alone."

"That's why we hired you a nanny, Edward. You do remember that don't you? Bella is Kellen's nanny we didn't hire her for your personal use."

"I know very well what she was hired for but I can't help it if I fell in love with her along the way."

He stared at her watching as she looked into his eyes, gauging the sincerity of his words, before nodding and looking away.

"Fine. Just be careful. I don't want either of you to get hurt."

"Don't worry about that. It's not your place. I'm thirty years old and I'm fully capable of making my own decisions whether they're right or not and I can deal with the consequences just the same."

Anne shrugged and grabbed her purse. "Are you coming in today?"

"I don't know yet."

He watched her let herself out then turned back to the stove to finish the omelets.

* * *

"Rise and shine…" Edward said softly as he nudged the bed causing Bella to stir. "Wakey wakey…"

She stretched her arms above her head and yawned, before pulling herself into a sitting position. "You cooked?" she asked, unsure of his cooking abilities. "Is it safe to eat?"

Edward frowned. "Fine…"

"No… no… give it here…"

He placed the tray in front of her and she smiled at the daisy that he'd put in a small vase on the side of the tray.

"It looks delicious," she smiled, surprised when he leaned down to press a gentle kiss to her lips, only to be interrupted by Kellen crying.

She made a move to get the tray out of her way and get up but he stopped her.

"I got it. You eat."

Bella watched Edward leave the room and took a bite of the omelet he'd made her, surprised by how good it tasted. She took a bite of bacon and sip of orange juice to wash it down then continued eating as she waited for him to come back into the room.

He surprised her however by changing Kellen and getting him dressed before meeting her in the bedroom with another tray of food for the two of them to share.

"Are you feeling alright this morning?"

Edward gave her an odd look and nodded. "I'm fine why?"

She shrugged. "You're just… well cooking and taking care of Kellen…"

"I was just trying to let you rest a little."

Bella smiled. "Well thank you. And breakfast was delicious."

She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek then bent down and kissed Kellen as well.

"Bewls!"

Their eyes widened as Kellen said her name to the best of his ability, waving his arms ecstatically around as he did so. "Oh my God!" she squealed.

"Bewls! Fuc!"

Edward quickly clasped his hand over Kellen's mouth. "Darn kids…" he chuckled nervously.

* * *

Jasper let himself into the house, calling for anyone who would answer knowing one of them had to be home because all of the cars were in the garage. "Edward?! Bells?!"

"Out here!" Edward called finally hearing him over Kellen's howling laughter as he splashed around in the pool with Bella. "Hey man…"

Jasper nodded his head in greeting and slipped off his shoes to join Edward on the side of the pool. "How's it going?"

Edward shrugged. "Good," he smiled watching Kellen latch onto Bella's neck as she swam towards them. "Hey buddy…" he cooed, as the child giggled and kicked in the water.

"Hey Jasper…" Bella smiled handing Kellen over to Edward, watching as he stood up and took him inside to put him down for his nap.

Jasper looked away uncomfortably as she hoisted herself up to sit next to him. "You guys get things sorted out?"

She nodded and looked at him thoughtfully. "Are you okay?"

He blushed and smiled. "I've just never seen that much of your skin… there's a lot of it… I like it."

Bella giggled and gently pushed him. "Watch it."

"I know I know. Look, I wanted to talk to you about something," he said, suddenly serious, making her a little anxious.

"Is something wrong?"

He shook his head. "No, nothing like that. I was just wondering… I mean, I know you've moved on with Edward, and it's really not like I have to ask you this but would you be okay with me dating someone else? I mean I don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything."

"Like you're making yourself?"

"Yeah…"

She smiled. "I think you should date. It'll be good for you. And what better way to forget about little ole me…"

"I don't think that's possible."

"Yeah it is. I'm too old for you anyway. I'll be drawing social security in a few years and you'd be spending it all. Trust me its better this way."

He laughed.

"Alice?"

"Huh?"

"You're going to ask out Alice."

Jasper gave her a confused look. "How'd you know?"

She shrugged. "You're too protective of her. I figured it would happen sooner or later."

"Is that going to be weird for you?"

"Why? Cause she screwed my boyfriend? Nah… I can deal with it if you can. Have you said anything to Emmett?"

Jasper gave her a less than thrilled expression. "My man parts have been threatened. But he's been notified and I've been given clearance."

She smiled and patted him on the back. "Good…Are you up for swimming?"

"Don't have my suit…" he said, shaking his head.

Bella leaned over to give him a hug and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "That's okay… You don't need one…"

Before the last word left her mouth, she'd pushed with all her strength and chuckled as Jasper floundered in the pool, only to come up and pull her in with him.

She surfaced and wiped the water out of her face seeing him leaning against the wall. "Damn, you look good wet…"

"Oh bite me…"


	28. Chapter 27

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_____****__AN: Alrighty people... I know we're only on Ch. 27 but the dramas just about to start. Yes you heard me right... there has been no drama yet compared to where this baby's about to go. Time for the jumping ahead to begin._

_**And continue to give me some heads up on some womanizing asshole Edward fanfics. **_

**Anywho... enjoy! R & R! Gimme some love people!**

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. All characters belong to the wonderful Mrs. Meyer and anything else belongs to NASCAR.** _

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Seven

_Four months later…_

"Bella?!" Edward called up the stairs after searching the downstairs for her.

She appeared at the top of the stairs in a robe and Edward smirked. "Yeah?"

"I'm taking Kellen over to my mom's. Are you going to be ready by the time I get back?"

Bella put her hands on her hips and cocked her head. "If you tell me what I'm getting ready for…"

"I'm not telling you, just get ready." He waved at her over his shoulder and she watched him walk out of the house without another word.

She stomped back upstairs to the bedroom they now shared and stood in front of the closet staring at the contents wondering what she was supposed to wear.

Edward had gotten up early that morning and left for a few hours before coming home and telling her they had plans for the evening, she had to be ready and in the car at 6:43. Not 6:30 or 6:45, 6:43. She'd questioned him about the time but he'd ignored her and went about his business, not giving her any other information.

A quick glance at the clock told her she had little less than an hour to find something to wear, fix her hair and make-up and be ready to go and though it never took her long to get ready, Edward's urgency was making her nervous, therefore slowing her down severely.

She pulled out a knee length black silk slip dress and a cropped black sweater and then rushed around the room to grab her underwear and shoes.

Hurriedly dressing she rushed into the bathroom and quickly applied her makeup going slightly heavy on the eyes then brushing at thin layer of lip gloss of her lips. She styled her hair into a smooth yet stylish ponytail and grabbed her purse off of the dresser, leaving the room only to stop and turn around and go back inside.

Paige's picture was missing. It had been there when she'd gone to bed the night before and she was pretty sure that it had been there when she'd gotten up as well.

With a shrug she went downstairs, glancing at her watch to see that it was 6:41 when the door swung open and Edward slid to a halt in the foyer. "In a hurry?" she asked with a smile, noticing the guilty smile on his face. "You didn't think I was going to be ready."

"I didn't say that," he laughed, shoving his hands into the pockets of his khaki pants. "You look beautiful though."

She stepped off of the last step and he pulled her into his arms, pressing a light kiss to her lips before opening the door and ushering her out of the house.

"Thanks for wearing heels they make your legs and ass look even more amazing than usual," he said as he locked the door behind them and led her to the car.

He held open the door as she slid into the smooth leather seats of his Volvo then ran around to get in his side and looked at his watch, hurriedly starting the car.

"Bells?"

"Yeah?"

He laughed nervously as he backed out and pulled onto the road. "I know this is going to be cheesy but just know that it's how I feel about you."

Edward turned the volume up on the radio and looked at his watch one more time before the dj spoke.

_We've got a very very special request here from Charlotte's own Edward Masen Jr. This is for you Bells. Happy birthday._

_She  
May be the face I can't forget  
The trace of pleasure or regret  
May be my treasure or the price I have to pay  
She  
May be the song that summer sings  
May be the chill that autumn brings  
May be a hundred different things  
Within the measure of a day_She looked over at Edward through tear-filled eyes and leaned over to press a kiss to his cheek. "I didn't know you knew…"

She  
May be the beauty or the beast  
May be the famine or the feast  
May turn each day into a heaven or a hell  
She may be the mirror of my dreams  
The smile reflected in a stream  
She may not be what she may seem  
Inside her shell

He shrugged like it was nothing. "Of course I knew…"

_  
__She  
Who always seems so happy in a crowd  
Whose eyes can be so private and so proud  
No one's allowed to see them when they cry  
She  
May be the love that cannot hope to last  
May come to me from shadows of the past  
That I'll remember till the day I die_

She  
May be the reason I survive  
The why and wherefore I'm alive  
The one I'll care for through the rough in ready years  
Me  
I'll take her laughter and her tears  
And make them all my souvenirs  
For where she goes I've got to be  
The meaning of my life is

She  
She, oh she

"Thank you," she smiled at him receiving an usually nervous smile in response. "Is everything okay?"

He nodded quickly. "Yeah, I just feel like dorky kid dedicating a song to you on the radio."

"You're definitely not a dorky kid. And it was wonderful. I love Elvis Costello." Bella ruffled his hair before threading her fingers into the messy length at the base of his neck but he reached back and pulled her hand to his mouth and kissed her palm before threading his fingers through hers and resting them in his lap.

Edward slowed his car and pulled into a driveway causing Bella to look around and frown. "I'm not dressed for a day on the lake Edward …"

He just chuckled and got out of the car, walking around to her side to open the door. "And I am?" he said, stepping back making sure she got a good look at his khaki pants and sage green polo. "Come on. Do me a favor though and don't tell any of the guys I dedicated a song to you when you see them. It'll ruin my rep."

Taking her hand, he lead her to the front door of a fairly large home, built solidly on the shore of Lake Norman.

He didn't bother knocking, just opened the door and strode in, surprised when she pulled back.

"Edward, we can't just walk into someone's house."

"Come on…" he laughed shaking his head and pulling her in behind him to close the door. "You like it?"

Her gaze roamed the large living room with at least 25' vaulted ceilings. There was a wall of glass looking out over the lake and a large patio beyond. "It's great, now why are we here?" she said looking back at him in irritation only to be startled when about 30 people jumped out of nowhere screaming "Surprise!".

"Edward…" she whispered, seeing Emmett, Rosalie, Esme, Carlisle, Jasper, Alice, Anne and Elizabeth along with many of the other drivers and their wives that she'd befriended at the track over the last few months. "I don't believe you."

Emmett pushed through the crowd and pulled Bella into his arms. "Happy birthday Worm," he chuckled in her ear, leaning up to press a soft kiss to her cheek before stepping back to make room for the others.

He pulled Edward to the side, moving him out of the doorway and towards the kitchen. "Did you tell her yet?"

Edward frowned. "Tell her what?"

Emmett rolled his eyes. "That you love her."

"I told her that when we started dating months ago man," Edward laughed, easing his mind, afraid there was some big secret that he wasn't aware of yet that he had to tell her about.

"Oh… Hmm."

"What?"

Emmett shook his head. "Nothing… What'd you get her for her birthday?"

"Now why would I tell you? I know for damn sure you'd tell her or someone else before I had a chance and that would just mess things up. How you like having Jasper in the family?"

"Shut up," Emmett bit back, looking over his shoulder to make sure there was no one around. "It's ridiculous. All they do is kiss and hug and rub on each other all the time. I swear I'm getting sick of it. The other night when I got back to my coach, they were in my bed… fucking up a storm. Alice was screaming and wailing about how big his dick was and I swear I thought I was going to puke right then. That's my baby sister."

"She's not a baby. How many times do I have to tell you that? Why were they in your coach anyway?"

Emmett shrugged. "Hell if I know. Something about a Gears tournament going on in his and they wanted to be alone."

"You know, if you want to give Bella back to Jasper I will not mind."

"So I get Alice back? She's nineteen now so it's not that bad anymore," he smirked doing his best to agitate his soon to be future brother-in-law. Emmett had already bought the ring and was waiting for the right time to propose to Rosalie, of course he'd been waiting for the right time for nearly six months. "Did you do it yet?"

"What?"

"Really Em? You've had the…" Edward looked around and lowered his voice. "You've had the ring for six months are you ever gonna ask her or what? You guys have been together for 5 years and don't think I don't know about what you were doing with her at nineteen."

Emmett punched him lightly in the stomach then turned and grabbed two beers out of the ice-filled sink. "Here, peace offering. Now go save Bells, looks like Mike has gotten a hold of her."

* * *

Bella wandered through the house trying to find Edward. It had been a little over an hour since he'd attempted to rescue her from Mike Newton but once he started talking not even an atomic blast was going to quiet him until he finished what he had to say.

She stepped out onto the patio and found him talking to James Hunter. She slipped up on them quietly but their conversation came to a quick halt when James caught sight of her and pulled her against him.

"What ya sneakin' up on us for Ms. Bella?" he chuckled, wrapping her in a tight hug. "Happy birthday."

"Thanks James," she smiled before turning towards Edward. "Thanks for the rescue attempt."

"He just shut up?"

She nodded. "It's alright. Could've been someone I didn't like."

"Are you ready for your cake now? Cause I've been drooling over it for about … well all day, I love me some cake." James broke in, giving her puppy dog eyes.

She shrugged. "I suppose so."

They went inside and everyone did their best to gather into the kitchen for Bella to blow on the candles on her cake.

Tyler pulled it out of the refrigerator and placed it on the counter in front of Bella, who burst out laughing to see Edward's face smiling up at her in icing.

"This is so cheesy…" she giggled, causing Edward to pout as he lit the candles. "Try not to burn the house down with that."

After a rousingly off key rendition of 'Happy Birthday' she blew out her candles and took an inordinate amount of pleasure in cutting into the cake.

Edward stopped her and stepped back looking at everyone else. "While I have everyone's attention I'd like to give Bella her present."

Bella set the knife on the counter with shaking hands, suddenly nervous as she watched Edward open a drawer and pull out a ring box before lowering to his knee in front of her.

Her mouth fell open as did everyone else's when he opened the lid revealing a large emerald cut diamond.

"Bella… will you marry me?"

She slowly nodded her head, not quite sure what was happening but she was absolutely positively sure that she did want to marry this man.

He slipped the ring on her finger and stood up, pulling her into his arms, following with a long passionate kiss that received more than its share of laughs and catcalls from their friends.

"I love you…" he whispered as he leaned his forehead against hers.

"I love you too…"


	29. Chapter 28

_____****__AN: Okay, maybe I should've said this is where the drama begins. And just before I get a ton of messages at the end of this wondering why I'm always hating on Alice please remember I didn't hate her in This Year's Girl and there is a reason for what happens in the chapter. It builds up to a whole bunch of shit. And just because I said there's drama doesn't mean that I'm going to break up Edward and Bella or let anyone come between them. Personally that's not my kind of drama, that shit stresses me out more than anything and I'm using the word shit a lot this morning. ? _

**_Anyhizzle...I'm being stalked by Emmett's vehicle. Every time I turn a corner or look in my rear view mirror it's there but there is no Emmett behind the wheel so it's beginning to frustrate me. Granted if it were Emmett I'd feign car trouble and flag him down that have my wicked way with him on the side of the road, or the back or his Jeep. Or up against my new car...*sigh* Yeah my mind's not running away with me this morning at ALL._**

**_Alrighty people here comes the fun stuff! :P Time to jump ahead 6 more months. Also, before anyone else asks, YES EDWARD KNOWS THAT BELLA WAS TOLD SHE COULDN'T HAVE ANYMORE CHILDREN. There are at least ten more chapters I believe, I lost count but we're nowhere near finished with this. Enjoy!_**

___**And continue to give me some heads up on some womanizing asshole Edward fanfics. **_

**R & R! Appease the feedback whore inside.**

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. All characters belong to the wonderful Mrs. Meyer and anything else belongs to NASCAR.** _

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Eight

_Six months later…_

"Edward!" Bella called from their bathroom. She needed him to tell her if she was seeing things because she was for damn sure confused. "Edward!"

"What? What?" he groaned as he stumbled into the room with his hair sticking in all directions and crease on his cheek where he'd been sleeping.

"What do you see?"

Edward looked at her confused before looking down at the counter and white stick that sat on the edge. "Two lines… two…" He turned to look at her and smiled. "Two… You're pregnant!? You're pregnant!?"

He picked her up in his arms and spun her around planting a firm kiss on her lips before setting her down.

She shook her head. "No… The… the doctor told me I couldn't have any more children…" she said softly, a frown furrowing her brow. "This isn't right."

Edward frowned and pulled her into his arms, rubbing her back softly. "Shh… It's okay. We'll go to the doctor okay? We'll get them to do a test and check things out."

Bella nodded and wiped her eyes in frustration. "Okay. I'm going to go check on Kellen."

He watched her walk away and looked back down at the stick on the counter. There were two very distinct solid lines. And as much as he wanted to shout it from the rooftops, he knew he couldn't but he would hold to the belief that she was pregnant.

Walking into the bedroom he grabbed the phone and called his sister.

"Hello?"

"Es? What's your doctor's name?"

Esme was silent for a moment before speaking. "Um… I have a few Eddie. Which one?"

"Your pregnant doctor."

"What?! Which one of my doctors is pregnant?"

Edward rolled his eyes. "You know what I'm talking about Esme. The guy you go to when you're pregnant… shit I can't think my mind's…"

"My obstetrician?"

"Yes. Obstetrician that's it. I can barely remember my name right now."

"It's Dr. Simmons but… Bella? I thought she couldn't have children."

"Well… that's why we need to go to the doctor. She hasn't been feeling well so she took a test this morning just because she couldn't think of anything else that could be wrong with her and it came back positive. We just need to make sure because she thinks it's a false positive or something."

"Well, I'll call him and see when he can fit her in."

"Thanks Es."

"No problem."

Edward hung up and went into the nursery where he found Bella sitting on the floor playing with Kellen. "Esme's going to call her doctor and try to get you an appointment this week alright?"

She nodded and pulled her lip into her mouth, chewing on it nervously. "Are you working today?"

He shrugged and ran a soft hand through her now, shoulder length hair. "I don't have to. Do you want me to stay home with you?"

"I don't know… I don't know what I want to do today. I just feel anxious and… blah…"

Edward chuckled and pulled her to her feet, pulling her behind him into the bedroom. "What can I do?"

Bella frowned. "I don't know. I just… I'm really just restless. I don't know what's going on."

"Why don't you go shopping today? You can call and see if mom or Rosalie wants to join you and I'll take Kellen to work with me."

"You can't take Kellen. He'll be in the way."

Edward shook his head. "I've got a playpen in my office, he'll be fine."

"He's almost big enough to climb out now, you know that right."

"Yes, but I won't leave him alone. He hasn't been up there in a while and I think Carlisle was going to drop by for a bit today so he can play with him for a while too. I'll get him to wear him out so I can have my way with you tonight."

He leaned down and attacked her neck with his mouth, causing her to giggle. "Stop…" she squealed. "Fine. I'll go spend your money, if you insist. But I'll go by myself. Your sister is completely caught up in wedding details now that Emmett finally manned up and that's the last thing I want to get stuck in the middle of. Knowing Rosalie she'd have me at every bridal store in the state of North Carolina and you probably wouldn't see me for three or four days."

"I insist you spend my money." He laughed and kissed her forehead. "Just make sure you buy me something. I'll call you when I talk to Esme okay?"

She nodded and sat on the bed quietly until she heard the front door close and Edward's car pull out of the drive.

After a whirlwind three month engagement and wedding, to say Bella had been zapped for energy would've been an understatement. She'd barely had a moment to herself for months and though he'd suggested calling one of the girls to go shopping with her, she just needed to be alone.

Taking a quick shower, she got dressed and grabbed her purse before getting into the Volvo XC-90 that Edward had gotten her for a wedding gift and leisurely made her way to the mall.

She bought Kellen some new shoes, Edward some button down shirts and she'd splurged on a manicure and pedicure before stopping in at a few more stores and heading home.

It was a little before five when she got home and checked the answering machine. A message from Esme confirmed she had an appointment the next day at 9. She also offered to keep Kellen while they were at the doctor which was a huge help.

Just as she was pulling some noodles out of the cabinet for some spaghetti, the telephone rang.

"Hello?"

"Bells?" a shaky scared voice barely whispered through the phone.

"Yeah? Alice? Is that you?"

She heard sniffling over the line. "Yeah… Um… Can you come to the hospital? I can't be alone right now…"

"What? What happened? Are you okay?"

"Just please… Emmett's back home visiting mom and Richard and Jasper's testing at Texas… I need someone with me."

Bella sighed. "Yeah… I'll be there. Where are you?"

"Room 416."

After a quick call to Edward, she made sure the stove was turned off and ran outside, wondering what Alice had gotten herself into now.

* * *

Bella walked down the empty hallway, cringing as the sound of her shoes echoed loudly. "Ali?" she called, knocking on the door to room 416 as she let herself in. "Hey…"

Alice was curled on her side facing the door, her hand wrapped lazily across her waist and her face was red and tear-stained. She sniffled and pushed herself into a sitting position. "Hey."

"What's going on?"

"I…"

"Well, Ms. Brandon, you're tests look okay…" the doctor said ,looking down at the charts as he walked into the room not realizing Bella was standing there until he almost walked into her. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you had someone in here. Hi, I'm Dr. Milner."

"Bella Masen," she smiled, shaking his hand.

"Masen? Any relation?"

She nodded and smiled. "Edward's my husband."

He nodded and looked at Alice. "I'm going to keep you here for observation tonight but you should be able to go home tomorrow. You lost a lot of blood when you miscarried so we just need to get your levels back up. The last thing we need is you passing out by yourself."

Bella watched him leave them room before turning back to the girl in the bed. "Miscarried? What the hell Alice?"

Alice shook her head. "I didn't know."

Bella rolled her neck and walked around the bed to sit in the chair next to the window. "Have you talked to Jasper yet? Was it his?"

"Yes it was his. What kind of question is that? I haven't been with anyone else but him since we got together. He's my fiance for God's sake Bells, I'm not going to cheat on him."

"You're right. I'm sorry. I've just got a lot of my own mess going on. Have you even called Emmett? He'd probably want to know what's going on. At least that you're okay."

Alice gave her a pleading look.

"Oh no. He's your brother."

"But he likes you more. He does anything you ask him to, Bells. You know he won't take it so hard coming from you."

Bella crossed her arms over her chest and narrowed her eyes. "I'll call Emmett if you call Jasper right now, while I'm sitting here and tell him what happened."

"Bells…"

"Nope. It's time for you to grow up and face things. You have to be honest with him about this stuff because if you don't tell him, he will find out eventually and then he'll never trust you again."

"Fine."

She grabbed the phone and dialed Jasper's number while Bella sat by and watched, waiting silently until she hung up. "He's coming home… they're about an hour away. He said he'd be here as soon as they land."

Bella nodded and pulled out her cell phone and called Emmett. The moment he answered, Edward walked into the room with Kellen sound asleep in his arms and looked between the two women with curious eyes.

"Emmett? Hey… um… this is Bella."

Emmett chuckled. "Hey Bells. Why you sound uncertain of who you are?"

"Just tired I guess. Look I was just going to call you because Alice's in the hospital."

"WHAT!?! What happened? Is she…"

"She's fine. She's sleeping…" she added glaring at Alice before meeting Edward's gaze and rolling her eyes. "She had a miscarriage. She's fine but she lost a lot of blood so they doctors are going to keep her here overnight."

"Where's Jasper?"

"He's on his way back from Texas. He should be here in about an hour and a half."

Emmett swore under his breath. "I didn't even know she was pregnant, Bells."

"Neither did she. I just wanted you to know. I'll have her call you tomorrow."

"Alright. Thanks…"

Bella hung up the phone and looked at her husband, who'd sat in the chair next to her, staring at Alice with his mouth hanging open. She reached over and pushed up his chin then turned to Alice.

"Do you want us to stay with you until Jasper gets here?"

Alice nodded and leaned back. "If you don't mind. Edward?"

He shook his head a little and looked at her. She looked like a little girl, more so than he'd ever noticed before. "Yeah?"

"Can Kellen lay here with me?"

Edward smiled and laid the child next to her on the bed then rejoined his wife. "This is going to be a long night…"

* * *

Bella stared at the sheet the doctor had handed her and the prescription in her hand with her mouth hanging open then looked at Edward. He was trying his hardest to keep the smile off of his face but he couldn't.

"Say it…"

"I'm going to be a dad!" he yelped, causing her to laugh.

She shook her head. "You already are a dad."

"But I'm going to be one again!"

"Great… all I need. Three children…" she replied dryly, finally letting the happy tears fall. She'd been given another chance. She was going to be a mother.


	30. Chapter 29

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_______****__AN: Sooo... I'm being nice again and giving you another update. Next week I'll be going back to once a day. If I keep posting at this pace you'll have no story to be updated except for White Flag and thats only weekly at this point in time. Now, I know some of you are upset that I didn't include Edward and Bella's wedding. Some of you are thankful. Honestly people, I hate writing weddings. I mean there are only so many ways that they can be written and well... I don't like weddings. I don't, I honestly wouldn't have even gone to mine if I didnt just totally love my dress. I think they're a waste of money and a wonderful way to pile up an enormous amount of debt to add additional strain to the already stressful part of your life known as marriage. Granted I didn't get in debt and my husband and I paid cash for everything and only spent about $ 7000 which included our honeymoon (1 week in Jamaica at an ultra-inclusive resort) but still... I'm a tomboy at heart, weddings do nothing for me. HOWEVER... you will find out a little bit about there wedding but it's near the end of the story because that's just where it fit in._

**And I will go ahead and promise some happiness for Alice. I honestly do not hate her. I love her... I'm completely jealous of her spunky personality and beauty and I will always be a Bella (you know, negative self image, realistic, klutzy... I can go on). Anyhizzie... on to a wonderfully short chapter with a lot of insight.**

**I LOVE YOUSE GUYS!**

___**And continue to give me some heads up on some womanizing asshole Edward fanfics. (This will continue to be posted until I have an extremely self-indulgent amount of womanizing Edward.)**_

**R & R! Appease the feedback whore inside.**

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. All characters belong to the wonderful Mrs. Meyer and anything else belongs to NASCAR.** _

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Nine

She sat on the fallen tree trunk staring out at the water wondering if she was going to make it through this.

_You've been blessed with the sweetest gift… _Those words had echoed through her mind all morning, the words that Paige had spoken to her in a dream last night. It wasn't the first time something like that had happened. Before she and Edward had gotten married she'd had doubts but as she had the previous night, Paige seemed to say her peace and everything was okay after that.

What it really came down to, though, was one simple thing. She was scared to death.

A snapping twig behind her drew her out of her thoughts and she turned around.

"Sorry," Jasper smiled. "I was trying not to interrupt you."

She smiled and patted the spot next to her. "How's Ali?"

"Tired," he sighed. "She's at home. The doctor's got her on some sedatives for a few days and some anti-depressants for a few days after that. So far she hasn't said much about it, she seems pretty normal but the doctor said sometimes it takes a few days to sink in. It would've been harder on her had she known beforehand but you never know with Alice. She could be over it in a day or hanging on to it months from now."

"Do they know what happened?"

He shrugged. "She just overdid herself and her body wasn't ready to carry a child."

"Well, how are you holding up?"

Jasper looked out at the calm water, afraid to meet her gaze, knowing if he saw any sympathy there he would no doubt lose it. "I lost a child I didn't even know I had…" he whispered before his voice faded to nothing.

"Look, I'm going to head home. You came here to be alone and I'm not…"

"Don't leave me…" he said softly, grabbing her hand before she could stand up. "Just sit here with me for awhile."

Bella nodded and sat back down, slipping her arm through Jasper's and they leaned against each other for support.

"Congratulations, by the way."

"Jasper…"

"No, look Bells. I'm happy for you guys. I really am. I know how devastated you were when you told me that you couldn't have any more children and I swear I've never been happier for anyone. You deserve another chance."

"I'm scared Jasper."

The wind picked up, sending a shockingly cold chill through the trees and they cuddled closer, both pulling their jackets tighter against their bodies.

"I'm so scared I'm going to have the complications I had with Seth and what if they're not able to save the baby… I could die having this child, Jasper."

"Don't talk like that. You've been given this chance for a reason."

She looked down at their entwined hands and smiled. "I had a dream about Paige last night."

"What? What was it about?"

"She was telling me not to worry about the baby. She said '_You've been blessed with the sweetest gift…' _and it's just been going through my mind all day. Every time I close my eyes, I see her saying it I hear her… it's just…"

"Maybe you've got a little help then. Maybe that's why you're pregnant when you were told you would never be able to have children again. Bella, I'm not a spiritual person by any means but as I've told you before I strongly believe that you're here for a reason and I think Paige had something to do with that."

Bella smiled and pressed her hand to Jasper's face and leaned over to give him a kiss on the cheek. "I'm going to go home."

He nodded and stood to help her up.

"Jasper?"

"Yeah?"

She looked at the ground before looking at him. "I'm sorry… about the baby."

He nodded and watched her walk away before sitting back down and burying his face in his hands, finally letting the tears fall and the sobs break free.

* * *

When Bella got back to the house she found Edward in his office on the phone telling yet another person that they were expecting.

She could've sworn he'd covered the entire southeast last night but apparently she'd been wrong.

After checking on Kellen, she went into the living room and flopped unceremoniously on the sofa and stared at a blank television screen before closing her eyes and leaning her head back.

"Baby? You okay?"

She opened her eyes and stretched her arms over her head. "I'm fine. I'm just tired."

"Why don't you go get in bed?"

"Not ready right now. Did you call everyone yet? Please tell me you did."

He chuckled and sat next to her, pulling her against him to rest her head on his shoulder. "All the family and close friends know. And I guess they're really the only ones that matter. And mom's taking you to lunch tomorrow. Something about the horrors of birthing a Masen came out of her mouth too."

She gave him a weak smile and looked at the floor.

"What's wrong?"

"I ran into Jasper a little while ago… he's not doing as well as he's making out."

Edward nodded slowly. "Where is he?"

"_His_ lake," she smiled.

Edward kissed her forehead. "Why don't you go lay down for a little while since Kellen's sleeping. I'll be back."

* * *

Edward watched Jasper from a distance before approaching him. He wanted to see how he was reacting when he was alone and it was just what he'd expected. He was torn apart.

He coughed as he got close, giving his friend time to regain his composure, before he got to him. "Hey Jazz, what's up?"

Jasper looked over his shoulder at Edward quickly and pulled his hat down further on his head, trying to shield his tear stained eyes from his friends gaze. "Just regrouping."

"You okay?"

"You know I'm not. That's why you're out here."

Edward shrugged. "Yeah… Bella's worried so I told her I'd come out here. She really shouldn't have been out here in this cold to begin with but I was afraid she'd beat me up if I didn't let her go. I thought it'd be good for her though, she's been a little out of it since she got up."

"She dreamed about Paige last night. Did she tell you that?"

"No," Edward frowned. "What was it? Was it bad?"

Jasper smiled. "No. The way I see it she was giving you two her blessing with the baby."

Jasper pushed his hat back on his head and buried his face in his hands. "Why did this happen Edward? How is it that you try to prevent things and when they happen and something goes wrong, you realize how much you wanted it?"

"I don't know man. I just know that you've just got to realize it happened for a reason."

"What reason could there be for an innocent child to die before it even had a chance to live?"

Edward looked at his friend, his heart breaking for him as tears slowly began to trail over his cheeks. "I have no clue. Maybe… hell I don't know. Are you guys having problems at all?"

Jasper shrugged. "I'm just never around anymore… at least that's been the argument lately."

"You're not messing around on her are you?"

"Hell no! I learned my lesson when I fucked up with Bells. I'm not doing that shit anymore. I don't even drink when I'm out. I don't think I've touched a beer in months unless I'm just at home with her. I just… when I'm home, I'm sleeping because I'm so worn out from all the testing and promotional shit I've been doing and then I get up and I'm gone for a week. It's not really something I can help right now."

"Have you asked her to go with you?"

"Naw…"

Edward chuckled. "What's she going to do during the season?"

"She's going to be doing lap times like she was for Emmett."

"Well… all I can say is maybe this miscarriage was a sign that you guys need to take a look at what you've got and re-evaluate it. As much as I work, which is a helluva lot more than you, rookie, I always make sure to make time for Bella. Because I didn't do that with Paige and before I knew it, I didn't have her anymore."

Jasper nodded.

"I'm going to head back. Just remember what I said. Re-evaluate."

"Got it, boss."


	31. Chapter 30

_________****__AN: Okay, so I want to say a few things really quick. First off, I'm a die hard NASCAR fan I love the sport, I love the drivers (most of them anyway) and I have the utmost respect for the history of NASCAR. That being said, in the reality of this story, there are no Earnhardts. The Masens are the Earnhardts of NASCAR in my fan fic world therefore when I said the Dega is the house Masen built that is why. I have nothing against the Earnhardts, I have a painting of Dale Sr. w/ Jr. on my office wall. But I also live in Alabama therefore Dega is my "home" track and that's the track that I'm going to use for some of my referencing. I've been to other tracks but as for as I'm concerned there's no better place than Talladega. I love Dale Sr. I love Dale Jr (not in the wanna get me some sense but love him nonetheless, I'm a Casey Mears girl) so please believe me when I say that no disrespect was intended when "Edward" made his comment about Dega. This is FICTION. I'm aware the Dega is the house of Earnhardt, you can't live here and not know that. So anyone that was offended, I'm sorry you took it that way and please believe me when I say that. _

_**Now, this is jumping ahead...AGAIN... six more months but as I've stated in the past its necessary because I honestly don't want to spend the next year of my life writing Bella through a pregnancy and Alice through an engagement and wedding. And just for the record, I have nothing against pregnant women. Though I am slightly bitter seeing that I've been trying to get pregnant and every single day one more person pops up to tell me they are. I have 15 pregnant friends and one that had a baby last week. I'm just SUPER bitter right now. And yes I know, don't think about it, it'll happen... WELL BLAH BLAH BLAH. I swear if I didn't want a kid I would've been pregnant 6 months ago. :D**_

_____**Continue to give me some heads up on some womanizing asshole Edward fanfics. (This will continue to be posted until I have an extremely self-indulgent amount of womanizing Edward.)**_

**_Also, White Flag has been updated._**

**R & R! Appease the feedback whore inside.**

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. All characters belong to the wonderful Mrs. Meyer and anything else belongs to NASCAR.** _

* * *

Chapter Thirty

_Six months later_

"Son of a fucking whore!" Edward growled, throwing down the screwdriver before he stood up and stalked into the kitchen to get a beer.

Bella leaned against the counter and crossed her arms over her chest as she raised an eyebrow. "Problem?"

He nodded and threw his head back, quickly downing the cold liquid. "Stupid ass fuckers wouldn't know instructions if they got lodged in their asses."

"What are you talking about?" she laughed, placing a gentle hand on her stomach.

Edward just shrugged. "Kellen's new bed. I can't get the thing figured out. I've followed the instructions to a tee and for the life of me it's not looking anything like a bed."

They'd decided to buy a small bed for Kellen so he could get used to sleeping in a normal bed and the baby could use his crib. Seeing that he was going on 2 ½ it was well past time for him to move up as it was. So a toddler bed from Pottery Barn was purchased and Edward had spent a better part of 2 days trying to put the thing together after he'd spent the last week cleaning out her old bedroom and preparing it for Kellen's new room.

He stepped towards her and slipped an arm around her waist before placing his hand over hers, gently caressing her swollen abdomen.

"So Kellen slept through your tantrum? That's not normal."

"Masens… we're good at ignoring things."

Bella rolled her eyes. "I see. I swear I feel like I'm going to pop at any given moment."

He helped her into the living room where she laid down on the couch and propped her legs in his lap so he could rub her feet. She was into her seventh month and well beyond huge.

She'd been the same way with Seth which had her worried. After talking to the doctors and explaining what had happened before they decided a cesarean would be the best option to keep both she and the baby safe. He'd also urged her to do yoga and other exercises just to keep fit and healthy.

And though the suspense was killing both of them, they decided to wait until the birth to find out the sex of the baby. But all Edward talked about was a little girl and Bella was happy with whatever they had.

She watched Edward as he zoned out, still rubbing her sore feet as he stared into space lost in thought, something he did quite often lately.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked softly, smiling when he looked down at her.

He shook his head. "Dad… I wish he could be here to see me now… he wouldn't believe it."

"He'd be proud of you, Edward. I'm sure he is proud of you. You're a great father and a wonderful husband."

A smile tugged at his lips as Kellen started calling him from his room. "Daddy duty calls…"

Bella laughed as he jumped up and ran to get Kellen, cringing at the pain the shot through her with his sudden movement.

* * *

Alice stared at Jasper in shock. "You have lost your fucking mind, Jasper. We can't do this, our families would kick our asses."

"They don't have to know…"

"Um… how are we going to keep it from them? I know they say what happens in Vegas stays here but that's not true… this shit always comes back to haunt you. Remember Britney?"

Jasper brushed her hair back with his hands and pulled her against him, lowering his head to press a soft kiss to her lips. "I just want to marry you, Ali, I'm tired of waiting."

She looked into his hazy blue eyes and sighed. "Fine…"

"Really?" he smiled.

"Yes, really… but we're not telling anyone alright. Our parents have already forked out too much money for our wedding they'd kill us if they knew."

"Can we at least tell Edward and Bells?"

"Fine, but that's all…"

* * *

Edward rolled over and slapped the alarm clock once more. Bella had kept him up most of the night. She'd been suffering from restless leg syndrome for the last few months of her pregnancy but the closer she was getting to the due date the harder it was on her.

He was actually expecting the doctor to put her on bed rest any day. Though she'd been fairly active throughout, lately she had been more and more exhausted at the end of the day, not to mention when she woke up.

After taking a quick shower he got dressed and got his suitcase out of the closet and went to wake up Kellen.

The last time Bella had gone to the track was nearly three weeks ago and since then, he'd been taking Kellen with him and he'd been staying with Esme and Karsyn while Edward was working. His mom hardly ever went to any of the races so she was always home and Rosalie had volunteered to stay behind and not go to the tracks with Emmett so Bella would have someone else close by if she needed them.

Bella was lonely without either of them their but knew she wasn't in the shape to take care of a toddler with her due date a few months away.

"Bells…"

She stretched and rolled onto her back to look up at him. "Hey…" she said groggily. "Are you leaving?"

Edward nodded and kissed her. "You promise to call if you have any problems?"

"Edward, you're going to be on the other side of the country. If I have a problem, I'm not going to call you. I'll call your mom or Rose. If it's something serious, they'll call you."

He nodded and kissed her again. "I'll call you when I get to Vegas okay?"

"Okay… Keep my baby out of the casinos."

"Aww, but he gets me ass."

"Edward Anthony!!"

"Hey! I'm kidding. I love you."

"I love you too…"

* * *

Edward watched Kellen sleeping on the plane and smiled. He was becoming more and more like Edward with each passing day but he looked more and more like Paige except for that damn reddish bronze hair.

He thought about what Bella had said before he left. _Keep my baby out of the casinos. _Sometimes she reminded him so much of Paige. The way she was with Jasper and Emmett being a prime example.

But if a stranger were to watch her with Kellen, they wouldn't think twice in assuming she was his mother. Because the more he looked like Paige, the more he looked like Bella. He'd never noticed the resemblance until the other day when he'd gotten home and they were cuddled up together in the bed, both of their faces peaceful in slumber and nearly identical.

He looked out of the window and smiled. _Thank you Paige…_When he got to the track he somehow managed to open the door to his coach, grab his bags, and Kellen all in one trip, barely stumbling through the doors before Kellen squirmed out of his hands.

* * *

"Unca Japs!" he called, running towards the couch and catching Edward's attention on the way.

Edward looked up in surprise to see Jasper and Alice sitting on the couch and Kellen climbing into his "Uncle" Jasper's lap. "You could help me ya know…" he growled, nodding at Alice as she got up and took some bags from him. "Thanks."

After getting everything into the bedroom he joined them in the living room and sat in the recliner. "Why are you guys in here?"

"Wegotmarried…" Alice said in a breathy rush.

Edward's eyes got wide. "I… I thought you're wedding was in December."

"I didn't want to wait," Jasper shrugged, trying his best not to smile.

"Well, congrats guys." He stood up and shook Jasper's hand before giving him a manly hug. Two quick slaps on the back with as little physical contact as possible. He turned to pull Alice in his arms and she buried her face in his neck as he bent to hug her.

"Thanks Edward."

A cell phone ringing broke through the celebration and Edward glanced at the number, trying to reign in the panic when he saw Bella's name.

"Hello?"

"Edward?"

"Rose? Why are you calling from Bella's phone?"

"I'm on my way to the hospital with her. She's gone into labor."


	32. Chapter 31

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_________****__AN: Since I'm so nice, I'm going to relieve your last cliffhanger and leave you with another, well not really but you wont' get any closure by the end of this chapter, so I'm not sure which one you'd prefer but I'm sure I'll be on all of your shit lists before the days over. All I can give you at this point is that ... well I'm not going to give you anything, you'll have to read it to find out and I didn't just tell you there was going to be drama for the hell of it... the drama is truly about to kick in. There are 9 more chapters and an epilogue to this story so it's not quite over yet._

**One more thing... regarding White Flag (I'm posting this here since it won't be updated for another week)... Alice will be in the story but it will be a little while before she makes an appearance. She's been gone for 8 months so just keep that in mind she can't just pop up like nothing happened.**

_____**Continue to give me some heads up on some womanizing asshole Edward fanfics. (This will continue to be posted until I have an extremely self-indulgent amount of womanizing Edward.)**_

**R & R! Appease the feedback whore inside.**

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. All characters belong to the wonderful Mrs. Meyer and anything else belongs to NASCAR.** _

* * *

Chapter Thirty-One

Edward stared at the phone in his hand after Rosalie hung up, unable to make his body respond to what he'd just been told.

"Edward?" Jasper asked, noticing the sickly pallor of his friend's face. "Edward? What's wrong man?"

When he looked up, he resembled a lost, scared child. "Bells… Be… Bella's in labor."

"What!? What the hell are you sitting here for!? Let's go!" Jasper yelled, motioning for Alice to get Kellen and his things and he called ahead to have their plane ready for them when they got to the airport all the while Edward sat there in a stupor. "Edward! Get your ass moving now…"

Edward stood up and shook his head, walking out of his coach towards the car without much realization to what he was doing.

"I thought Bells was only 7 months?" Alice asked from the backseat up to Jasper and Edward.

"She is…" Edward replied softly. "Oh God…"

Jasper looked over at his friend, unable to handle it if he lost it now. "Just hold in there, man, everything's going to be fine. Paige and your daddy won't let anything happen to them."

* * *

Rosalie Masen Brandon crossed her arms and huffed in frustration as nurses and orderlies rushed around her but she couldn't get anyone to speak to her. "Excuse me!?" she yelled, finally fed up with being ignored.

The nurse at the desk looked up at her with irritation. "What?"

She bit her tongue knowing an attitude would get her nowhere. "Can you possibly tell me the status of Mrs. Masen? I brought her in over an hour ago."

"Are you a relative?"

"Yes, I'm her sister-in-law. She doesn't have any other family here and my brother is on a plane on his way here from Vegas can you please just tell me something to clear my mind?"

"I'm sorry ma'm. If you're not immediate family. I can't tell you anything."

"She doesn't have any immediate family! All she's got is us, what the hell do you consider immediate?"

"What about us?"

Rosalie turned around to find Anne and Elizabeth. "Thank God you're here."

The nurse cleared her throat and looked at the women who'd just arrived. "And you are?"

"We're her mothers-in-law."

She rolled her eyes. "Do you have some identification that I can compare with her chart? It's really not our practice to do this."

Anne handed over her license as did Elizabeth.

A moment later they were given back. "Sorry, with this being a high profile patient we have to be careful. I'll let the doctor know you're here."

"What the hell am I? I'm just as much family as the two of you," Rosalie growled bitterly.

The three women took a seat in the waiting area nervously awaiting the doctor's arrival.

"Rosie, what happened?" Anne asked as soon as they sat down.

Rosalie just shrugged her shoulders. "I just went by to see her and she was fine when I got there but we were talking and she'd gotten up to go get something Edward had bought for the baby that she wanted me to see and she stopped at the foot of the stairs, her face was red and it was almost like she wasn't getting any air. It scared the hell out of me. The next thing I knew there was water all over the floor."

"Mrs. Masen?"

Anne and Elizabeth both looked up to find a man in about his mid thirties. "Hi, I'm Dr. Kellerman."

"I thought Bella was seeing Dr. Simmons," Anne asked politely as she shook his hand before he turned to Elizabeth.

He nodded. "She is but Dr. Simmons is on vacation. I've got a call in to him so I can find out the details of her pregnancy but right now she's suffering from pre-eclampsia and her body is retaining a lot of fluid. I'm really surprised she's even been able to move around without help."

"Is she going to be okay? What about the baby?" Elizabeth asked hurriedly, her nervousness obvious in her voice.

"Right now, we're doing some blood test and ultrasounds to check on the baby. We've been able to stop the labor for now but we should know a little more within a few hours. I'm sorry but that's really all I can tell you right now."

They nodded.

"Can we see her?" Rosalie asked.

He smiled. "At the moment she's sedated but as soon as she wakes up we'll let you know."

They sat back and watched him leave before looking at each other. "I don't think praying is going to hurt," Anne said quietly.

The other two women nodded and they joined hands then sat silently with their heads bowed and their eyes closed.

* * *

Alice watched Edward before turning back to Jasper with a worried look on her face. "He's completely lethargic Jasper. I haven't seen any emotion out of him since we left the coach."

"He thinks it's happening all over again Alice."

"Huh?"

Jasper looked down at their entwined hands. He'd forgotten that Alice didn't know about Paige. She'd heard her name on occasion but she'd never been told the details of her death. "Nothing," he said, shaking his head. "I'll tell you about it later."

Once the plane had landed, they got their things together and got into Alice's car, arriving at the hospital not twenty minutes later to find Rosalie, Anne and Elizabeth sitting silently in the waiting room in obvious prayer.

Alice looked at Jasper who looked at Edward, neither surprised when he walked back outside.

"Why don't you take Kellen to see his grandmothers, I'm going to try to talk to Edward ."

Jasper walked back through the doors and looked for a few minutes before finding Edward sitting on a bench in the hospital courtyard. "Edward?"

"I don't want to talk right now Jasper. I can't go through this again. Not with Bells."

He sighed. "It's not the same thing, Edward. She's not sick she's not going to die. She's just in labor."

"She's not just in labor, Jasper. She's only 30 weeks. If she has the baby now, there's a very big chance that things aren't going to be okay. And I don't know if I can handle it if something happens to her or my baby."

"Edward, Bella's stronger than all of us combined. You just have to believe that, man. She's going to be fine. So is the baby. You're all going to be one big freaking happy family."

Alice walked up quietly, trying not to interrupt but needing to relay a message to Edward. "Hey…"

They both looked up at her, the stress and concern taking a toll on them. "Bella's awake, Edward. Go in and see her."

Before the words were barely out of her mouth, he took off at a run towards the door.

Alice stopped in front of Jasper and crossed her arms over her chest. "Tell me about Paige. Now."

* * *

Edward stood at the door of Bella's room afraid to step inside. He couldn't see her like this. The last time he'd seen Paige had been in a hospital with tubes running from her as they rolled her into surgery and he couldn't handle seeing Bella like that.

"You have to go in, Eddie," his mother said softly as she stepped up behind him. "She needs you. That's your baby in there too."

He looked at the floor and closed his eyes, trying his best to hold back the tears.

"Edward?"

He looked up at the hoarse whisper that echoed through the room and found Bella watching him. As he approached her, she smiled but the pale pallor of her lips and the dark circles under her eyes haunted him. She looked like a shell of his Bella.

"Hey baby," he said softly, pressing a kiss to her forehead as he pulled a chair next to the bed and sat down, taking her hand in his, holding it tightly in his grasp as his thumb rubbed over the back of it. "How ya feeling?"

She chuckled. "Like I've been rode hard and put up wet…"

Elizabeth laughed as she moved to the other side of the bed. "Nice to see you haven't lost your sense of humor."

"Like that's possible when you're married to this."

Edward frowned. "Hey! When you get out of here, you will pay for that comment."

They laughed for a moment but it was quickly silenced when the doctor walked in with concern wrinkling his brow.

"Mrs. Masen." He greeted her, then looked at Edward.

"Dr. Kellerman, this is my husband Edward."

"Nice to meet you," he shook Edward's hand then turned back to face her, flipping through the clipboard in his hand before speaking.

"We got your test results back, Bella. You're suffering from HELLP Syndrome- Hemolytic Elevated Liver Enzyme and Low Platelet disease. There's no way we're going to be able to maintain your pregnancy to 34 weeks."

"What? What does that mean?" Edward asked as he gripped her hand tighter.

The doctor sighed. "We're going to have to move her to ICU. Quite honestly, we don't have the capability to support the condition in maternity. We're going to do our best to try to hold you out for a few more weeks before delivering the baby but if it comes to deciding between your health and the baby's you have priority. We'll be moving you in a few hours. I'll check back on you soon."

Bella closed her eyes and looked over at Elizabeth who gave her an encouraging smile.

"Just remember what I keep telling you sweetie, these Masens are stubborn. They won't go away without a fight."

Edward closed his eyes and pressed a kiss to her hand before bowing his head. He'd never been one to pray but now wasn't a time to doubt it.


	33. Chapter 32

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_________****__AN: Hello people! This will be your only update today as I will be stuck in the print shop (printing, binding, cutting... hoping I don't get my finger caught in the industrial electric paper cutter agian). This chapter is not as long as I would like it to be but it was necessary to stop where I stopped it or it would've gone on for days and you would only get one update and I can't have that now can I? I just want all of you to know that I love you and your feedback and I swear I'm not trying to make you want to kill me but like I said, I gotta have my drama and this is it. Forget another woman or man trying to tear them apart that's so been done. :P But by the end of this chapter you'll get some closure on the situation. _

**Anywho... enjoy! **_____**Continue to give me some heads up on some womanizing asshole Edward fanfics. (This will continue to be posted until I have an extremely self-indulgent amount of womanizing Edward.)**_

**R & R! Appease the feedback whore inside.**

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. All characters belong to the wonderful Mrs. Meyer and anything else belongs to NASCAR.** _

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Two

Edward stared at the monitors as he continued to hold his wife's hand. Over the last four days she'd been through hell.

Upon moving her to ICU she was given an epidural, catheterized and had two IV wells in her left arm, and one in her right.

She had an arterial line in her right wrist and her arm was taped to a board to keep the line open. She'd gone from a nasal cannula to a mask for oxygen because her face was so swollen. She was miserable.

He'd missed the race that weekend and forced Jasper to go back to Vegas and drive for him. It had been harder than he'd anticipated but the bond that Jasper still shared with Bella was strong regardless of what they'd been through before she'd gotten together with Edward.

Now he was in the waiting room with the rest of their close friends and family waiting for any kind of word about Bella's condition.

"Are you ever going to leave this room?" Elizabeth asked from the doorway. Edward was beginning to look just as sick as Bella and it was mainly because he'd refused to eat or sleep since she'd been admitted.

Edward shook his head. "I can't. What if something happens while I'm not here?"

"Sweetie, she's going to be fine. I promise."

"Mom, the last time I left the room her lung partially collapsed. I'm not moving!"

A nurse came in and smiled at them then went about checking her fluids and monitors before checking the fetal monitor to check the baby's condition.

Though Bella had been awake a large part of the time she'd been in the hospital, lately it seemed the more energy she put towards staying awake the more exhausted she was and the longer she slept.

"I'm going home for a little while then," she said softly. "Call me if anything happens."

Edward laid back in the recliner next to her bed and closed his eyes, he wasn't leaving but he would get as much sleep as he could.

* * *

Sometime in the early hours of the morning, a surgeon came into the room and woke Edward, asking him to step out for just a moment so he could put a central line in her superior vena cava.

He stood outside nervously, growing even more upset when a few moments later nurses and doctors rushed past him into the room. They closed the door and he watched helplessly through the window as they worked on his wife.

When all had calmed down a doctor came out to speak to him.

He smiled at Edward, realizing the man was scared to death. "She's alright, Mr. Masen. During the threading of the catheter, her vein collapsed and she went into atrial fibrillation. We flushed her system with saline then finished putting in the line. Just don't get upset when you see her. She doesn't look well but she is better than she looks, I guarantee you."

"What about the baby?"

"We saw no signs of distress on the fetal monitor. He seems to be okay. I will tell you though she has started contracting and is four centimeters dilated. We're very concerned about getting her through to next weekend. We had hoped she would make it to at least 32 weeks but it doesn't look possible. She's getting weaker as the days go by."

Edward watched him walk away then entered the room. He looked at his wife and sat down, taking her hand in his once again before he broke down crying.

He wasn't sure how much more of this he could handle. The HELLP syndrome had caused her to develop a distended liver, jaundice, Congestive Heart Failure and subsequent Renal Failure over such a short period of time he couldn't imagine what the next few days would hold.

* * *

Edward sat in the waiting room with the rest of his family not knowing what to do.

Early that morning, not long after the catheter had been put in Bella decided that she could no longer hold on. The decision was made for her c-section at 6 p.m. that evening.

She didn't make it that far.

Sometime around noon, her kidneys completely failed. She was dumping protein and glucose through her catheter. Then the baby's heartbeat started to diminish. Through all of this, the baby had been strong, showing no distress until then.

She had barely been conscious when Edward watched them wheel her into the OR for an Emergency C-Section at 1:00 p.m.

Now everyone sat in silence waiting for the news they wanted so desperately to hear. Every time the doors opened they all looked up and each time they were disappointed.

Edward sat between Esme and Jasper, who was nearly as torn up as he was over the situation. He hadn't faired too well in Vegas being that his mind was far from there. He'd managed a 20th place finish in the Busch race and blown an engine 38 laps into the Cup race. Not that he cared.

He'd shown up at the hospital about the time the race had ended and Emmett got the checkered.

There was little celebration in Victory Lane though as his thoughts were with Bella and soon he as well as Mike, James, Tyler, Sam, and nearly every member of a his pit crew had managed to occupy every single chair, couch and square foot of the ICU waiting room.

At 4:00 pm, the doors opened and Dr. Simmons entered the waiting room.

Edward stood nervously, pulling his hand from his sister's grasp as he stood up and approached the doctor.

Everyone watched in anticipation, waiting for some kind of physical expression from Edward to see if they could figure out what happened as he and the doctor talked quietly. He kept his back to them as the doctor walked away then kept his head down as he turned back towards them.

He looked up into their expectant faces and gave them all a weak smile. "A little girl…" he managed to choke out, as a tear streaked down his pale face. "2 lbs and 15 oz, 14.5 inches long. He said she came out kicking and screaming."

"Just like a Masen," Elizabeth laughed followed by the rest of the room.

Jasper smiled but continued to look concerned. "What about Bells?"

"She's critical but stable. She lost consciousness before the delivery."

* * *

"Edward?" she whispered, reaching her hand out for his, only to turn her head to the side when she didn't find it.

Bella cracked her eyes open and looked at her husband as he slept peacefully in the chair by her bed. Her throat hurt and she felt empty. The last thing she remembered was being wheeled into delivery, nothing afterwards or during.

"Edward…" she whispered again, this time slightly louder.

"Mmm…" he murmured, stretching his arms over his head leisurely until he noticed she was awake. "Bells!" He jumped to his feet and rushed to her bedside, brushing her hair back with one hand as he held hers with the other.

"What happened? The baby…"

Edward smiled. "Shh… She's in NICU."

"Have you seen her?"

He shook his head. "Not yet. Things are kind of touch and go right now but she'll be fine. She was ten weeks premature and she's got a lot of tests and medications she's got to go through. She's part me though, so she'll be stubborn as a mule."

Bella laughed and slowly closed her eyes. "I feel fat…" she whined.

"Well…"

"Edward Anthony, I will cut off your thingy and choke you with it if you say anything mean about me right now."

He chuckled. "I was going to say, you've lost a lot of the fluid weight since the labor. You look just as beautiful as the first day I saw you," he winked.

"You hated me when you met me."

"I did not."

"Did too."

"Mr. and Mrs. Masen?"

They looked up as one of the nurses entered the room with a piece of paper.

"Hi, I just need to get this filled out now that you're finally awake. What's your little girl's name?"

Edward looked at Bella completely stumped. They hadn't even discussed names. Why had that not even occurred to him. He'd just assumed they'd come up with something when they got closer.

"Jacqueline Paige Masen," Bella said softly, smiling at Edward as his gaze crashed with hers.

"Are you sure?"

She smiled and nodded her head.

"That's a beautiful name," the nurse smiled, handing them the certificate for each of them to sign before walking out of the room.

"How long have I been asleep?"

"Three days. I love you, Bells. You're an amazing woman you know that?"

She snorted. "I'm amazing all right. I've got so much juice pumping into me right now I'd probably glow if you turned on a black light."


	34. Chapter 33

__

_________****__AN: Hi people! I'm so glad no one wanted to kill me after that chapter, it was a nice change of pace :D. There are only 6 more chapters guys and then it will be over. We've got a bit to resolve in the time but hopefully I get through it well enough. Btw... I'm sure if you've read my previous ANs on other stories, you may possibly have read that Robert Pattinson does nothing for me... granted, I love him as Edward but that's the extent of my "attraction" to him physically but that man's voice does things to me I can't even begin to explain omg! I listen to Let Me Sign and Never Think at least twice a day on my way to and from work and I swear I could get off just from the sound of his voice... I know that's tmi but...Sorry. I'm okay now, I just had to get that out. Luckily my husband thinks he's an awesome musician and singer and loves to play his stuff as loud as the sound system will go. He even took my soundtrack to the bar where I do karaoke (yes I'm one of those, even entered and won a contest) and the KJ burned it onto his drive so he plays RP as buffer music between singers. It's wonderful!_

**Also for those of you asking if I know someone that suffered from HELLP, I don't... I'm just a thorough researcher and I hope that none of my 15 pregnant friends go through it, nor I when the time comes.**

**Anywho... enjoy! **_____**Continue to give me some heads up on some womanizing asshole Edward fanfics. (This will continue to be posted until I have an extremely self-indulgent amount of womanizing Edward.)**_

**R & R! Appease the feedback whore inside.**

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. All characters belong to the wonderful Mrs. Meyer and anything else belongs to NASCAR.** _

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Three

_14 days later_

After Bella's condition had improved and she'd finally been moved to a private room out of ICU, the doctors took her in for a hysterectomy, deciding that any further attempts at children would be too much of a risk for her as well as a baby.

As far as she was concerned, after what had happened not only with Seth's birth but this one as well, she was all for it. She had her baby and that was all that mattered.

Jacqueline Paige's condition had improved dramatically over the last two weeks but they still had not been able to see her. She'd been on a few medications to help her breath as well as a feeding tube and she'd been in an incubator since birth.

Needless to say when a few of her nurses came into the room on Thursday morning to find out if she was ready to see her baby she nearly jumped out of the bed.

Edward and Jasper, who hadn't left the hospital since the previous Sunday, helped her into a wheelchair and they made their way up to the Neonatal nursery.

After using the appropriate precautions, Edward and Bella were allowed into the nursery to see their daughter as Jasper watched anxiously from the window.

The nurse carefully picked her up and placed her in Bella's arms. Bella looked down at her daughter and tears immediately fell from her eyes. She had a head full of dark bronze hair and a dusting of light hair covered her body, something she'd been told to expect. Having been born premature, the hair was a method of keeping warm. She'd also been told not to be upset because the baby wouldn't open her eyes.

Edward brushed his hand over her face and smiled, looking up at Bella with more love in his eyes that he'd ever felt before. "She's beautiful," he said softly.

He looked over his shoulder at Jasper, noticing the look on his friends face and left Bella's side. He spoke to a nurse and she followed him out handing Jasper the same safety precautions that she'd given to Bella and Edward.

Jasper looked at Edward in confusion.

"Go see her…" Edward said smiling as Jasper appeared slightly confused.

"You sure?"

Edward nodded his head. "It's important to Bells… and it's important to me."

Jasper nodded and followed the nurse in stopping at Bella's side. He bent down to see the baby better and looked at his friend seeing her smiling up at him through the mask that covered part of her face. "She's gorgeous Bells."

"Thanks."

They just watched the small miracle in front of them for a little while longer until the nurse took her away and Jasper wheeled her back to her room, Edward walking silently next to them.

"So is she going to be alright?" Jasper asked once they returned to her room.

Edward nodded. "Yeah. They said she's doing amazingly well considering. She should be able to open her eyes in a few weeks. Of course we probably won't be able to take her home for another month or so."

"Where's Alice at Jasper?" Bella asked, suddenly realizing she hadn't seen Alice since she'd been admitted.

Jasper frowned and looked down at the ground. "She can't handle being here. Not right now. She's still taking the miscarriage rough and I don't think her being here would be a good thing. We've got a lot to get through first."

"Oh by the way, baby," Edward chimed in. "Jasper and Alice got married."

"What?!"

Jasper glared at Edward. "Shut up Edward."

"I thought you guys were having a big church wedding? Jasper your parents are going to kill you."

He just laughed. "I didn't want to wait any longer. Just don't tell anyone. We're still having the wedding."

"Alright… Hopefully I can walk by that point."

"You'll be fine," he smiled, leaning over to press a kiss against her forehead. "I guess I'm going to go home. I know she feels deserted right now."

"Bye Jasper."

Edward and Bella watched as he left then he sat on the edge of her bed before lying next to her. "I love you so much, Bells…"

She smiled at him and brushed her hand over his cheek, wincing as the stubble scratched her sensitive skin. "I love you too. I'm sorry I can't have any more children, Edward …"

"Shhh," he pressed his finger to her lips to quiet her. "Baby, I knew you couldn't when we got married and I know this is nothing short of a miracle. But we've got Kellen, too and the three of you make me happier than I ever thought I'd be."

* * *

Jasper arrived home just as the sun went down. He tossed his keys onto the table by the door and walked into the living room to find it empty. He checked all of the rooms in the house before he got to their bedroom and heard the sloshing of water in the bathtub.

He tried the door but she had it locked, so he picked it and opened it quietly.

Alice was reclined in the bathtub, filled high with bubbles, with her head leaned back and a rag over her eyes as she hummed quietly with the music that played on the radio.

Jasper pulled his shirt over his head and pushed down his jeans and boxers then stepped a foot into the tub, startling her.

"Oh my God!" she hissed, clasping her hand over her heart. "Jasper!" She splashed him as he sank down into the tub facing her. "You scared me to death."

He chuckled and pulled her foot into his lap. "Sorry… by the way, you tell anyone I'm in a bubble bath and I will torture you.

Gently massaging her foot, he slowly moved his hands up her legs, making sure he didn't miss an inch. Stopping just short of the juncture of her thighs, he picked up her other leg and did the same thing.

She lost herself in his touch, closing her eyes as she enjoyed the sensuous feeling his touch left her with.

Jasper leaned forward and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her into his lap so that she straddled him. "I knew this tub was a good investment," he chuckled as she wrapped her arms around her neck.

He slid his hand between their bodies and brushed his thumb over her clit releasing a slight chuckle when she bucked against him.

"I want you inside of me…" she whispered, her voice heated and laced with passion.

Grabbing her by the waist, he lifted her slightly as he leaned back and lowered her onto his hardened cock, groaning at the sensation of her body enveloping him in the hot water. She ground her hips against him, torturing him by adjusting the pressure and rhythm every so often.

"Good God woman you're making me crazy," he growled as she rose off of him, letting his tip brush back and forth over her. "I'm about to fuck your ass so hard you're going to be begging me to stop."

Alice chuckled and smirked at him. "Yeah, I'd like to see you try…"

Before she knew what had happened, he had her on her knees facing away from him and bent over the side of the tub as he roughly entered her. His fingers dug into her hips as he thrust into her over and over.

Rubbing his hand over the smooth skin of her ass before reaching around to brush his fingers over her clit, pinching her lightly as he felt her body tighten around his and her back stiffened as she neared her release.

Jasper leaned back so he was sitting on his feet and pulled her back with him so that she sat on his lap and he thrust into her twice, pulling her down onto him with force allowing his head to fall back as her body jerked against him as she built up into a fiery release.

She screamed out his name as her juices surrounded his cock and with one final thrust he shot his seed deep inside of her.

Alice moved off of him and sat for a moment, facing away from him as she got control of her body, before standing on shaky legs.

Grabbing the towel she'd left on the counter, she slowly dried her body, bending away from Jasper so he could watch the slow sensual movements she made as she did so. He rose onto his knees and got behind her.

Her body was bent away from him, as she dried her legs off, so he leaned forward out of the tub, quickly flicking his tongue out over her wet center.

Alice jumped away from him and smiled. "Nope… you want to do anything else, we'll do it in the bedroom. It's too cold to be that wet."

Jasper watched her walk out of the bathroom and started after her, only to be met with a towel being thrown in his face. "Dry off first, Casanova, I just changed the sheets."


	35. Chapter 34

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_**AN: Hello everyone Hope you're all doing well. I'm cold and tired and really didn't want to get up because my hubby started snuggling about 10 minutes before the alarm went off.... not cool. Anywho... the next two updates are going to be long, then the last few will be about the normal size that I post. I really want to get this story finished by Friday so you'll probably get a few updates tomorrow and Friday along with your White Flag update. I'm working on the story to go along with my short If You See Him, it'll be called It Doesn't Matter. I've only got a few chapters done so I'm probably not going to post it until I finish with White Flag because I know how much you guy slove your daily updates and I've got a story that's semi-finished called Drifting that I'm probably going to start posting next. I've got to make a few adjustments to it but it should be ready soon enough. I've got half a dozen unfinished stories that I would love to post but I just don't know that that's going happen because I can't get them finished. It's frustrating and annoying and everytime I think I'm close on resolving it, I get caught up in something else. I've got a story stuck in my brain right now that involves the Twilight gang and Sam & Dean(rawr) Winchester AU/AH. Not sure if I'm going to approach that yet or not. Anyway, enjoy the update, feel free to pimp me out to others. This story has gotten an amazing response and I just want to thank all of you! I never thought I'd actually make it past the 800 review mark on one story.** _

**Anywho... enjoy! **_____**Continue to give me some heads up on some womanizing asshole Edward fanfics. (This will continue to be posted until I have an extremely self-indulgent amount of womanizing Edward.)**_

**R & R! Appease the feedback whore inside.**

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. All characters belong to the wonderful Mrs. Meyer and anything else belongs to NASCAR.

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Four

Edward watched Bella from the kitchen as she sat by the pool, letting her feet soak in the cool water. He'd finally been able to bring her home after a month and a half in the hospital but Jacqueline Paige was still there and would be for at least another couple of months.

She was doing her best to be in good spirits but it was hard to leave something so precious behind.

They still hadn't decided on what they were going to call her. Bella was pretty set on calling her Paige and did so while Edward called her Jack. Jasper called her JP and Emmett called her Sweet Pea.

He looked at the picture of Bella, Kellen and Jack that he'd put up on the refrigerator. It was taken the day he'd brought her home and though she was smiling in the photograph you could tell her heart was breaking.

They spent at least four hours at the hospital a day and each time they left it was harder and harder.

Jack still hadn't completely opened her eyes so determining her eye color wasn't really possible yet but the doctors and nurses told he and Bella that once her thick mat of bronze hair fell out and started to grow back she most likely would be brunette. Kellen's hair had been bronze at birth as well but the older he got the more it looked like his fathers.

He quietly stepped out onto the patio and walked towards her stopping a few feet away.

"If you're going to stop, don't block the sun…" she smiled up at him.

Edward chuckled and sat down next to her. "When are you going to start wearing your bikini again?"

"When this baby fat falls away and my scar starts to fade…"

"I think it's sexy…"

Bella frowned. "My fat or my scar?"

"Both…"

She rolled her eyes at him and splashed her feet in the water. "You're a freak Edward Anthony."

"Look… both of those came from you having my baby and that's absolutely the sexiest thing in the world. Well… almost the sexiest. You pregnant was pretty hot too. Oh and you not pregnant can cause a damn heart attack…"

"You can stop now. Where's Kellen?"

Edward squinted as he tried to focus on her while the sunlight shone in his eyes. "Bells, we dropped him off with Esme this morning…"

"Sorry…" she murmured, shaking her head. She was having a lot of trouble keeping the days straight after so much time in the hospital but she was gradually getting better.

He smiled at her before kissing her gently. "Don't worry about it."

Edward stood up and pulled his shirt over his head, then dropped his shorts and boxers to the ground and dove into the pool.

Bella laughed and shook her head. "I saw your flip flopper flappin in the breeze when you dove in like that."

"My flip flopper?"

"Yup…" she giggled, using her fingers to imitate the motion. "Flip flop."

"Get in…" he said motioning for her to join him with a jerk of his head. "Take off that suit too, I want to see all of you."

"Edward … I can't have sex which is what you're going to want if I get naked so I'm just going to stay out here fully clothed and watch your nakedness. I'll take care of my frustrations later."

"You don't have to be naked for me to want you Bells," he frowned and shook his head, swimming to the side of the pool where she sat. He spread her legs apart and slipped between them, rubbing his hand over her center through her bathing suit. "You sure are wet…"

"Baby…"

"Just relax, Bella." He moved her to the very edge of the pool and pushed aside her suit, swiping two fingers over her warmth as he did so.

Edward put his fingers in his mouth, tasting her. It had been months since they'd been together and he was going absolutely insane not being able to touch or taste her. He got as close as he could and rested her legs over his shoulders as his tongue darted out, flicking roughly over the tight bud between her legs.

She leaned her head back and threaded her fingers through his hair as he assaulted her with his mouth, teasing her senses relentlessly, her body nearing the brink of eruption as he licked the flat of his tongue over her center.

Bella's body tightened as with one final touch, her body exploded. Her body rocked as waves of pleasure surged through her and she carelessly leaned back on her hands.

"Hey guys!" Jasper called from the door as he walked out of the house.

Edward backed up quickly, diving under the water and swimming towards the edge to hide the fact that he was naked as Alice walked out of the house as well. "Hey…"

"What's up?" Jasper said, sitting down next to Bella, noticing the flushed look of her face as she tried to resituate her bathing suit. "Shit, you just got off didn't you?"

She turned to him with wide eyes. "Jasper!"

"You did! Damn," he laughed. "Are you naked Edward?"

Edward flicked his friend off and asked him and Alice to turn around so he could get out of the pool.

"I don't see why I have to turn around Edward, I've already seen everything you have…" Jasper replied dryly.

"Me too," Alice added.

* * *

Bella stood in front of the mirror with a sour look on her face. Alice had picked a hideous shit green color for her bridesmaid's dresses and it absolutely clashed with her complexion and hair. "Ali, are you sure you want to use this color?"

Alice pursed her lips and looked up at Bella. "Yes… Look it's my wedding and I don't want all of the attention on you. It's bad enough that my fiance is practically in love with you."

Bella rolled her eyes. "You know what, Alice. Screw this." She stepped down and went into the dressing room, quickly changing her clothes. "Find yourself a new maid of honor. I'm not going to deal with this shit."

Alice's mouth hung open in absolute horror.

"First of all, Jasper's in love with you and he's not your fiance anymore, in case you don't remember, you got married in Vegas. And second, I didn't put you in shit green in my wedding and you fucked my husband. So either get over yourself or find someone else."

She watched as Bella whirled around and stormed out of the dress shop. A quick glance around told her everyone in the store heard what Bella had said and suddenly, she didn't want to be there anymore.

"Bells!" she called, doing her best to chase her down the street in very uncomfortable shoes. "Bella!"

"What?!"

Alice had never seen Bella so angry and it scared her. The woman already towered over her and as much as she hated to admit it, all she wanted was her acceptance. "I'm sorry."

Bella crossed her arms over her chest and raised her eyebrow. "Excuse me, what was that?"

"I'm sorry okay. I… what I was doing was uncalled for and I'm sorry. It's just… you and Jasper have this bond that I don't think I'm ever going to be able to come between."

"You don't need to come between it, Ali. Besides your brother, Jasper's my best friend, he's the first person that I was really able to connect with after my husband and child died and he holds a special place in my life and if you can't accept that, then you've got some stuff you need to deal with. Just think about it alright, I'm going home."

Alice watched her drive away and walked a few stores down to a Starbucks. She sat by the window, watching people pass by as she slowly nursed her Italian Roast. For the life of her she just couldn't get past Jasper and Bella.

Yes, he was her husband now and he'd been the one adamant about getting married but it upset her. Especially after they'd been to Edward and Bell's the other day.

One look at her face and he knew she'd had some kind of pleasure… that's not something people should know about anyone other than their significant others and when it all came down to it…

She was jealous.

* * *

Edward pulled the car into the lot and shut it off then looked at his wife. She'd been silent all the way to the hospital and for the last few days she'd barely said more than a few words to him. He'd had enough. He knew it was nothing that he'd done and he wanted nothing more than to get to the bottom of it.

"Spill."

She frowned and looked at him with big brown eyes. "What?"

"What's wrong? You've barely said two complete sentences to me in the last few days, what's the problem?"

Bella slowly shook her head and closed her eyes. "It's nothing you did, I'm just irritated. Alice is being Bridezilla and we got into the other day when I went to get fitted for my dress and it's just eating at me."

Edward frowned. "What was it about?"

"She's just picked out this God awful shit green dress for me to wear. It clashes with my hair and skin and you know why? Because she doesn't want Jasper more interested in me than her on her wedding day. She seems to forget they're already married."

He sighed and closed his eyes. "I'm sorry."

"No, you've got nothing to be sorry about. She's going to have to deal with the fact that Jasper's one of my best friends and that he loves her. It's just childish you know. Did I put her in shit brown for our wedding? No… I let her pick out the color of her dress, not that it mattered in the end anyway but everything is just irritating as hell. I mean she's done a hell of a lot more with you than I ever did with Jasper so what's she got to be jealous of?"

"Well, what are you going to do?"

"Nothing. I told her to find another maid-of-honor. Maybe she'll ask Rose to do it, she is her sister-in-law after all. Look can we just go in and see my baby please. I just need to hold her right now."

Edward nodded and followed her into the hospital. He took her hand in his as they stepped onto the third floor noticing her hands were shaking. Pulling her to a stop, he turned her towards him. "Baby, are you okay?"

She smiled and nodded as he pulled her into his arms. "I just… something about today just feels weird. I just want to take her home Edward. I want to be able to look into her eyes and her see me. This isn't how it should be."

He stepped back and framed her face in his hands, wiping her tears away with his thumbs. "It won't be much longer."

Edward put his hand on the small of her back and led her to the nursery where they were expected. After sanitizing their hands they were led to a small room with a rocking chair and leather couch as they waited for their daughter to be brought in.

She'd been out of the incubator for a few days and all complications aside was doing remarkably well.

When the door opened for the nurse to push her inside Bella and Edward stood and hurried to her. Bella reached down to pick her up just as she opened her eyes, looking at her with big vibrant blue eyes.

"Blue…"

"What?" Edward asked, slightly confused. He looked over Bella's shoulder and saw what she was talking about. He looked at the nurse with obvious confusion. "How? Neither one of us have blue eyes."

She shrugged. "Maybe you both have a recessive gene for blue. Your son has blue eyes doesn't he?"

Edward nodded but didn't elaborate that his wife had had blue eyes as well.

"Well, either way, she's a beautiful child. She looks just like her mama. I'll leave you two alone just let me know if you need anything."

Bella picked up the baby and sat in the rocking chair, gently rocking her back and forth as she stared into her eyes. "She's so beautiful, Edward …" she smiled as a tiny hand curled around her finger. "She's so small."

"Not for long," he laughed. "She's got Masen in her, she'll be eating like a pig in no time. Won't ya Jack…"

"Edward …"

He sighed and looked Bella in the eye. "Baby, I know you want to call her Paige but I want to call her Jack. So you do what you want to do but I can't. Especially with those eyes, I swear, she's Paige made over."

Bella smiled. "Maybe she is. I just feel like without her it wouldn't have happened. Does that make sense?"

"You think she's the reason we have a baby?"

"Edward, I dreamed about Paige a lot while I was pregnant. I never met the woman and all I knew of her was pictures that I'd seen around the house. Neither you nor Jasper or anyone else has ever talked about her and it just seems like she's the reason I'm in your life and the reason we have this baby."

Edward brushed her hair back and kissed her temple. "Baby, I know you think it was her but…"

"She had a slight lisp when she spoke her s's, Edward ."

"What?" he frowned.

"When she spoke to me in my dreams she had a slight lisp. Did Paige have that? Like so minimal you wouldn't be able to catch it if you weren't watching her speak…"

He stared at her in disbelief. "Yeah."

"How would I know that if no one told me?"

Before he could say anything else, a small hand came into slightly hard contact with his. When he looked at Jack she was kicking and waving her arms around with a smile on her little face showing healthy pink gums.

"You want to hold her?"

Edward nodded and Bella stood up so he could sit in the rocking chair before handing her to him.

He stared at her, studying every minute detail of her face and hands, even the patterns on the bottom of her feet. She was perfect mix of he and Bella and the more he looked at her the more he finally began to believe what Bella had said.

A smile tugged at his lips, no one would ever mistake Kellen and Jack for anything other than brother and sister with those big blue eyes. He kind of hoped she wouldn't have his hair though. He'd been a big enough pain growing up and Kellen definitely had his moments. He seriously doubted he could handle any more red-headed temper in his household.

"Bella. Edward."

They looked up as Dr. Kellerman walked into the room smiling at the giggling bundle in Edward's arms. "How's she doing?"

Bella smiled. "Wonderful." Edward couldn't take his eyes off of her long enough to speak so he let Bella do the talking.

"Well, I have to say, you've got a miracle baby there. It's amazing how much she's improved in the last few days. She's definitely ready to go home. But, we're not quite ready. I'm going to go ahead and tell you, at the most, she'll be here another month but right now, we're only anticipating two weeks. She's a fighter."

"Thank you Dr. Kellerman."

"No problem. I'll give you two a few more minutes then she's going to have to go back to the nursery. Too much excitement wears them out quickly when they're that small." He watched her with Edward for a moment, noticing she was feeling her way around her dad's face, getting to know him a little better by touch since her little eyes couldn't focus well. "I'll see you two tomorrow."

Bella smiled when the door closed and squatted down next to Edward and the baby. "We'll call her Jack…"

Edward pressed a kiss to her lips and smiled down at the tiny miracle in his arms. "Did you hear that? I got my way again…"

* * *

Jasper watched Alice violently turn the pages of a magazine as if it'd done something to piss her off. "You need to call and apologize."

"I tried, she blew me off. I'm not apologizing again!"

He rolled his eyes and stood up, trying to find himself a magazine to look through. The last few days had been nothing short of a nightmare. When she'd come home from meeting Bella the other day she'd been in bitch mode and she hadn't gotten out of it yet.

When she'd told him what happened, he was pissed off to say the least. The fact that she wouldn't apologize was only magnifying the situation as far as he was concerned.

"I'm going for a drive. I'll see you at home."

He stormed out of the doctors' office and drove through town before finding himself somewhere he hadn't been in a long time.

Shutting off his truck he stared at the rolling green hills surrounding him and got out, walking about 100 ft before kneeling down. He sat back on one foot and propped his arm on his knee and closed his eyes. "Where are you when I need you girl?" he whispered as he wiped away the freshly mowed grass from the base of the marble stone as his eyes fell on the elegant engraving.

_Paige Madison Cullen_

_April 13, 1982 – October 29, 2008_

_Loving Wife, Mother, Daughter, Sister, and Friend_

_In acceptance, there is peace_


	36. Chapter 35

___**AN: Morning people... it's not good so I won't even pretend that it is. My husband's car died on the way to work this morning, luckily I was a little ways behind him and he made it to my exit so I could pick him up but either way, its not good. I'm hoping its just a busted hose but it could possibly be a cracked radiator which we certainly cant afford at the moment. On top of that, I know I shouldn't complain because its not like we have to pay anything but we're getting back $700 less this year on our tax refund than we normally do which bites. Stupid tax rebate. **_

___**Now, seeing that I'm already in a bad mood I just want to say something really quick. I've worked my ass off on this story and my writing in general. I love to write and I do it because of that as well as for you guys who enjoy reading my stuff. That being said, if you don't like my story, DONT READ IT. If you have a question about something, send me a message and I will answer but don't post reviews asking questions questioning MY STORY. I don't read your stories and question what you write and I would appreciate having that respect in return. I understand criticism and I'm all for that but don't post a review that makes me or anyone else that's reading this feel or look like an idiot. **_

**_Now regarding some questions about why Jasper when to Paige's grave, people do it all the time. It's something that's done out of respect for the person that passed away and a way to feel closer to them and talke, get things off of their mind even though all thats there is that person's body. Jasper and Paige were very close, I mentioned it earlier in the story that she was like a big sister to him. As for Jack's eyes being blue, I realize most babies are born with blue eyes, however my brother wasn't, he was born with brown and they stayed that way, I was born with gray and they stayed that way. I guess its my fault because I didn't explaing it perfection but its the odd shade of blue that here eyes are that are "Paige's eyes". Anyway... It's My fiction... MY story... MY rules. If I say its the way it is, that's the way it is. DEAL WITH IT! Damn I'm in a mood today._**

_**Now... this is another long one the next few chapters will be short. I'll probably post an extra chapter this afternoon so we can get this story wrapped up by tomorrow.**_

_**Anywho... enjoy! **______Continue to give me some heads up on some womanizing asshole Edward fanfics. (This will continue to be posted until I have an extremely self-indulgent amount of womanizing Edward.)_

**R & R! Appease the feedback whore inside.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. All characters belong to the wonderful Mrs. Meyer and anything else belongs to NASCAR.**

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Five

Edward sat in his truck staring at the front door of his best friend's house wondering if he was doing the right thing. Bella would've kicked his butt if she knew where he was but at the moment he didn't really care. This entire ordeal was getting out of hand and it was tearing things apart.

He slowly got out and ambled up the driveway and rang the doorbell, expecting the surprised look on Alice's face when she opened the door.

"Edward? What are you doing here?"

He frowned and walked past her into the living room, not waiting for her to invite him in. "I'm here to talk and you're going to listen."

Alice crossed her arms over her chest. "What if I don't care what you have to say?"

"You do care, now shut the hell up and sit down."

"Hey! This is my house you can't tell…"

"SIT!"

She swallowed hard and sat on the sofa looking up at him like a child who'd been scolded.

"I want you to listen good to what I have to say because I'm only going to say it once. Grow the _fuck_ up. This shit with you being jealous of Bella is really going too far. She's been nothing but nice to you since day one, despite what happened between us and if there's any call for insecurities, she's the one that had the right, not you. Yes, Jasper did love her… does love her. But only as a friend. And I realize how freaked out you are about their relationship but you just need to grow up and get over it. You didn't know Paige, Alice but she and Jasper had this unbreakable bond and Bella's really filled that void in his life. She's like an older sister, someone he can talk to and ask for advice, someone he can confide in who won't judge him and someone who loves him for who he is.

"I'm sorry if you're jealous of that relationship but it's just something you're going to have to deal with. I do. But you know what? I trust them. There's nothing in me that tells me not to because I know that Bella loves me and we're together for a reason and we've got a beautiful baby girl to prove that. But Jasper loves you, he's married to you for God's sake, and he's the one that's hurting because of this childish, petty argument between the two of you."

Alice frowned and looked at her hands shamefully. "Does he know you're here?"

"Neither of them do," he replied, shaking his head. "They're at the hospital with Jack."

She looked up at him with tears brimming in her eyes.

Edward sighed and closed his eyes, her jealousy went deeper than he thought. He closed the gap between them and knelt in front of her. "Sweetie, you'll be mother in time. You're young and you've got your entire life ahead of you. Don't hate Bella for that too. She's already had a child taken from her you can't resent her for our child."

Alice nodded her head and wiped the tears from her eyes. "I… I just want what you guys have…"

"You have it," he smiled. "Aside from a bronze-haired hellion and a baby thrown in the mix you have that. Jasper loves you with all his heart Alice. Trust me I've been watching the pain he's been going through for weeks because he was torn between loving you and being with Bella when she needed someone to be there."

"But she has you…"

"She gets sick of me. I coddle her too much and he doesn't. He doesn't treat her any differently than he did before." They sat silently for a few more minutes before he spoke again. "Look, I'm going to get back to the hospital. I'm not telling you to call and apologize to her right now, just… think about what I said and do it when you're ready but if nothing else call and leave a message at the house to at least ease her mind."

"Alright…"

"I'll see ya later," he smiled, placing a chaste kiss on the crown of her head.

"Edward ."

"Yeah?"

"Thanks… and I'm glad Bella and Jack are okay."

* * *

Jasper stared at Jack as she lay in his arms in complete amazement. "She reminds me so much of Paige…" he'd said breathlessly when Bella had placed her in his arms.

She smiled and sat next to him, watching as he inspected her fingers and toes and brushed her thick hair back with his long fingers. He leaned down and placed a kiss to her forehead and smiled. Today had been the first time he'd seen her in a private room and out of the prying eyes of nurses and he was taking his time to get to know this little girl.

He'd never looked at her so closely and just the thought that this little girl could be his Paige amazed him. She'd come back to him. Not that he'd tell anyone else that, they'd think he was a few beers short of a six pack.

"You realize I'm going to spoil her rotten don't you?" he asked Bella with a smile.

A soft laugh escaped her lips. "Be my guest, it'll save us some money."

Jasper smiled at her then back down at Jack. "You're going to be Uncle Jasper's girl aren't ya JP. Forget smelly ol' dad."

"Hey… I'm not smelly," Edward said defensively as he walked into the room and joined Bella on the sofa. "Has he been hogging her the entire time?"

She nodded and laughed when Jasper glared at Edward. "Behave boys, you can share. I'm going to go get some water. I'll be back."

They watched her leave and Jasper thought a moment whether or not he should say something to Edward about Jack. He decided to go ahead and if he laughed at him, he'd play it off… somehow.

"Edward?"

Edward raised his brow in question, smiling when Jack giggled as Jasper brushed his thumb over her cheek.

"Don't think I'm crazy when I say this, but… I swear this baby is…"

"Paige."

Jasper looked at his friend in surprise. "I thought I was nuts."

"Well, if you are, so is Bella… and I guess I am too. She's the one that said it. It didn't really hit me until I saw her eyes. That's why we're calling her Jack. Paige hits a little too close to home for me."

Jasper frowned. "Then why'd you name her Paige in the first place?"

"It was Bella's idea. And as crazy as it sounds, Paige brought us together."

"It's not crazy…"

Edward watched as his friend's voice faded away and a tear slid down his cheek. "Um… Jasper, not to be rude or anything but I can't handle you cryin' dude."

"Sorry… I went to see her a few weeks ago, when all this mess with Bells and Ali started."

"Look, don't worry about that alright. Things are going to be fine. Just focus on you and Alice."

Bella came back into the room with tears streaming down her face and her hand clasped over her mouth and rushed into Edward's arms, startling Jasper and the baby.

"Baby what's wrong?" Edward asked in a hurried whisper.

She smiled and shook her head. "Nothing… we can take her home today! She can go home…"

With a triumphant laugh, Edward wrapped his arms around his wife's shoulders and pulled her against him, allowing tears to stream down his face.

Jasper smiled and looked down at the gurgling baby in his arms before looking back at his friends. "Um, Edward, not to be rude or anything but I can't handle you cryin' dude."

* * *

Jasper sighed as he walked into the house and tossed the keys on the table. He was worn out. He'd helped Edward finally get everything unpacked for Jack and helped straighten up the nursery before coming home and he was worn out. He'd left as Edward headed back to the hospital to pick up "his girls."

Now he had to face Alice and he wasn't sure he was ready for that. She'd been pissed when he left for the hospital that morning, muttering something along the lines of him caring more about Bella than he did her. Something he never expected was for her to launch herself into his arms the moment he shut the door.

"I'm sorry…" she whimpered as she buried her face in his neck as she wrapped her legs around his waist and arms around his neck.

Jasper frowned and pulled away from her. "What? Huh?"

"I'm sorry. I've been a childish bitch and I'm sorry." She wiped the tears from her face and stared up at him with red eyes. "I'm just scared I'm going to lose you to her… to the baby…"

Baby was barely out of her mouth when she started bawling and he quickly took her into his arms. "Shhh… It's okay. I'm not going anywhere. Though I can't promise anything about Jack… she's a charmer," he chuckled, glad to see her smile in response. "Just trust me. I've never given you any reason not to and I never intend to."

Alice nodded and leaned back into his embrace. "Can we go lay down? I've been crying all day and I'm really exhausted."

"Sure thing," he smiled and carried her up the stairs to their room, depositing her on the bed. "Now rest up… I expect lots of make-up sex when you're done."

* * *

"Thank God she doesn't look like you," Rosalie smirked as she glanced over at her brother before peering back into the bassinette to stare in awe at her niece.

"Kiss my ass, Rose."

"Ew…"

Edward crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the dresser. "Did you come here to see her or make my life miserable?"

"Both. Where's Bells?"

"Sleeping. The excitement of bringing Jack home took a lot out of her so she passed out as soon as she put her in here."

Rosalie nodded and gasped as Jack opened her eyes for the first time since she'd been there. "Her eyes!?"

Edward rolled his eyes. "I'm going to put that on a poster above her so people won't freak out every time they see that. Now when is Emmett picking you up? I want to get some sleep while I can."

She checked her watch and frowned. "He should be here any minute. Where's Kellen? Has he seen her?"

"He saw her once at the hospital but it was just for a second. He's been talking Bella's ear off about her though. Well as much as a 2 year old can talk and make sense of it. I just know every other word is Jack. He's really excited but I left him with Mom for the rest of the week. It should make it a little bit easier to get into a routine without having to worry with him for a few days."

"Damn, you have a kid and pawn the other one off on someone else?"

Edward rolled his eyes. "Get out of here… And watch your language around the babies."

"Not like you weren't saying worse out of the womb. But I'm gone… I'll see ya later." She gave Edward a quick hug and kiss on the cheek and he watched as she ran out meet Emmett.

He waved at his brother-in-law then closed and locked the door. Taking a bottle of water out of the fridge he went upstairs and checked Jack's monitor then went into the bedroom and stripped off his shirt and pants before sliding into the bed next to his wife.

She murmured something and curled against him, tossing her leg over his and resting her head on his chest. "Love you…"

Edward smiled and pressed a kiss against her head. "I love you too, baby…"

Bella yawned and stretched her arms over her head. "Alice called me. She left a message for me to call her about what happened."

"Did you?"

She shrugged. "Not yet. I don't really know if I'm ready to talk to her yet."

Edward sighed. "You need to Bells, you guys are ripping Jasper in two. You've got to come to some kind of happy medium, at least until this wedding is over and you can get past it. But you know it'll kill him if you're not part of that wedding."

"I know, I know. I just… I don't hold grudges but I don't give in that easily either Edward. If I don't stand my ground on this she's just going to do it again."

He closed his eyes. "She's just jealous Bells. We have everything she wants in her life and she's just jealous. She wants to be happy, she wants to be loved, she wants to have children. She wants her and Jasper to be like us."

"Edward …" she sighed. "She has what we have… with Jasper. He loves her Edward, I know he does."

"I know he does too, baby. But she just needed to be reminded of that."

"Did you go see her today?"

"Yes…" he said softly, waiting for her blow up at him.

Bella sat up and looked at her husband. "Why'd you do that?"

"Because this shit is driving me just as nuts as it is Jasper. We both love you guys and you need to straighten your asses up. She's pretty much a child Bella, I realize that. But you're not. You're a grown woman and you need to act like one. I know you've been stressed over your pregnancy and Jack but you're both fine now and we're happy. Now try to straighten out the rest of your life. Don't make Jasper choose because you're not going to like his choice."

* * *

Emmett Brandon stood in front of the mirror and groaned. "I've gotta lose some weight. I look like a potato."

Alice giggled. "You can always get a bigger size."

"Hell no! I'm going to lose weight. I refuse to get anything bigger. I'm going to lose twenty pounds before your wedding. I'll just have to stop eating what Rose cooks and get back to the gym. I don't think I've lifted a single weight since we got married. Damn I'm lazy."

"Emmett, you haven't lost twenty pounds since I was born, how are you going to lose it in two months?

"I've never lost weight because I never needed to. It hasn't been that long since I was solid. " He shrugged. "I just won't eat and I'll start working out. I'll be good as new in no time."

"Yeah, that'll happen."

He stood stiffly while the tailor took his measurements and told him to just hold them he'd come back in a few weeks for another fitting. "Have you talked to Bella?"

"I left her a message. I haven't heard anything back yet. She's probably too pissed to call me back."

Emmett sighed. "No, she's just probably trying to prove a point. What color are you going to let her wear? I agree with her. That dress you had picked out wouldn't have looked good on Kasey Kahne much less Bella."

"Kasey? What the hell?"

He laughed. "I'm saying he's a pretty boy and it wouldn't have worked on him. Bella's pretty too but honestly I think Kasey's prettier than she is and I mean that in purely heterosexual way."

"Sure ya do."

"But you and Jasper are okay now?"

She nodded. "Yup. We're fine. We had some kick ass make up sex yesterday."

"Hey! I had too much knowledge of your sex life as it was while you were staying with me I don't want to know anymore."

Alice sighed and pulled her bottom lip in, chewing slightly on it as she debated whether or not to tell him what she and Jasper had done. "We're already married," she spat out before she realized what she was doing.

"What?!"

"We got married in Vegas, the day before Bella went into labor with Jack."

He sighed and sat down on a bench and buried his face in his hands. "Do mom and dad know about this?"

She shrugged and gave him a slow shake of her head. "No…"

"Are you pregnant?"

"No…"

"Then why?"

"Jasper was ready to get married."

"Were you?"

"Yeah… I just, it was unexpected and then I felt it was kind of overshadowed by Bells goin into labor…"

Emmett shook his head. "Have you really gotten that selfish Alice?"

"I'm not! I swear. I'm over it. I was just having some problems. I'm not jealous anymore."

"Good. Bella doesn't deserve it."


	37. Chapter 36

_____****_

AN: Alrighty people. This is the afternoon update I promised you. I know its short but I told you it would be. You'll get the last two chapters and extermely short epilogue tomorrow so I can finally put this baby to rest. You'll also get your White Flag update for those of you reading that. Be looking for my new story next week called Drifting, I'm not sure when its going to be posted but it'll probably be sometime before Wednesday. It's also now half an hour before I have to leave work, my husband has my new car with his nasty smelly bathtub refinishing chemicals in it WHICH I'M SUPER PISSED ABOUT and he hasn't even gotten to his truck to try to replace the radiator hose so I'm super unhappy at the moment. I have no desire to sit and wait for him to fix this in a rather unsavory part of North Birmingham to fix it. Anyway... enjoy the update.

**R & R! Appease the feedback whore inside.**

_____****_

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. All characters belong to the wonderful Mrs. Meyer and anything else belongs to NASCAR**Chapter Thirty-Six

* * *

_**Anywho... enjoy! **______Continue to give me some heads up on some womanizing asshole Edward fanfics. (This will continue to be posted until I have an extremely self-indulgent amount of womanizing Edward.)_

"Bella's going to kill us for doing this, you know," Emmett hissed as Edward pulled the truck into the driveway.

Edward shrugged. "She'll get over it."

"But we won't. Death is pretty permanent. I'm not really up for that today I'll go for something a little more temporary."

"Emmett, you're being a pussy. Grow up and be a man."

"I am being a man. And I'm going to do something damn manly and run and hide," he replied weakly as he got out of the car and started down the driveway towards his own.

"Chicken shit," Edward muttered just loud enough for Emmett to hear, knowing it would goad him into doing exactly what he needed him to do.

Emmett shook his head and continued walking towards his car. "That ain't working today my man. Bella intimidates me a hell of a lot more than your daddy ever did, on or off of the track. I ain't doin it. You got your Lowe's discount, my job is done."

Chuckling, Edward shook his head and lowered the tailgate of his truck pulling out the supplies he and Emmett had picked up, setting them on the grass on the front lawn. "I can't do this by myself Emmett…"

"Then find another delinquent to help you. Jasper's probably available."

"I don't see what the big deal is. You had one of these growing up, every kid does…"

Emmett rolled his eyes. "Edward, neither Kellen nor Jack are big enough for that yet. Are you sure you're not building it for you?"

Edward frowned. "No. What would I need it for?"

"A place to hide when Bella tries to kill you? I'm not helping. Bye."

* * *

Four hours later, Bella pulled into the driveway and her mouth fell open. She threw her car into park and grabbed her purse then Jack and stormed across the front yard with determination. "Edward Anthony! What the _hell_ are you doing?!" she called, staring in disbelief as Edward balanced himself on a tree limb trying to hammer a joint hanger into a 2 x 4.

He grabbed onto the tree trunk to balance himself and looked down at her with a childlike grin. "Building a tree house."

"Well, you better install plumbing and make sure there's enough room for you to lie down comfortably."

"Bells…"

"NO! The kids aren't old enough for that yet Edward and as high as you're building it they won't be able to get up there until they're fifteen."

"But I just wanted to do something around to help. I feel like you're doing all of the work and taking care of the kids…"

"I am," she joked, sticking out her tongue as she did so. "Not to mention you're going to break your neck trying to get down from there and who's going to support me when you do that? Where's Emmett?"

"Huh?"

"Well you got all of this stuff at Lowes didn't you?"

Edward nodded, carefully dropping the tools he had in his hand to the ground before slowly making his way out of the tree.

"I'm assuming you took Emmett so you could get a discount… So where is he?"

A boyish grin tugged at his lips. "He took off. Said you were more intimidating than Dad ever was and he wasn't going to help me cause you'd kill us both."

"I think I married the wrong man," she replied dryly, turning away from him.

"Hey!"

"What?"

"Gimme my pumpkin…" he took Jack's carrier out of her hand then twined his fingers with hers and they walked towards the house. "You know, Esme's only got Kellen until tomorrow. Are we going to take advantage of it or not?"

Bella watched him curiously for a moment. "We can try I guess."

"You don't sound so sure…"

"I just don't know how it's going to feel…" she shrugged. "But if it hurts me too much, I can take care of you."

Edward preceded her up the stairs and took Jack into her room, gently placing her in the bassinette, thankful that she didn't wake up.

Bella was laying back on the bed with her eyes closed and her feet planted on the floor when Edward walked into the bedroom. He closed the door and turned the radio on, letting the soothing tones of Michael Buble's "You and I" permeate the silence.

_Here we are  
On earth together_

A soft sigh escaped Bella's lips as the words were sung. "I love this song…"

"That's why I turned it on…" Edward chuckled.

_  
It's you and I  
God has made us fall in love  
It's true  
I've really found  
Someone like you_

"Come here," he said, pulling her to her feet and into his arms.

She closed her eyes and leaned her head on his shoulder, savoring the feel of his arms wrapped tightly around her body as they swayed together.

_  
Will it stay  
The love you feel for me  
Will you say  
That you will be by my side  
To see me through  
Until my life is through  
Well in my mind  
We can conquer the world  
In love you and I  
You and I, you and I..._

He pulled back and placed a gently kiss on the curve of her neck, letting his lips linger before moving on to her shoulder and down her arm to the bend of her elbow. "I love you…"

_I'm glad  
At least in my life  
I've found someone  
That may not be here forever  
To see me through  
But I found strength in you  
Cause in my mind  
You will stay here always  
In love you and I  
You and I, you and I  
You and I, you and I  
You and I_

She smiled. "I love you too…" she pressed her lips to his then brushed them back and forth against his until he stopped her by placing his hands on either side of her face.

"Be still for a minute…"

_In my mind  
We can conquer the world  
In love you and I  
You and I, you and I  
You and I..._

Bella stared into his eyes before slowly closing hers and leaning into his embrace as his lips captured hers, quickly thrusting his tongue through the barrier into the warm depths of her mouth.

He backed her towards the bed as the song ended and slowly lowered her onto the comforter, raising over her just as the shrill cries of an infant began to stream through the baby monitor.

"Fucker…" he groaned as he rolled onto his back, defeated. "Fuck, fuck, fuck."

"Edward ?"

"Hmm…"

She laughed and patted him on the arm. "It's your turn. I've had her all day."

He stood up with a groan and made his way towards the door. "I will get what I want from you… just wait…"

Bella laughed as he walked out of the room and turned her attention to the phone on the night table wondering if she should do what she'd been thinking about doing for days.

Before thinking herself out of it, she picked up the phone, quickly dialing the number she knew by heart.

"Hello?"

She bit her tongue for a moment, not really sure what to say.

"Hello? Is anyone there?"

"Alice?" she sighed.

"Hey…"

"I'm ready to talk…" Bella could almost hear the relief in the younger woman's sigh as the words came out of her mouth. "Where do you want to meet?"

After a moment's thought Alice answered. "The bridal shop."


	38. Chapter 37

__

**AN: Okay, so apparently I had three more chapters plus the super short Epilogue so it looks like you guys will be getting 4 updates today. You'll get this one now around 9ish EST another at 12, another at 3 and the Epilogue will be posted around 5. You also get a White Flag update today so you guys enjoy your reading. I've got a lot of reading to catch up on myself. Hopefully I'll be able to start posting the next story next week, the more I look at it the more I want to tweak it a bit so just bear with me please it'll happen. I have a busy day today at work and my hubby's truck is still not fixed, apparently it's a freeze plug that he can't get to without taking off the oil filter which means he has to change the oil so it's a whole bunch of mess, but hopefully it'll be done by tomorrow. I want my pretty car back and he's getting it all manned up with his nasty work self. Love you guys!**

**Enjoy! _____Continue to give me some heads up on some womanizing asshole Edward fanfics. (This will continue to be posted until I have an extremely self-indulgent amount of womanizing Edward.) Thanks for all the suggestions I've gotten so far. They've been wonderful._**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. All characters belong to the wonderful Mrs. Meyer and anything else belongs to NASCAR**.

* * *

__Chapter Thirty-Seven

Alice paced the sidewalk in front of the store, nervously waiting for Bella to get there. She'd offered an olive branch and Bella took it, now she had to make things right, if for no other reason than to make Jasper happy.

"Hey," Bella said softly, startling Alice out of her thoughts.

"Oh, hey…" she smiled nervously. "You ready to pick out a dress?"

"Excuse me?"

Alice took a deep breath and looked at her. "Look. I overreacted. I've acted like a selfish, jealous brat and I'm sorry. But I am. I'm selfish and I'm jealous."

Bella frowned, not quite sure how to respond to that statement. "Ummm…" seemed like a good response.

"I want you to go in the shop, find a dress that you like, that you want to wear in mine and Jasper's wedding. And I don't care what color it is, as long as you look beautiful in it."

Crossing her arms over her chest, Bella eyed the small woman in front of her. "What's with the attitude change? Not that I'm not accepting or anything but what brought it on? You were pretty set on it how you felt."

"Well, I've been lectured by three men, all of whom seem to think you're the greatest person in the world and I need to just realize my life would go a lot smoother if I just sucked it up and took it like a man or woman. And I know that Jasper loves me. I think I was scared I would lose him to you and it was a little more unsettling than it should've been."

Bella nodded. "Two of them were Jasper and Edward no doubt. Who was the third?"

"Emmett, of course. I think he's spoiled by you and no other woman will ever be good enough for him, even Rosalie has her faults."

"Well, I should've married him. He's got more sense than Edward does lately."

Alice laughed at that. She knew Emmett would get a kick out of it, making a mental note to tell him later. No doubt something he'd throw up at Edward when needed.

"So what color are your other bridesmaids wearing?"

"There aren't any others…"

Bella frowned at that. "What about Rosalie? She isn't in the wedding?"

"She's an honorary bridesmaid," she shrugged. "She didn't want to stand up in front of all those people during the wedding cause she said she'd cry and her make-up would run."

"Well, I'd have to agree with her on that one. It's a good thing they took their wedding pictures before the ceremony although Edward has had a field day with her raccoon pics from the reception."

They walked through the store for a little while finding colors that went well with Bella's complexion and hair.

"What does your dress look like?" She asked Alice before she started pulling dresses from the racks. She wanted to fit in with her plans as well as she could.

"Well, its… white satin, lots of beadwork, a-line…"

"Is it glamourous bride, classic, romantic… what?"

"Glamorous I guess…"

Bella chewed on her bottom lip and stared at the dress rack in front of her. "This is at night, correct? Formal?"

"Super formal."

A laugh escaped as she pictured Edward tugging at his collar throughout the ceremony. Their wedding had been small, informal and perfect on a private beach on the North Carolina coast as the sun rose over the Atlantic. Comfortable despite the fact that it was at 6 in the morning.

Stepping forward she pulled a full length satin dress from the rack and held it up to get a good look at it. It was a dark shade of blue, the perfect mix of blue and dark gray that gave it a look of elegance. It had a mermaid skirt and was off the shoulder, assymetrical with a broach on the left side.

Alice's mouth fell open in awe. The dress was gorgeous and with Bella's figure, she'd be radiant. Just her luck. "It's beautiful…" she said softly.

"Too beautiful?"

Shaking her head she smiled. "No, not too beautiful. Go try it on."

* * *

Edward popped open a beer and leaned back on the sofa with a sigh, propping his feet on the coffee table as he did so. "This is the life…"

Emmett rolled his eyes and knocked Edward 's feet off of the table. "Nice example you're setting, there," he said pointedly, motioning towards Kellen, who was sitting in the floor in front of the tv playing with some toys.

"All I did was put my feet on the table."

"That's not what tables are for," Emmett said smartly, gently bouncing Jack to sleep in his arms as he paced behind the sofa.

"Emmett, what are you doin' to my kid?"

"I'm trying to put her back to sleep Edward. She woke up, I changed her diaper, fed her, burped her, now I'm trying to get her back to sleep."

Edward frowned. "Why are you doing it?"

"Very good question, Dad. Put the beer down…" he demanded. Edward put the beer on the table and stood up, carefully taking his daughter out of Emmett's arms. "Now bounce a little. You did this with Kellen, you can do it with her."

"Kellen was never this small."

"Doesn't make it any different. She's a Masen, she's not as fragile as she looks, at least that's what you keep telling me."

Edward rolled his eyes and sat down in the rocking chair that his mother had given him right after Jack had been born. Emmett handed him a towel and he set it on his shoulder then positioned Jack so that her head rested on her shoulder. He gently rubbed his hand over her back and closed his eyes momentarily until a flash went off in his face.

"What the hell man?" he whined at Emmett.

Emmett shrugged and smiled. "Kodak moment."

* * *

Jasper looked down at the invitation in his hand. Yes, he and Alice were already married but the grand production that this wedding was being made out to be was making him extremely nervous.

Was it possible to run from a wedding when if you're already married to the person?

"What the hell…"

He shook his head and tossed the invitation on the table and walked to the kitchen to grab a beer, debating whether or not to go to Edward's for awhile. Alice and Bella were shopping for Bella's dress and he needed guy time,really bad.

Quickly downing his beer he grabbed his keys and closed the door behind him.

Jasper walked into Edward and Bella's ready for heavy duty guy time and found Edward rocking Jack to sleep and Emmett sitting in the floor playing with Kellen. "What the hell is this shit? Daddy daycare?"

"Language…" Emmett and Edward both hissed at him.

Jasper rolled his eyes. "Nevermind, I guess it's the Twilight Zone."

"What are you doing here?" Edward asked, slightly confused by his friends appearance. "I thought Alice had you running errands today?

"She did. I had to pick up the napkins and the invitations, get the final fitting for my tux and all that crap. But I freaked when I saw the invitations. I needed some guy time."

"Um, Jasper," Emmett said dryly. "You're already married. Why are you freaking out now?"

"I dunno."

He grabbed a beer out of the fridge only to be stopped by Emmett taking it out of his hand. "No alcohol right now."

"Emmett… I need a beer, I need guy time…"

"Fine… we'll go out tonight and get drunk and do the guy thing."

Jasper eyes him carefully. "You sure? You're not going to go make plans?"

"With who?'

"Gee, I don't know, YOUR WIFE…"

"Rosie's in New York with her mother."

Edward chuckled. "No wonder you won't go home, you can't handle being by yourself you wittle baby."


	39. Chapter 38

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**Enjoy! _____Continue to give me some heads up on some womanizing asshole Edward fanfics. (This will continue to be posted until I have an extremely self-indulgent amount of womanizing Edward.) Thanks for all the suggestions I've gotten so far. They've been wonderful._**

**AN: Sorry guys! I'm having a hectic day, you'll have to bear with me on these updates but they will be posted before the day is over. If something is misspelled or doesn't make since in this update, I'm sorry, I don't have time to proof it before posting because I LOVE MY WORK!!! :p**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. All characters belong to the wonderful Mrs. Meyer and anything else belongs to NASCAR**.

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Eight

"What do you mean he's freakin out? We're already married." Alice stared at her brother extremely confused.

Emmett had made his way over to Alice and Jasper's as soon as Bella came home, telling the guys that he had some errands to run. What he really had to do was tell Alice to be ready to deal with Jasper freaking out over the wedding.

"He's a guy. Wedding's make us nuts. Not in the happy nutty way but the 'what the hell am I thinking way'."

She frowned. "You're not helping. What'd he say?"

"Just that he picked up your invitations today and when he got to looking at them it pretty much just made him want some guy time." Emmett shrugged and walked into the kitchen, searching the cabinets for something to munch on. "We're going to have a little 'bachelor' party type thing for him tonight."

"It's the middle of the week. And I don't want strippers grinding on him."

"You think I'm going to let that happen? Geez, Ali. Have a little faith…"

* * *

Jasper threw back the last of his beer and watched the woman gyrating her hips in front of him, wearing little more than a g-string and pasties. He shook his head. This was doing nothing for him. He thought he needed some guy time but all he could think about was Alice and he wanted to go home and be with her.

A glance at Edward told him he'd rather be doing anything but sitting there as well. He'd yet to cast a look at the stage and that fact in and of itself was extremely funny. The one time confirmed bachelor was now a husband and father with a gorgeous wife and two beautiful children at home and being in a strip joint was the last place he wanted to be.

Emmett waved the woman over and stuck a twenty in the string of her 'costume' and sat back with a grin. "Now this is what I'm talkin bout," he chuckled, rolling a cigar between his lips as she continued to perform for their table.

"Em, do I need to call my sister and tell her where you are?"

"What? No… Why would you do that?"

"Emmett… I'm ready to get out of here," Jasper called over the music.

With a frown, Emmett checked his watch. "Dude, it's barely 10."

Jasper shrugged. "I just… I'd rather be home with Ali."

"And I sure as hell would rather be home with Bells," Edward chimed in as he stood up and stretched his arms over his head.

"Well you guys suck…"

"Sorry," Jasper laughed. "You stay here. No reason you should leave."

Emmett rolled his eyes. "Rub it in please. No reason to leave would be the fact my wife is miles away spending my money and have no one for companionship except myself?"

"You said it, not us," Edward chuckled, giving him a good-natured slap on the back. "See ya later man. Just behave, I like having you as a brother-in-law and I have a feeling if you ever had the opportunity to be single again Bells would divorce me for you. Please don't piss my sister off."

Edward dropped Jasper off on his way home then pulled into his drive, surprised to find every light in the house off. He frowned and got out of the car, quietly stepping onto the porch.

Once inside, he tossed his keys on the table by the door and went upstairs, checking on Jack and Kellen before quietly opening the door to his bedroom.

A beam of moonlight came through the windows, illuminating Bella's face and he couldn't help but smile at how young and peaceful she looked when she was asleep. He'd spent many nights just watching her. It calmed him down. She calmed him down.

He could honestly say he'd never felt better in his life than he had since Bella came along. Everything about her made him happy.

Edward pulled his shirt over his head and sat on the bed to take off his shoes and socks then walked into the bathroom for a quick shower to remove the smell of smoke and cheap alcohol from his hair and body.

Sliding into the bed, he sighed as his skin touched the cool sheets and he closed his eyes.

"Edward?"

"Hmmm?" he asked, keeping his eyes closed. He was comfortable and content.

Bella pushed herself up in the bed and glanced at the clock. "It's 10:45. Why are you home already?"

He shrugged and opened one eye to look up at her. "I was bored. Plus, why do I need to go to a strip club. I've got you here and you can strip for me for free."

She pushed him hard enough that he slid off of the bed, causing her to giggle. "Oops."

"Oops!? My ass! You broke it!"

"I didn't break your ass… And be quiet, the kids are asleep."

Edward peered at her over the edge of the bed and wagged his eyebrows at her before he got up and started crawling towards her. "Do I make you horny baby?"

Bella tried to withhold her laughter as he sat up on his knees and ran his hands over her chest smugly. "Oh yeah you stud," she mocked.

"I'll show you a stud," he growled as he practically jumped at her, latching his mouth onto her neck.

"Oh damn," she murmured at the shockwaves that shot through her body as he pressed himself against her. She leaned into him, allowing him more access to her neck. "God you feel good…"

Edward chuckled and moved his lips to the hollow of her throat before moving lower, pushing her tank top out of the way to take a taut nipple into his mouth.

She arched into his mouth as he teased her other breast, twisting her nipple into a tight pebble. He flicked his tongue over her, then latched took it between his teeth gently tugging at her.

Bella slipped her hand between their bodies and into the waistband of his boxers, taking him in her hands, stroking his cock until she was satisfied with the hardness then pushed him onto his back and rose over him, straddling him.

A smirk pulled at his lips as he let his gaze roam over his wife's body. She was sexy as hell with her hair mussed from sleep, her white tank top hanging haphazardly from one shoulder and a very tiny pair of blue boy shorts covered her most sacred area.

He slowly rubbed his hands up her thighs and slipped his fingers into the waistband of her panties. "Take these off they're in the way…"

She laughed and stood up on the bed sliding her panties down as Edward watched eagerly. Kicking them aside, she started to sit back down only to have him grab her and shake his head. "What?"

"Sit on my face…"

"Edward …"

He frowned. "Come on baby… a little 69 action never hurt anybody."

Bella laughed and knelt next to him on the bed. "Baby I want you inside of me… your cock. Not your tongue." She pulled her shirt over her head and pushed his boxers out of the way before tossing her leg over him and carefully lowering herself onto him. "Although, we'll hold that option for a little later…"

Edward watched as she chewed on her bottom lip, taking her time to readjust her body to him. They hadn't been together in a few months and as tight as she was, he knew he was going to explode before she finished what she was doing.

"Alright, I realize it's been awhile and seeing that's the situation, if you don't hurry up with what you're doing, I'm going to be a lost cause before you even get started…"

Bella, placed her finger on Edward 's mouth. "Shhh…" she whispered as she took him in completely and waited a moment for her body to adjust to him.

"You're so fucking tight," he groaned through clenched teeth as he used all of his energy to hold off until she was ready.

He placed his hands on her hips and urged her to move when she was ready and she slowly began rocking her body against him, grinding her hips into him. Her movements quickened as her body neared release.

Neither had the ability to hold off the inevitable, it had been too long since they'd been satisfied in such a way and each second the release grew closer.

Unable to hold off any longer, Edward flipped her onto her back and pulled out of her. He rubbed the tip of his cock over her clit knowing how much she liked it when he did that then thrust back into her, burying himself completely in her warmth. "Shit baby… I'm close…"

"Uh…just… keep fucking me…" she moaned. "That's it… I'm almost there…"

Edward groaned in frustration as she wrapped her legs tightly around his waist and held him in one place, not letting him move momentarily just before she pushed her body up against his sending them both over the edge.

He held her tightly as she rode wave after wave of release then rolled onto his side and pulled her into his arms.

"Yesss…"

Bella chuckled. "What?"

"We finally had sex without a baby interrupting…"

She shook her head and gently brushed her lips over his. "I love you…"

"I love you too."

Not a second later, Jack's cries broke through the silence of the room.

"Your turn…" Bella sang as she rolled over and snuggled into the covers, smiling as Edward stumbled to get dressed and left the room.


	40. Chapter 39

_****_

**AN: Alrighty guys, this is the beginning of the end... all thats left is the SUPER SHORT EPILOGUE but loose ends are tied and that's all I can offer you at the moment. As for the person that asked why I haven't had any Rosalie/Emmett lemons or moments, Rosalie's not a huge player in this story for one thing and another, the possibilities of their sex life scares the hell out of me. I've written one R/E lemon and its a short but honestly I'm too intimidated by them sexually. Thank you for your understanding. :D**

Enjoy! _____Continue to give me some heads up on some womanizing asshole Edward fanfics. (This will continue to be posted until I have an extremely self-indulgent amount of womanizing Edward.) Thanks for all the suggestions I've gotten so far. They've been wonderful._

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. All characters belong to the wonderful Mrs. Meyer and anything else belongs to NASCAR**.

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Nine

"I think I'm going to be sick…"

Bella rolled her eyes as she finished applying her lipstick. "What is it with you people? You've been married for months already, why are you nervous?"

"Because there's a million people here and I know a third of them, not to mention there's going to be half a dozen photographers out there. How did you and Edward keep it so quiet?"

She shrugged. "Edward woke up one morning and said lets drive to the coast and get married and forget the wedding we've actually got planned we know we love each other and don't need an audience to prove it…"

"Really? No planning?"

"None, at least not for that wedding. He completely looked over the fact that I had spent days and hours compiling guest lists and shopping for dresses."

Alice sighed. "Why didn't we do that?"

"Um, actually you did but rather than piss your parents off by telling them that you went ahead and let them spend a shitload of money to pay for you to get married to someone you're already married to."

"Thanks for putting things into perspective for me Bells. I appreciate it." Alice growled. "Would you help me with this thing?"

Bella took the veil out of her hands and pushed them out of the way. Carefully placing it on her head without messing up her hair then smoothed it down. "You look beautiful."

"Really?" Alice asked with a nervous sigh.

"Absolutely."

A soft knock on the door got their attention and Emmett stuck his head inside. "Wow… You guys look beautiful."

Bella raised a brow and smiled.

"You look more beautiful than Bells though Alice. Don't worry. You girls ready?"

Alice nodded. "As ready as I'll ever be."

After giving her a quick hug, Bella walked out into the lobby of the sanctuary where Elizabeth was waiting for her with Kellen. "Thank God you're here. He's pulled his tie off three times and has taken off his shoes twice. This one's just like his daddy when it comes to dressing up."

Bella laughed and took Kellen's hand. "You ready bud?"

Kellen watched her expectantly and held out his arms to her. "Up Ma."

"No buddy, we're going to walk. Hold onto this okay." She knelt down and handed him the small pillow with rings tied onto the center with a ribbon.

Though only two and half years old and a little too young to be a ring bearer, Alice and Jasper had refused to take no for an answer when they asked for him to walk down the aisle with Bella. As far as they were concerned, Kellen was a very big part of them meeting, in a roundabout way. Luckily he was well past developed in his walking skills, but staying still was a bit of a problem.

Bella straightened and took the bouquet that Elizabeth handed her before reaching down to take Kellen's hand in hers.

"Just walk with Mommy, Kellen. You're going to see Daddy," Elizabeth smiled, kissing him on top of his head before opening the door as the music started.

Bella led Kellen down the aisle, her eyes never leaving her husband. The moment she laid eyes on him he was tugging uncomfortably at the neck of his tux but when he saw her, he stopped and his mouth dropped slightly. A smile tugged at his lips as they reached the front of the sanctuary and Kellen called out to him and ran towards him, causing a ripple of laughter to echo through the room.

Bella stepped aside and turned as Alice made her way down the aisle with Emmett on her arm and Karsyn playfully tossing flower petals into the air as she led them towards the front.

Emmett took a seat in the front row in between to their mom and stepfather and Rosalie, who sat contentedly with Jack in her lap, then looked over as Jasper took Alice's hand in his, smiling from ear to ear.

"You look gorgeous," Jasper whispered as they stepped up to the preacher, saying their vows and exchanging their rings before being greeted by deafening applause as the preacher introduced Mr. and Mrs. Jasper Whitlock."

"You didn't tell me that dress was so freaking hot," Edward whispered against Bella's neck as they posed for pictures after the ceremony. "I damn near threw you down and fu…"

"Edward!" she hissed as she elbowed him lightly in the stomach. "We're in a church. Watch it."

He chuckled and slipped his arms around her waist, pulling her back against his chest. "Just wait till we get home…"

After another half hour, Alice, Jasper, Edward and Bella finally made their way to the reception which was already in full swing. Mike and Tyler were swing dancing quite horribly to an old Stray Cats song receiving more than their share of laughs and catcalls, not to mention flashes were going off everywhere.

Edward grabbed a couple of plates and piled them high with various fruits and sandwiches then found Bella sitting at a table with Rosalie and Emmett. "Here babe," he said, placing the plate in front of her before turning towards his friends. "You alright Emmett?"

"Yeah," he shrugged in response, looking less than alright. "My baby sister is barely 20 and she's married."

Bella laughed and shook her head. "You'll be fine Emmett."

He stuck his tongue out at Edward and looked towards the stage where Jasper and Alice had managed to capture the microphone from the deejay to say a few words to their family and friends.

Jasper smiled as he watched Alice tap the microphone and few times before raising it to her lips.

"Excuse me um… we just wanted to take a minute to thank all of you for being here. This has really meant a lot to us and we're so happy that you guys wanted to be here. Also, I'd just like to tell Emmett thank you soo much for giving me the opportunity to work with him. I wouldn't have met Jasper without you."

Emmett waved it off dismissively as she handed the mic to Jasper.

"Alright, I'm going to make this short and sweet. Edward … Bells… Thanks."

An awkward silence took over the room as Jasper turned away from the guests and said a few words to the deejay before turning back. "Now you two get your butts up here… We're dancing."

Bella's eyes widened as she watched Jasper pull Alice onto the dance floor. "Dancing? You don't dance… I don't dance…"

"We can't deny them on their wedding day, Bells."

"Why not?"

"Because we can't…"

Edward stood up and took her hand, pulling her out onto the floor with hundreds of eyes watching. The song had yet to start as Jasper and Alice stood expectantly waiting on them.

"What are you doin to us, Jazz?" Bella asked as she crossed her arms over her chest and cocked an eyebrow.

Jasper just winked and turned to look at the deejay giving him a slight nod.

A heavy beat and clapping suddenly filled the room and Bella and Alice burst out laughing as Jasper and Edward started clapping along bouncing up and down like they'd injected sugar into their veins.

_Switch  
Alright ready  
Come on man, this is what I do  
Yo mic check, mic check, yeah here you go  
Nah, he over here  
Yeah, I heard he got that hot new thing  
It's called "Switch" (switch)  
Let's get it going_

Hey switch, turn it over and hit it  
Turn around, now switch  
Turn it over and hit it

Hey, vibe to vibe a second, it's a club girl why you arrived naked  
Hear that, how the veteran glide the record  
But don't download, go out and buy the record  
Hey, something sexy bout her  
Girl on the floor, all her friends around her  
I mean real clean, ain't gotta touch or nothing  
It ain't like I like a chick on chick or something  
I'm just a sucker for a hot track  
Gimme a drink and a chick to tell 'Stop that'  
Dance is a hop and a clap, flip it round  
Now bring it on back, break it down  
Now switch

Before too long, everyone in attendance was on the dance floor doing their best to keep up with the two drivers and their embarrassed wives.


	41. Epilogue

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**AN:** **This is the end... I hope you've all enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I certainly loved reading all of the reviews. Hopefully I'll get as many on my next story but I'm not getting my hopes up on that one. **

**Also for those of you who didn't get the significance of Edward, Bella, Jasper and Alice dancing to Switch at the reception just think about the story... Jasper dated Bella... Edward screwed Alice... Jasper dumped Bella and she started dating Edward... Jasper started dating Alice. So they SWITCHED. I thought it was a cute way to end things but you know.**

**Anyway.. here's the SUPER SHORT epilogue! Love you guys!**

**Enjoy! _____Continue to give me some heads up on some womanizing asshole Edward fanfics. (This will continue to be posted until I have an extremely self-indulgent amount of womanizing Edward.) Thanks for all the suggestions I've gotten so far. They've been wonderful._**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. All characters belong to the wonderful Mrs. Meyer and anything else belongs to NASCAR.**

**

* * *

**

Epilogue

"I swear to God Jasper Hale Whitlock you are never touching me again!" Alice screamed as they wheeled her through the doors into delivery. "Never!"

Jasper watched helplessly as a nurse rolled his wife away from him and pushed him towards the admissions desk. "My wife…"

"Just fill out these forms please. We'll be with you in a minute," another nurse said, not bothering to look up as she handed him a clipboard full of forms.

"Thanks…"

He sighed and walked to the closest empty chair and sat down, trying is best to fill out the forms while his hands shook uncontrollably.

"Jasper?" Bella asked as she hurried into the waiting room and sat next to him. "How's Ali?"

"I'm not allowed to touch her again," he laughed, his nerves not hidden easily by his attempt at humor.

She smiled and took the clipboard out of his hands. "Let me fill these out alright. You're libel to write down anything right now."

"I'm scared to death Bells… what if…"

Bella looked up at him with stern eyes and made him look at her. "Nothing bad is going to happen this time Jasper. She's full term, she's had a healthy pregnancy. She's fine."

"I just get so scared after you and Jack…"

"Don't. It was dangerous for me from the start. Alice has taken very good care of herself."

He nodded shortly. "Where's Edward ?"

"He's on his way. He was at his mom's when you called but he was going by to get Emmett and Rosalie on his way so they should be here soon."

"Mr. Whitlock?" Jasper looked up when he heard his name and saw a short woman in a nurse's uniform with a friendly smile and warm eyes. She reminded him a lot of his mother. "If you'll come with me we'll get you cleaned up so you can go in."

"Go in?"

"For the birth, your wife told us she wanted you there."

He looked at Bella nervously and she squeezed his hand. "You'll be fine. I'll finish getting this papers filled out. Give me your wallet."

"Huh?"

"For insurance information…"

"OH…" he shook his head and handed his wallet over to her before following the nurse through the swinging doors with one last nervous look over his shoulder.

Edward yawned and looked at his watch then pressed a kiss to the top of Bella's head. They'd been sitting in the waiting room for nearly eight hours and hadn't heard a thing yet. But first labors were more often than not a lot of waiting.

Emmett had been a nervous wreck since they got there and had finally managed to get comfortable enough to fall asleep, giving Edward a chance to focus on something besides him momentarily.

He never thought Jasper would be a father this soon. It had barely been a year since the wedding but he couldn't say it surprised him all that much.

The soft tap of footsteps drew his attention and he looked up into the smiling face of his best friend. Gently nudging Bella awake they both stood up and rushed to his side.

"Well?" Bella asked enthusiastically.

"Mom and babies are doing fine…"

Edward frowned. "Babies? Did you say babies?"

"I didn't know…"

"Yeah well we had to keep an element of surprise," Jasper said, quickly cutting Bella off. "Boy and a girl. Nine minutes apart."

"Awww!" Bella jumped into his arms and squeezed him as tightly as she could. "I'm so happy for you guys!"

"What'd you name them?"

"What do they look like?" Emmett chimed in from behind. "Between your blood and mine they oughta have some crazy hair and insane bone structure, not to mention some to die for muscle tone."

"Shut up, Emmett," Rosalie quipped, smacking him on the back of the head. "So?"

A sentimental smile pulled at Jasper's lips and his eyes seemed to glaze over. "They're beautiful. John Paul," he shook his head with a laugh, "looks like Ali. Stella Winston looks like me… poor thing."

"You let Alice name your kids after the Beatles? Really? John Paul… And what the hell is Winston?" Emmett burst in. "I'm surprised she didn't name your daughter Michelle or Yoko."

"Hey! Can you be happy for me for a minute!"

Emmett smiled and shook his head. "Hey, its part of being in the family Whitlock. Get used to it. Glad you helped bring in the beatnik generation for the Brandons."

_**The End**_


	42. AN: Poll & Upcoming Info

Hi everyone!

I'm working on the story to go along with the short that I did called _If You See Him_ so hopefully I'll be able to start posting soon, it's called _It Doesn't Matter_. Honestly I'm going to try to enjoy having a little break from my daily updates so I can get caught up on the reading, which is my favorite thing to do anyway.

I've got a poll up on my profile that I would like to get your guys feedback on if you don't mind. I've got a story that's actually finished but it's another one of those racing background sorts that I'm sure you guys are sick of me writing. The story in itself doesn't really take place at the track it's similar to This Year's Girl in that manner. It will include Bella with Edward and someone other than Edward, I'm not saying who other than it isn't Jake and it may or may not end with E/B. I don't want you guys starting to read the story and then yelling at me because it's not E/B. You're getting fair warning here that there is someone, not Jake, that is also involved.

So please go vote!

I've also started a C2 with some of the Doucheward suggestions you guys have sent me. They aren't all listed yet so please give me time but they will eventually be there.

That's all for now!


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